Is he treating me as an option?

We had 3 dates only. First two dates were just amazing, we had very strong chemistry, we had great time together and felt close. After a second date he was traveling to see his brother and I suddenly found the way he responded to my messages very distant, so I asked him what's going on. This continued, so I confronted him and asked him directly if this is a "ghosting act". Later he sent me a message saying that he felt smothered. After two weeks, he started to call me and saying that he misses me and that he wants to hear me and later he invited me to a dinner. I agreed and I enjoyed it. However, I felt that he's a bit closed to me and that he doesn't show that much affection as he did before. Is this a normal dating progress or am I expecting too much (I'm divorced and very new to the dating scene). Even though he's paying for expensive dinners, just feels like I'm not really important to him.. what can I do to change the dynamic?

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  • I'd suggest taking the initative and inviting him out on a date you've planned so he has one less thing to worry about, and it does sound like there may be something on his mind that has nothing to do with you.

    People do sometimes get cold feet or flake on others, so that is a possibility, but I suspect that there is something else going on.

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    • I'm not sure if taking the initiative is the best thing to do - he already said that he felt smothered. I sometimes check in with him, I show interest in his little son (he's divorced).. We didn't sleep together yet, so it's not that he lost interest after we became intimate..

  • Maybe he's just horny 😂
    Jk, hum I don't know be frank and ask him, the truth is always better.

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