Most Helpful Guy
I'm sorry, but it seems like you are trying to tell him that you don't want to be happy, or to have a lover, you just want to be miserable.
I have no idea why you don't like yourself. Why you sabotage any chance of getting approval or appreciation. But it seems your thought pattern is to make sure you fail and get punished for being "not good enough".
I am not a therapist. I want to extend an invitation; message me if you want to exchange thoughts/ideas.
Most Helpful Girl
Do you really WANT to break up with him just because you think that he deserves someone better? For me, it normal for guys to look at those girls with hot body but at the end they will always look and love their partners. Well, it's your choice. Maybe you should start losing some weight for yourself and not for your boyfriend. I feel that he really loves you, you're lucky to have him.