Is it weird to choose to be single?

I’ve never been too fond of dating complete strangers and would rather be with someone I’ve gotten to know over time without having the pressure of that “dating” lends itself to sometimes. Am I weird for feeling like this? The other day I told one of my friends about this and she made me feel weird. It’s not like I haven’t had other guys take interest or anything it’s just not me.

Is it weird to choose to be single?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Every time I hear a girl say “I’m happy to be single” I know deep down she craves the exact opposite. It’s just a feel good lie she tells herself and self affirmation. It also falls into her fake pride.

    I’m a financially successful athletic man with many hobbies. Truth is I’m lonely as fuck right now and I have had horrible luck ever since my ex ghosted me with no warning a year and half ago. I have no idea where to start to get back on my feet.

    I’ve had 5 or 6 hook ups. But my confidence is very low and I’m finding that women are picking up on it easily and getting more and more rude when I try approaching them. I’m questioning if I’ll ever get married or someone that will make me happy.

    You see that’s the fucking truth. I could easily say “I’m happy with myself” because I do have a lot going for me but I’m not. Not at all.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • How long were you with your ex for?

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    • she sounds like a complete bitch and did you a favor by leaving you... you can find yourself a sweet wonderful girl

    • @crissyjoon I know that many women get bitchy as a sign of being “strong”. They will try to humiliate guys who are doing nothing wrong for their own shits and giggles.

      I’m not afraid to approach women. If I see an attractive women I’ll find a way to introduce myself. But recently I’ve been getting some very negative responses.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, that's a good thing. To many people date just for the sake of dating and not because they actually like the person they are dating. You know you're not ready right now and just want to focus on yourself. Maybe you're friend made you feel weird cause she prefers dating instead of being single.

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    • I think you’re right because she’s always had boyfriends

    • so for her being single is something she might not be use too.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 68

  • I always say.. I am Happily Single but flexible! Flexible for the right person to come along but they better BE GREAT!

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  • Yes, it is weird. Most people want to be with someone, and usually those who declare otherwise are lying to themselves to make them feel less bad about being single. Sure short stints of being single are fine, but I find usually the people who claim to be "happy being single" are 1) Not actually happy about it & 2) Have a lot of issues that they are unwilling to work on or compromise in any way which makes them a bad partner, which is why they are still single.

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    • As I’ve said in my original post, it’s not like I haven’t had other opportunities, I just don’t want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one. I want to form a real connection with someone and the people that have approached me, I haven’t formed that. I have felt like I was lying to myself about being happily single, but I don’t feel like that right now. I’m actually happier working on myself so when I’m ready to be with someone I’ll be more available

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    • Of course I would when I feel the time is right but not right now hence the not approaching others

    • I don't understand why you are trying to defend yourself.

      You asked if it's weird I told you, and now you are telling why it's not weird... So you don't think it's weird... so why are you asking? Sounds like you are trying to justify why it's ok, and have people tell you things that make you feel good. Fishing for compliments. Which means you don't feel "good" about it. So you are again lying to yourself. Do what you want, I'm just pointing out what everyone else sees, and won't say to you. If you want to live your life like that then do it.

  • Yes, it's weird. It means you are not we enough adjusted with yourself to be able to share your life with someone you love. It's not something to brag about - you're in the minority, not the majority.
    It's not bad per se, but in your words, yes, weird.

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    • Actually, a lot of people are serial monogamists because they aren’t well adjusted enough to feel that they’re complete with another person or survive without ready affection.

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    • @Ginfiend - and all that is good, but has nothing to do with the question.

    • But it does- it’s a valid reason to choose to be single rather than jump into a relationship

  • If it's actually by choice, then no it makes sense. If you're not attracted to anyone, then no sense in trying for a relationship. If it's not by choice, while sad it's still better than being with someone that will have you JUST to be in a relationship. Plenty of people in relationships they hate purely for fear of being alone.

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  • Honestly i feel the same. Im not much into the whole courtship thing. They only reason i can give myself is that im INTJ. Not really good with romance because i know i dont "need" to be with someone. Even if i find someone im interested in someone i fail to figure out what i would do with them.

