Do guys actually hate "taking things slow" in a relationship?

I grew up with the idea that you should get to know the other person for a while before you get physical. But whenever I tell a guy that the say it's fine and that they're ok with it 2-3 dates later they wanna make out in the back of the car and when I say no I never hear from the guy.

Is my thinking just old fashioned or what?
  • Old fashioned
    Vote A
  • Reasonable
    Vote B
  • Just got abad batch of guys
    Vote C
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1545

Most Helpful Guy

  • If he cares for you, he will respect you and your believes. I personally tell my girls , be friends for about several months. Opserve him. See if he goes after other girls too. If it's you he cares for, he will stick with you only.

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    • That's what my parents have always told me! It just seems like guys now don't want to have to wait.

    • Sorry you are on the road to getting hurt. It's up to you. Your parents are your best friends. They are the only ones who care about you. Do not be in a hurry to find someone who cares for you. I wish I could tell you when that person will show up at your door. Besides. I've seen people married for 30 years and the man has Left his wife for some one else. Stupid.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1544
  • If you want a guy go to a place where you can meet guys. The problem isn't you or them - the problem is where you are meeting or how you are meeting these guys.

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  • Taking things slow... believe it or not, it feels like I’m the one who tries to slow things down, are their girls still out there who want to take things slow, I think if a girl feels comfortable, expressing how she feels won’t make a guy judge her, when she feels connected to the point that expression of her feels is secure with him, maybe then, it doesn’t matter how fast or slow things go

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  • Just because you say it, many guys think they can convert it to not taking it slow. Good for you for sticking to your guns on it. Any guy that really likes you and plans on being around for a long time will wait, even if they do try to change it a time or two.

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  • Some guys actually think that because they put effort into seeing you that you owe them some sort of sexual favour. Lots of guys aren't like that but I mean in my experience guys don't put a lot of effort into getting girls, they are much more happier to see the girls who will sleep with them or touch them straight away because they are instantly satisfied

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  • I wouldn't let it get to you. Maybe make sure when you tell them that they aren't doing anything wrong but just wanting to take things slow. Some guys need reassurance knowing after a couple of dates that the reason they aren't getting any hanky panky is cause you aren't interested really.

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  • I think it's good to take it slow because if you move fast, what's there to look forward to further down in relationship. Plus there's infatuation as well, that needs time to die down in order for you to find out if you're truly interested.

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  • Its resonable. But at the same time. Some people are fast , some slower.

    by the way. My parents met 18 years ago in a club and after 6 months they married. But. They divorced when I was 8. Thats an example what happens if you go too fast.

    If you are too slow. you'll end like my neighbor , who is a 60 years old virgin female who waits a rich as hell men to marry her (😂😂😂😂😂).

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  • If you're not ready ofc you should wait. A relationship goes both ways. If the guy thinks more about himself and not you well dump his sorry ass. This is about respecting your decision as a person and as the other part of the relationship you are both trying to create

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  • Some guys don't like taking it slow, because they are in it for the pussy. The relationship is secondary. You can guess how those relationships tend to go, in general. There are plenty of guys who are willing to take it slower, to get to know the girl first.

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  • I don't do relationships. I don't take a woman serious enough in this culture to waste the time. If she wants it great, but I don't have patience for much else.

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  • In my opinion, sex can wait. For months so. Then again, a woman's kiss tells me more about how she feels about me than anything else. If I haven't kissed someone after max 4 encounters, I will persue her only as a friend.

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  • I chose old fashioned but i would describe it more as ignorant (no disrespect). There isn't always a mathematical formula that you should follow, what you should do instead is just whatever feels right to you. You won't get as close as you were with tom as fast as you will with alex. All relationships are different, they take different courses, they go different speeds. They are different math problems. So just dont use the same formula over and over. Do whatever fits the relationship best.

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  • Always been if there's a mutual spark
    then 2-3 dates gets nude & even sex of some sort
    Best was HF on 1st date ooohlala and I got to know her much better that summer... if only she hadn't been a liar and trying to get preg...

    For guys it's all fun & games and few smart enough to prevent preg
    so if you ever get tempted into sex after 2-3, double/triple anti-pregs in place in case one fails... and you never see him again

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  • I dont hate taking it slow, i hate placing arbitrary time limits on stuff. Like the, no kissing until 2nd date, no sex till 5th, etc.. That just tells me she doesn't trust herself and probably isn't ready for a serious relationship. There shouldn't be a stigma on what someone can or can't do when or how often they want, if you're both adults just do what you're comfortable with.

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  • i guess it depends what you consider taking things slow. i tended to wait at the very least several weeks before being sexual.

