How do I get this guy to respect me?


I already know I’m going to get a ton of hate and negativity and people calling me a dumbass so listen, I don’t care. I know what I’ve done wrong. We all make mistakes. If you’re gonna be negative and not any help I will block you so quick, so don’t waste your time please and thank you!!!

So I used to talk to this guy back last July and we’ve been on one date. We both got busy after that and stopped talking and then recently reconnected. So as some people do we sent nudes to each other on snapchat and sexted and talked about hooking up. It’s what I wanted at the time and if you think I’m a hoe or whatever for that, it’s fine. It’s not like I do it often I mean if we’re being honest I’ve hardly hooked up w a lot of guys I mean I could count on one hand the number of guys I have since high school. And it’s always been guys I’ve dated. So it’s never really been a random hook up, that’s kinda weird to me. But I know this guy pretty well, he actually ASKED to meet my parents on the first date and my parents loved him. That’s crazy, right? Like he seemed like he was really REALLY serious about a relationship and we kinda just both got really busy and stopped talking for no reason. I’ve just realized like damn I’ve fucked up sending him nudes and saying I wanna hook up w him because now he’s lost all respect for me and he’s gonna see me as no more than a hookup. It’s my fault for ever sending him nudes, I mean I did it first.

How do I fix this? Is there anything I could say to make him respect me or is that all gone down the drain now? I mean not gonna lie I still kinda wanna hook up w him but if that happens do you think he will never consider more? Like will I always just be an fwb? I know all guys are different. Should I maybe just ask him like hey so are you only looking to hook up or what? I know I seem like an idiot here please don’t try to tear me down in the comments.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell him straight up like "hey letting you know that I saw you differently. I may have came off as just some hook up type of chick at the beginning but I actually really really liked you jsyk." And then leave the ball in his court. Don't beat yourself up over it if he doesn't feel the same. Just maybe lay off sending nudes from the get go and save it for relationship material guys after you're in one with them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say just talk to him. Tell him you're still very into him and want something. Hooking up with him if you've already kinda dated shouldn't deter him?

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What Girls & Guys Said

19
  • You can start by pushing him away and work on yourself. Let her see the better you. Show him you've changed, not tell him. A man wants commitment, not instant gratification.

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  • Girl... I don't know what to say? I can start at the top
    1. Where is my pic?
    2. You know he's shown at least one friend.
    3. Your only 20 .
    4. You sent pictures first.
    5. He's feeling good about himself... Your chasing him!
    6. This is it , take it or leave it.

    When your on thin ice , you might as well dance !
    Go straight at it. Ask him out , let him know he makes you wet. What have you got to loose? Practice safe sex.

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    • 1. Ha 2. He’s 24 years old, not in high school. 3. I know that. 4. Yes? 5. Maybe. I don’t always reply to him though. You’re right though. I told him I wanted a relationship and said we should go out soon and he agreed so it’s all good (: was stressing over nothing

    • Adda girl... straight forward is sexy.

  • First: how do you know he lost respect for you? Did he tell you or anything?

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  • Not really... You set the tone for the relationship by sending him nudes early on

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  • Nothing wrong with being up front and asking

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    • I just did! I’m nervous!!

    • So he said he wants that too and I said we should go out and he agreed lmao I wish I just asked this like a week or two ago smh. Thanks so much for your help!!!

  • Just block me already

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  • You wrote to much sorry my brain hurts now

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  • Stand in front of mirror see if it breaks.

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  • Tell him that you want a relationship with him

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  • To get anyone to respect you is very simple. You simply learn to respect yourself. This means creating boundaries and enforcing them even if you feel you will lose out. It means knowing what you want, why you want it, and whether what you want comes from a place of wisdom (higher self), or a place of foolishness (lower self).

    We cannot change how others act, we can only change how we act. One of the most important aspects of self respect is self honesty. Learning to be brutally honest with ourselves without allowing our own self defense mechanisms to fool us, and tell us what we want to hear from ourselves.

    You are placing so much emphasis on external respect, that perhaps you've forgotten where it comes from... internally. I'd suggest that you take a look around at how most others your age are acting, then ask yourself whether it has made them happy, content, flourishing, or empty and dissatisfied.

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