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    • I’m also an INTJ so I’m really independent and don’t want to be with someone just because. I do really value my own time and eventually when the right person comes around I’d want to share my time with them.

    • That poses an issue in itself. I have learned the hard way that opportunity are made, not given. As INTJ we become more critical of ourselves and thus our partners. We also lose patience for anyone we don't think are worth our time without validating it. You have to be careful when denying potential mates, as in our eyes they get thinner ever year. Unless you say fuck it and just start dating for the sake of dating.

  • No it isn't weird at all. You do you.

    I've found that the people who shame people who prefer to remain single are themselves unable to survive solo, they need someone attached to their side to survive and I honestly laugh at them for being so dependant

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  • Nope. I don't like the "rules" people have put on "dating", while still trying to claim they are "getting to know you". No you're not! Those people want to confirm me to be what they already had in their mind before meeting me, instead of actually seeing me as I truly am. So, I'm okay with being single, it's less of a hassle. The best relationships I had (2) we treated each other as good friends

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  • It has only been in recent years that dating has become so impersonal... It used to be that your friends would set you up with somebody that they thought was a good match for you! Nowadays, we depend so much on online applications, that dating has really become more like car-buying than cementing a relationship. I don't blame you for not wanting to be a part of that

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  • Not at all, take some time to just know yourself when its only you, you will learn to never get to a point where you look back and wonder how you changed for the wrong reasons, if and when you want to be with someone you will know, I was with someone 10 years, it ended however for the past year and a half to two years I've been happy single, as my ex has, we are best friends and often talk about it being awesome for the moment to not feel like we need to make someone else happy ha

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  • Completely normal. I think our culture sensationalizes dating people we just happen to meet, but a lot of the lasting relationships I'm aware of have been with people who got to know each other first through friendship.

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  • I've had times when I was like this, probably hormones or mood swing or such.

    I don't blame ya. Sometimes being a free bird is way better than the stress.

    Flip side is, when you're healthy and horny and doing alright in life, there is NOTHING as amazing as taking someone you like and falling into bed with them, feeling their lips on yours and their arms around you.

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  • Nope. Sometimes people wanna take the time to focus on themselves, get their shit together, etc.

    You should never be in a relationship because it’s expected of you. That’s totally the wrong reason.

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    • If anything, I think it’s weird, for lack of a better term to feel the need to be in a relationship all the time.

  • Definitely not weird. Everybody's different and I think that it is a cultural or social "pressure" to date strangers. I like to meet new people in a more casual setting too, as it is more comfortable for me to get to know the person better.

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  • No, It's not weird. I've been single for 4 years and no sex since then either.. but that wasn't by choice lol still I don't think it's weird there's plenty of voluntary single people.

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  • It is normal for a girl to put multiple guys in the friend zone. Dissect their lives over time then pick one or two to be boyfriend material. It is a normal way of protecting yourself

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  • No is very normal. Some people are just wired that way and are very happy being single and staying single. Being single is underrated, it has many advantages.

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  • Well no one really dates complete strangers. Relationships are usually formed after people have gotten to know each other. You just need to find someone who who would wanna go on lots of dates before you guys start being official.

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  • Not weird. I have never dated and I’m 20. People pressure me to get into a relationship, or kiss a girl, but I just like to do my own thing

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  • Ofcourse not,
    some people tend to stay single.
    But even though, when you meet the right person, you'll lose the lone wolf behavior.

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  • Absolutely not! As long as it's your own choice and no one is pressuring you, then you're free to make whatever choices you feel are best for you ❤️

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What Girls Said 42

  • I agree with you about not dating strangers. Some people have terrible personalities.

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  • Nope, everyone is different and wants different things.

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  • Nah, i like being single. Get to spoil myself, check out/fantasize as many guys as i want without worrying about if I'm being unfaithful, also its just less stress. Like right now i just want to focus on the things that are actually important like my family and bettering myself and becoming successful. Many times i yearn for the warmth and support of another person, but its not a priority right now.

