How do I hold off my bf?

My boyfriend keeps wanting physical stuff to try. How do I put him off since I am not ready?

0|0
13

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah. Had a boyfriend like that once. It's not that he was a 'bad'/rape-y guy; he wasn't picking up the non-verbal cues (I'm guessing you haven't told him specifically it's going to be a hard 'no'; or maybe you have a certain 'level' of physical activity that you're comfortable at... Intimacy isn't binary after all.) What worked for me, was physically taking his hand in mine (and/or pushing myself away from whatever else was making me uncomfortable) when it was happening, looking into his eyes and concernedly but gently saying, "hey, what's up with you, babe?". It threw him. Then I followed up with questions. "Why are you acting (grabby)?" I got him to tell me explicitly what he thought was going to happen, then I told him what my "comfort" level was physically. He told me why he thought things were going to go further and told him what some of the 'non-verbal' signs I was giving off and what I was thinking at the time. We laughed a bit at the misunderstanding, and I think it helped our communication better. We talked about the pressure he was under around his friends to 'do it already'. We talked about what I needed to feel comfortable 'getting there'. Again, this is just an anecdote. It might not be what's going on with him. And if he doesn't stop when you show concern or when you try to push him away for a conversation... yeah. A hard stop is the way to go.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • If he won’t listen to you when you say no, just get the fuck out of there already.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

02
  • You tell him straight up. If he can't handle that, he's not the right guy for you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Communication. You tell him and if he can’t respect that them tell him you’re done.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...