Have you ever been pressured to stay in a relationship because the other person is depressive and suicidal and threatens to kill themselves. ?

How can i stay away or prevent this kind of situation, should i just stay away from people with things like depression, would i be wrong if i just refused to date people with depressiin problems
This has happened to me three times now, i always ended up leaving the person after stating a lityle too long because of this it has happened before so I don't know why i don't learn my lesson but i just can't afford being the cause of someones death even if i know its just to keep me around iy takes me a few days before am sure they will not do anything if i leave.
Has it happened to any of you if yes how did you deal with it, if no any advise in general

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex did this to me whenever we argued. It wasn't often we did but if we argued it was over stupid things (for example I was upset one day in school and a guy friend of mine had hugged me - he went ape shit when he found out) and his response was always the same. I must not be good enough so why don't I just kill myself? The thing was he was not depressed, it was an empty threat, but the amount of pressure it causes is insane. When I realised he wouldn't breaking him up with him became a lot easier. It's an easy way to manipulate somebody and often it doesn't mean anything, however if you suspect they really do mean it (or they have a track record of suicidal thoughts due to mental illness) then the best thing you can do is tell someone so they are aware to keep an eye on the person in question.

    Dating someone with mental health problems is not a walk in the park, it's a lot of mental and emotional strain on you to because your relationship is based on support and can quickly become symbiotic. You must be able to accommodate their needs and moods and (I'm thinking of OCD here) habits and be calm and collected in their moments of crisis even when you want to have a bit of a breakdown yourself. They'll maybe need that support more than you need theirs but there's a tendency to avoid putting your problems on people you know are already suffering. Sometimes this is the right thing to do, other times we're not giving that person enough credit and they're stronger than we think and we're suffering alone for no good reason.

    If you've been in these relationships then you know the ups and downs and everything in between, only you can decide if you're capable of handling it. If you can't, you are absolutely not in the wrong to avoid people, though it may sound harsh. A relationship comes with various trials and problems sometimes yes, but in the end it should make you happy, comfortable and be healthy for the both of you more so than it is a chore to work at. If the pressure of supporting someone with their problems exacerbates and creates problems with your own mental health, you have every right to pull out of that relationship or say no to entering it because your health is important to.

    Sorry this is so long, once I started writing I couldn't bring myself to stop!

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    • Thank you very much for your opinion it does make me feel better, some people made me feel like I'd be in the wrong for refusing to be in a relationship with someone "just" because they have mental issues and all but you are right its my choice amd it should not be a chore.

    • Your very welcome, wishing you the best!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been there, actually still am, I helped her get out of her depressive state and she kept me from leaving her multiple times like that, now it just turned around, me being the one who's depressed, i started cutting because of her and even where going to kill myself at some point, i would have done it, the problem is i still feel like i live her, i wouldn't want to kill myself, because i wouldn't want to hurt her. if you're in a relationship like that i can just advise you, to be careful, it's not your job to get your partner out of depression, if he/she tells you she's gona kill herself because you want to leave her, that is mental abuse and it can really be bad for your mental health, if you partner makes you feel bad or responsible for his problems you better leave, if you don't want to do that, because you feel like you still love them, put them infront of an ultimatum, tell him/her. that if he/she loves you and wants you to stay, then they have to do something about their mental health, you can try to give them a chance to try to better themselves on their own, even though most won't be able to do so, best option would probably be to tell them to get help from a professional, if they don't want to do so, leave them and if they tell you, that they'll kill themselves tell their parents or call 911 and tell them what they said to you, trust me, it's the best option

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14
  • Yes I used to. They won't do it. I had a girlfriend that were a champion at this, in the end everytime she brought up the threat I just replied "no you won't" end of the conversation.

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  • I would just leave them and tell their parents or something

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  • Three people killed them self over you?

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    • No they didn't kill themselves but threatened me to do so if i break up not because of me but because of there problems they just sort if want someone to be there for them

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    • Thats what am going to do.

    • Smart choice. have good luck

  • It happened to me before but it ended with her cheating on me...

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  • just let them kill themselves, its not your life after all

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