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    • I definitely don't want to be single later down the road. I hope to find somebody special

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    • I feel the exact same way as you do. Sometimes when I’m vulnerable or lonely I wish I had someone but once I get out of that I realize I’m still trying to better myself and learn about myself and I don’t think I’d have the room for another person rn

    • Yep. Hmu. If u want

  • It's your choice, and don't let anyone tell you it's weird. My boyfriend and I knew each other for about 4 years before we started dating, and that felt right for us and it may well be the right way for you too.

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  • I don't date strangers. I always start off as friends. Normally someone I meet at school/work or other things where we have time to get closer without any pressure. I've been on a date with a stranger once and it was really terrifying for me. I rather get close to someone in a natural way than try to force something with someone I don't know. I guess I'm like you.

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  • Not weird at all. Limiting, yes. Weird, no. Getting to know people beforehand helps in weeding them out and seeing them in their own non-threatening environment. What I did as well.

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  • No I don't think it's weird to choose to be single because it's your choice and if you're ready for it then you can choose to go in the world and try but if you don't want to be and you don't want to be in a relationship then that's also your choice to live how you want to live

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  • "I’ve never been too fond of dating complete strangers and would rather be with someone I’ve gotten to know over time without having the pressure of that “dating” lends itself to sometimes."

    You realize that's how most serious relationships start. Dating =/= meeting strangers. You want a LTR, you just don't want to have to wade through crap getting it.

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    • You can be friends first or meet others through mutual friends and get to know them that way. I mean the actual date scenarios where you talk online or in person just the two of you without really knowing too much and seeing each other then.

  • So, you want basically a friend you have known for a while to date rather than a random guy you met at a bar or swiped right for on tinder. It makes sense. My current boyfriend was a friend before he was anything else. As for being single, just embrace it. Because as great as it is to share moments with someone special, it is just as great to cherish moments by yourself.

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    • Lol yes that’s basically what I’d want. Of course things happen in life but that would be my dream. Getting to know each other and care for them as a person and friend first without any other motives.

  • I never wanted to have a boyfriend. I didn't plan getting one but there was a chance and I took it, you know just to see what's so great about dating since everyone makes it seem like it's something special :D I like him but I can't say I'm happier than when I was single

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  • Nah, it’s not weird. Especially when you’re younger, this is the time to discover what YOU want, and having an SO makes it that much harder to focus on yourself.

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  • Not really, I'm sure after several heart breaks would leave anybody defeated like that.

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    • I’ve never dated anyone seriously before but I wouldn’t consider my past things with guys heartbreaks. I’ve been sad but I suppose maybe that also contributes to my feelings rn

  • No, it's not weird at all. My best friend is pretty and she chooses to be single. She's been asked out by loads of guys recently, but turned them all down and when asked why she said she just simply wants to be alone and not in a relationship.

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  • No, i personally don't think it is. I myself choose to remain single as well. I have my reasons: I come with quite a few problems even i can't always handle. Having to share them with a minimal amount of people, continue therapy and work on them is what i'm going for.
    I don't have time. I've got school, internship and soon a job. I also try my best to make time for family time. Besides that i'm glad my friends are okay with us not seeing eachother every day or so. Imagining another person in my life is just mayhem. Besides all of that i just don't have the need to have a love interest. My sex life is quite active and i get enought love and attention from my family.

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  • No, not everyone can be single for a long time, but that's great that you can and choose first to love yourself and have time for yourself rather than another human

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  • No way. I'm single and 23, and I love it. I have my own agenda and can do as I wish.

    Plus, you have your whole life to find someone.

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  • You're emotionally independent, or disconnected..
    Usually girls aren't emotionally independent, so yeah I would say it's unusual..

    Are u asexual too? Or somewhat asexual.

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    • I’m definitely emotionally independent and definitely not asexual

  • No, it's not weird. You're being true to yourself ans standards. That's rare these days. I applaud you.

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  • Nope not weird, your life your choice, do that what you feel comfortable with and don't listen to other people

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  • We are individuals and no one has the right to tell us, we are weird.

    I've chosen to be single instead to be with someone cos of 'social pressure'

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