Ladies, what can I do to be more attractive?

I have been spending the past 3 years really struggling to work on myself. I was 330lbs, smoker, heavy drinker, dipped, and I was an extremely angry person. I hated everyone and didn't see a point in trying to play friends with anyone. This was mostly because of my messed up family and the way people treated me in highschool. I was really just lonely and I didn't know how to deal with it. I decided to change when I met a girl and fell in love instantly. For 2 years I worked out everyday, got my diet in check, learned to cook, quit my IT job for a career in healthcare, started nursing school, lost 150 lbs, started martial arts training, and quit smoking, drinking, and dip. I even bleached my teeth to undo the damage from smoking. Unfortunately the woman I fell in love with rejected me and in a pretty immature and disrespectful way. I admit that changing myself for someone like that was a horrible idea, but I'm glad it happened. I'm over her and I've moved on. I still seem to be struggling though. No one seems to have any interest in me for one reason or another. Becuse I'm still a little overweight (still working out and dieting everyday), or because I'm bald, or too short (5'7"). I really don't know what it is that I'm doing wrong. Everyone seems like they want to play games or hookup and I'm not looking for that. I want a family and I'm looking for the real deal, but I've never even had a girlfriend. I know I'm not a terrible looking guy and I've held off from sex because I want a meaningful relationship and a way to prove myself to someone. So, I need help. I need to know what I could be doing wrong or what I haven't improved on yet. Thanks for the help.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think there's nothing to improve you. You're such a great guy! Maybe those girls don't see how great a guy you are. Maybe in the future, there will be one girl who will see your worth.

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  • Get into a hobby or a religion or a sport. That or just go into some kind of interest in a subject and enroll in a class or two to meet people who have the same mind set as you and care for the same things as you. Once you find something you have in common you can bond over that. You can bond over the smallest things when you sit with someone in a class day after day for a year or two, it can be that you both know the same people or know the same teacher and you can talk about where you both like to go in the city and what hobbies/music/movies you both like. Just have to put yourself out there. good luck

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    • I feel like I out myself out there a lot. I'm not shy about asking women out. I usually do it face to face and tell them that I think they're beautiful or really sweet and I would really like to get to know them, but it just never works out. Maybe I'll start considering something I never thought of before. Thanks for the advice.

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    • I mean, you kind of need to build that base for feeling like you two really "know" each other, and feel comfortable with one another to continue the relationship. I mean, it doesn't have to be that "slow". I made my intentions clear with him when I asked him if he was single, but after that it was more of "who are you...", like what have you been up to, and what is your life life... kind of things before rushing to "do you like me?" "do you see a future with me as your girlfriend/boyfriend". I hope this helps. Good luck

    • Thanks for the help.

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