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  • It depends on what kind of relationship you are looking for with that person and what kind of reaction you get from that person when they find out you are interested. But in my opinion I usually keep my foot on the brakes until I find out that there is no need.

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  • It's a little dated but that's a perfect example tho. Since you weren't going to give it to him so easy like lots of women these days, he didn't wanna stick around and work for it. 🖕🏾Him for that tho.

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  • It's reasonable. One of the reasons guys are going faster now isn't because of the guys. Women have changed the game and are now having sex more during the first few days than in the past.

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  • If they hate it, they can find someone else. Don't do something you're not comfortable with just to please a guy.

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  • It's reasonable because physical attention is not necessary in the beginning of a relationship. Yes there is a chance that both are infatuated by each other and it could happen, but not every relationship shall follow lead. Also, it's respectful to understand each other when it comes to these things. I guess it shows the intentions of the other party if they no longer show interest.

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  • Depends on what you want. If you want to find a guy who is crushing so hard on you and possesses sufficient maturity/patience to wait, then you may be successful in the long run.

    But it may be a while. You're putting a high "price" on yourself when you do that. So some "shoppers" will look for "cheaper" women.

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  • It depends at what point in their life the guy is at the time. If he's ready for something meaningful, monogamous and serious he won't mind. But if he's not looking for the same thing as you are (which is obviously a more serious and committed relationship) he's not going to want to wait.

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  • It's all about your personal preference, if you don't want to be physical and the other party does, talk to them about it and if they don't like it, then you'll just have to find someone who's old fashioned as well, nothing wrong with it

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  • Seems like your standards are different from what other people think. You're obviously not dating shy or polite guys either.

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  • That's reasonable, but so is wanting to make out after the 3rd date. You just need to be on the same page. And most guys, your age or older aren't going to be satisfied with a peck on the cheek after the 3rd date.

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  • Sounds like most of these guys were just bad eggs. Sad thing is that at your age, most guys just want to mess around and not commit. You’ll find one some day, I sure did

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  • Patience is key to trust which is key to love. If he can't handle taking things slow how about when things are on the high road and at the peak of the relationship.

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  • The guy won't get upset at you and tell you it's ok but guys date to get laid and if you don't put out they don't want to waste time money and effort if they can get it elsewhere.

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  • They're not on the same page as you are, they think sex comes before love and you'd better avoid them

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  • You gotta give me something. If I'm into you I'll go with it, but please just let me get some titty or grab some ass. Please, I'm dying here.

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  • It's up to the person, make sure they know you want to take it slow, if they cannot respect that they do not deserve you.

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  • The ones who hate taking it slow are the ones who just want to get laid as fast as possible. For whatever reason, people now a days think once you reach the 3rd date, sex must happen or that person isn't into you. But when it comes to commitment and a actual relationship, that's all of sudden to fast and they want to take it slow. Those guys just wanted sex, their okay with the wait cause they think its going to happen soon but when it doesn't their gone. Just f*ckboys you've been dodging thankfully.

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  • I missed things to go slowly in my old relationship. It really depends 🙂

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  • I like to go as fast and as slow as we both feel comfortable

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  • I wouldn't mind taking things slow
    IF
    I knew that the woman is going to be honest with me. If I knew that she's not fucking or dating 3 other guys at the same time and that we're playing a honest game of starting something. Because yes, I am insecure and little successful, and honest. And yes, I'm pissed off by the notion of shit tests, and by the gigantic imbalance of power in dating.

    So, being virtuous in taking things slow only if she is virtuous in honesty of the relationship. If she wants to dupe me and accrue unfair advantages, then it's a very unhealthy start and it's a pretty bad omen of things to come.

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  • I got head on my first date ever and I've continued this with other girls. So it's not uncommon to do stuff like that anymore.

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  • Feel his cock after ten minutes to see whether you are making an impression.

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  • men hate taking things slow in matter of Sex.. apart form them keep everything fast

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  • It depends of you way of behave and the idea you are passing to guys

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  • Some guys are just straight up douche bags and make all guys seem shitty but I'm not a fucking douche

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  • Im somewhere in the middle. Im willing to wait a bit but prefer to move faster.

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  • As long as there is interest in taking things further I can wait till my partner is ready 😂

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  • I think we all have different experiences for taking it slow from kissing to straigh up sex

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  • I'm fine with that. Just need to communicate that's all so both knows what they are into

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  • Everyone is different. Guys can't all be boxed as one

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  • It is okay to take, it, slow. Gives you a stringer relationship

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  • depends, I like to kiss on the first date and start touching on the third on average

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  • Every guy is different

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    • No sex for a month. If he's still around then he's not a player

  • different priorities

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  • I'd prefer to wait for marriage.

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