Why is this 'friends with benefits' thing suddenly so popular? Why can't men just 'court' women the old fashioned way any more?

Did it start with Hollywood making ir popular through films?

Surely it's a messy odd way to compilcate your love life?

What happened to good old fashioned dating people you like and then hopefully marrying them? Rather than this use and abuse culture where you just care about your own instant pleasure and to hell with others and their feelings.

I think it is destructive to friendships, relationships and family values. I know everyone will have their own opinion on this but I can imagine these arrangements causing a lot of confusion and heartache.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because relationships are extremely complicated nowadays. Because of the new open and connected world, people are always trying to make their way in the world by working hard. This could also mean that they might have to move to another country/state because of their work, and they won't like to factor relationship into account.

    Apart from this, highly biased and expensive divorces, have already scared the men to death of being married to wrong person and being chained for the rest of the life, even after divorce.

    All these factors, makes the relationship really difficult. But people do have sexual desires. Hence friends with benefits is easier and convenient way for bith parties to be free ofsuch commitments.

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    • You've given a nice rounded answer but you'd think people would want companionship and emotional connection at some point. It's all a bit depressing really.

    • A valid question.

      Before it used to be that a certain age range was only feasible to find a partner/mate. After that it used to be extremely difficult.

      But nowadays, due to high amount of divorces, it is easier to find such mate for companionship at any phase in life. Hence, people are not in hurry to do this. They try to accomplish life goals, until late in their lives.

      By then, people are used to being single, and learn to be content with being alone. Hence, it is nit necessary anymore to find such companionship.

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What Girls & Guys Said

05
  • You fail to understand... It's not a love life we're after, it's a sex life. I have fucked 17 women in the last 2 years. I love that fact! friends with benefits is an awesome lifestyle. I'm a fuckaholic. I fuck a lot of different women. Some repeatedly, others occasionally, some only once. But I always look to repeat and to find others.

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  • Times changed simple the reason for marriage matters less as women don't depend on males people don't tend to understand that marriage was not just about love back then it was used to ensure that women could get bye in a sexist world where they depended on a males income

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    • With females being able to be truly independent and sex no longer being connected to a thing you only do after marriage so comes a new culture of normality

    • Fair enough but I think having an emotional connection with one person who knows you well and sticks by you through thick and thin is romantic and nice. It's better than going through a succession of people you don't care about and to then end up alone in your old age. I know it doesn't always work out my way but I think you would feel empty and burnt out in the end by going through too many people.

  • Many people view marriage as an obselete tradition that serves no real purpose (im inclined to agree with them). Sex is fun, its healthy and there's no reason that love and sex have to be combined.

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  • Casual sex has always existed. It's not a new thing. There are still lots of people who want serious relationships, and have them, they aren't a thing of the past.

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  • because most (not all girls) are wayyyy to picky and have to high of standerds for people like me i get side lined if not friend zoned wayy to much cause iam overly nice and very intimate

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    • Don't be too nice - women like men to take charge and have boundaries otherwise they won't respect you. That's too bad though - you should be able to get women to like you for who you are and you shouldn't have to change. Having said that, are you choosing out of the ones who like you or trying to bat way out of your league?

    • i have chatted with a few but when they bring up sex and how open minded am i they ghost me

    • What is your response when they ask how open minded you are? If their values don't align with yours then they are not for you. Don't let other people use you until they find what they are looking for. Tell them to bugger off.

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