Why does the fact that I have 2 kids put women off?

I'm dad to 2 kids now whenever I tell a woman that they go fuck that or the worst one oh that's nice then you never here from them again

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Most Helpful Girl

  • @JonnyTrauma people have preferences. I am a single parent. When I think of men who are single parents these things runs through my head: why isn't he with his family, how often is he with his children, how much time and effort is he putting towards them, is he committed to actually being a father, does he respect his ex even through all the BS. I don't think I would concern myself with whether or not he and the ex would get back together, or whether or not I am his first priority. I actually would be highly disappointed if he put me before his children because I would feel that he isn't really parenting well if that was the case (under reasonable circumstances). I'm sure men have the same thoughts about single parent moms too. The other thing is typically women are much more difficult to deal with then men. A single dad vs a single mom with baggage and baby parent drama, more likely the single dad will have baby mama issues that exceed what women are willing to put up with. Single moms normally have loser ex's who tend not to be involved at all, or very minimally. Not saying it can't happen the other way around, but females = drama all around.

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    • Very good point. Unfortunate that this makes it harder for good people in finding relationships. I used to think I wouldn't date someone with a kid for petty reasons, but now that I'm a little older I also realize that it forces people to be a bit more mature (hopefully) which is nice. Plus growing up with a caring step mom, I understand the kind of relationship some of these kids who happen to be caught up in it, would want out of it all too.

    • I tell women that yes I'm friends with my ex and that's better for my kids and I see my kids as much as possible and still do everything I can for them there's no drama between family. I hate deadbeat dad's I'm not one and would never leave my kids

Most Helpful Guy

  • Because it's drama. Kids often don't like step parents for a variety of reasons, kids often interfere with plans (One gets sick, babysitter cancels, etc). Also, a lot of people don't want to deal with the work that goes into raising children unless they're their own.

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    • I keep seeing the word drama popping up and there wouldn't be drama but no one give me the chance to prove it

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    • I have tried dating an older women but some then say I'm too young for them. I can't seem to win

    • That sucks. Well, the right woman is out there. Really she is. Can't make the wrong women into the right one.

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What Girls Said 17

  • Because women, for the most part, want to be the sole priority in a guy's life. My boyfriend has 3 kids. I know I am not priority 1. And I respect him for that. Takes the right woman to understand that, and she will most likely have a life of her own as well. Good you tell them straight up, and they tell you straight up. No wasted time that way!!

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    • Thank you for your opinion on the matter I just hope I can find that right woman

    • You are also nearly twice the age. Women you’re age expect children attached. No offence.

    • @Hidden_P - even back in the day that's how it was. you'd be amazed how many women, even my age, still have the same problems with it. age really is irrelevant in it. everyone has their own expectations regardless.

  • Ok here's the deal. When you get involved with a man who has lots of kids 2,3 & 4 you will eventually be forced and expected to take care of them, (if it gets serious) but will have no say so on how the child is raised. Because lets be honest young children and getting married you will play a job in their life. Secondly is the baby mama drama. With the majority of women jealous , women will avoid that at all costs. It also happens a lot then men will run bavk to their xs. Lastly, is the responsibility sometimes men have to pay out so much in child support that they are financially not well and have no ability to support a new wife n kids.. here's the thing you will find a few women with kids and some with no kids, bit eventually when someone falls in love with u it wwnt matter. Best of luck to u.

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  • Because kids often equal baby mama drama. Drama in general. I've dated a few men with kids, me and the kids always a terrific relationship which drove the Mama's insane... I was lucky to have good relationship with the kids but that's not often the case. Also you're still kind of young if these women are in their twenties they may not be ready any of the family stuff...

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  • Because baby mama drama. And if females can avoid that, they will.

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  • Your going after the wrong kinda woman. Ones who aren’t ready for kids
    Might help to seek one that has children’s of their own.

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  • What milestone can you give a new woman you haven't already done? You fell in love, likely lived together, maybe got married, did the whole pregnancy and babies thing, and seen kids grow from baby to whatever age they are now. Sure there are some women that won't mind, but most women want to experience the whole kids process with someone who is as new to it as they are. Who wants their baby growing up constantly compared to the offspring of some other woman? Mostly the only kind of woman who can add to you life in a parental way is one who is ready to have kids ASAP or already does, and are YOU ready for that kind of commitment? I don't know where you are searching, online or at bars or whatever, but these are not the kind of people looking to make those sorts of decisions upfront.

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  • Some girls are self centered and some just aren’t ready for that life yet. It all really depends on the woman

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  • Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm not sure but it shouldn't and if it does then I have to say that's pretty lame :( .

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    • It does seem that some women say they want a nice guy but when I describe it's all great Until I say I have 2 kids. If a guy was to do this that would be a dick move

  • Because it means she has to share your time with your kids. Also, some women don't like children and don't want to be with them at all.

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  • Sometimes it's better to look/date someone who already has kids because you both know what you're getting into and also you both understand and will value time spent with each other and who comes first in each other's lives which, is your children. For some odd reason, guys aren't as bad with girls having kids as girls are with guys who have kids.. some girls want the full attention on them and all the love. Girls aren't good at sharing. Either that or they are still immature and you need to find a woman who understands the meaning of relationships, with or without kids.

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  • Well , some women want a partner but don't want to deal with kids just yet especially if they don't have their own... which is fair enough, you need to be ready and willing to be a step parent

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  • Tbh I don't know. I've dated a guy who had a child and I didn't have a problem with it so I don't know.

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  • I don't know but that is stupid for a woman to do that they should instead be supportive and loving and respecting etc

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  • Because you come with a heavy baggage of ex wife plus 2 potential new sons the girl didn't ask for

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  • Do you dayecwomen with children?

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    • I would date a woman with kids

    • Good. At least you aren’t two faced.

      It depends on the woman, their age, and their past. Some women, especially when first dating, might not disclose their failure to bare children and the fact you have them might be a huge upset.

      Some women may fear the ex, after all she will still be in your life.

      Some women don’t like kids.

      It’s like asking why a man runs off. Same questions run through heads.

  • Some people just don't like dealing with kids.

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  • Im not sure that strange

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What Guys Said 29

  • You just aren't going for the right people, if someone doesn't accept the fact that you have two kids when dating it's either because they aren't looking for a lot of commitment or they are just flat out not caring and good people, and you shouldn't waste your time on those assholes

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  • I wouldn’t want a woman whit a kid because it’s not my kid specially if they are under 15 . I just don’t want to take care of someone else’s kids so you’re better off either finding a woman who doesn’t care and still loves you or finding a woman whit a kid as well

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  • Hey I'd just look at it as dodging a bullet with them. You and your kid don't need them just as much as they say they don't need that. Like others suggested, try with someone who has a kid too, they'll be more understanding of it.

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  • Given the alternative of finding a man without kids that won't take up his time, a girl will always go for him over one that has family commitments. Plus if they want kids down the road, they want the man to share that special "first child moment" with them. They don't want to be the only one going through that first moment, especially as without that, it'll remind her that you had that special moment with another woman.

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  • Of course. Nobody wants to be second fiddle. And they will ALWAYS be well down the ladder of importance in your house with 2 kids. Plus, stepping has to be THE WORST. You never have final say, no matter what you do or what effort, it is never properly appreciated, by any of you, and if their mom is around there will always be drama.
    You're gonna hear, 'no thanks' unless they're just pure naive or too dumb to get it.

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  • Because people in general prefer to avoid unnecessary drama in their lives.

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    • Yeah. But in most women's idea of what their lives will be like, marrying a man that has kids/already been married/etc does not play into their childhood fantasies. But those are also the women that will marry the first man that asks her so she can have her fantasy. Wait for a real woman. They are out there, just might take time to find her.

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    • All girls want to meet a man get married have children after that but not before

    • @Iamagoodguy You are 15, so I am going to be nice here, but no. that is not accurate.

  • Because people want to raise their own kids not someone else's. Plus you will probably love your children more than her for the rest of your life.

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  • Because they are another women's kids and will remind her of that when they are around and you will have to have their mother in their lives. (Baby momma drama)

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  • I think it's because they may be thinking that you may go back to the kids mom. I am a single father with my kids and it seems impossible to get a woman.

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    • There's no chance of me ever going back to my ex. It's typical how some women say they want a nice guy a family that's great then you tell them that you have 2 kids.

    • You know that can sometimes be a possibility. But most people have baggage these days. Anyone worth your time will understand and appreciate you for the experiences and life lessons you have experienced. Just as long as you are respectful, communicate, and give it an honest shot, the right person is out there for you. Be patient!

  • A lot of people, especially young people, don't want the extra baggage.

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  • Baggage, your ruining there Nicolas Sparks princess fantasies and throwing something all too real in there face.

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  • Because they don't want the burden of looking after someone else's kids.

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  • Wow! I just learned a fuckload reading the responses! It's a lot different when a guy dates a woman with kids. Holy shit!

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  • That's probably just the excuse they use because it's common. But judging by your pic, you may be the c. l. killer type

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  • Because they think that you don't understand birth control and maybe they don't want you in their lives forever.

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  • Some people just hate kids. And their dumb little faces...

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  • Because you are as stupid as the women who you impregnated.

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  • It's a shame I know it happens a lot to a few of my family members. I think it's just the fear of committing to the dynamic as an outsider

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  • It doesn't. Those weren't women they were little girl with narrow minds. Well that's what my mother once said to my step-father.

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  • Because they scared of you having a third and them being the mother of them

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