Is my girlfriend cheating?

So to start with, I've been dating this girl for only around two months now. She is quite a flirt, and openly admits it. She tells me honestly about how she flirts with other guys, but as far as I can tell she doesn't do anything more than flirt or have any desire to do anything more than flirt. She genuinely just seems to enjoy teasing people. She knows how jealous I can be and tends to avoid giving me any details about it as a result, not that I particularly want to know how she flirts with other men. I've been cheated on a lot in the past and am having troubles trusting her, but whenever we talk, I can't help but feel like she wouldn't cheat on me. Yet I continue to worry whenever I find myself alone. I found out that she even flirts with her exs, so I asked her to stop that since it seems dangerous to our relationship, but she got sad about it so I ended up telling her it's fine if she does. So my question is, what do you think about her flirting with other people? Do you think she's cheating or planning on cheating? Do you think it's just harmless flirting? I'd like different perspectives on this.
  • She's cheating on you.
    Vote A
  • She isn't cheating, stay with her!
    Vote B
  • She isn't cheating, but flirting isn't okay.
    Vote C
  • Other/see results.
    Vote D
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45

Most Helpful Girl

  • You gave her permission to flirt? Wow how generous of you. It is entirely up to HER if she wants to flirt or not, she does not need permission. Just as she can wear the clothes she likes, laugh, frown, giggle or whatever else she fancies because she is her own person. Even if you were living together and/or married and properly together it is up to her! You are simply showing everyone that you lack confidence when you make an issue out of it, and that is your real problem. She is just being herself. You need to grow up before she gets fed up with your comments and finds a man who is not so hung up on it.

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    • Yeah, I gave her permission to flirt. I could tell her not to and she would most likely listen to me since she tends to be very submissive. She could continue even after agreeing not to, but then she'd be quite dishonest and I'd leave her if I found out. Yes, I do have a bit of a lack of confidence, I've been working on improving it for quite a while though. I can understand your point at the end, but I don't get hung up on it, I've brought it up a couple of times but the only time I asked her not to was with people she's dated before.

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    • @Truthatanycost

      In other words, she is telling the asker to just accept, without reservations, that his girlfriend is suggesting to other men that she might be available, or he is controlling and pathetic loser.

    • @Leo999 Yep, and unfortunately this is exactly what many men are doing today. Some of them are afraid to have standards, and I've even been challenged by other ''men'' for enforcing the most basic standards when it comes to women.

      The comment from bethshepherd comes from a place of unconsciousness and the lower self. She's forgotten that all of us are humans. If her advice came from a place of love, it would have created an uplifting energy. However, when we are unconscious, this can become one of the greatest ways to become the complete opposite.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Your problem is that you are treating a girl that is clearly NOT girlfriend material, as if she is. You've simply acquired a partner that follows the same patterns from the ones you had in the past that cheated.

    You are wasting emotional energy on a girl that is not to be trusted. What bethshepherd said is correct, the girl can do what ever she pleases, just as you can (and should) decide to not go anywhere near girls like that.

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    • Probably am wasting emotional energy. I really want to give her a chance to prove you wrong though, and prove me wrong as well. Maybe I'm just being naive, but I want to believe flirting is all it is. I'm not trusting enough to assume she isn't cheating, after my past relationships I pretty much constantly assume I am being cheated on and watch for signs of it. That said our relationship is long distance, so it's near impossible to be certain unless she admits something to me.

    • So not only are you with a flirt, you are with one in long distance. You could have met a girl that was local and who did not flirt, but instead you end up with the opposite. Ask yourself why.

      Flirting is the foundation of everything that may come later and is very effective when you know what you are doing. Even I'm careful because of how effective it is and I'm single!

    • I could have, but that would require me to meet someone local that I wanted a relationship with, something that doesn't tend to happen much unfortunately. Ask myself why? I'd say because I already really like her.

      I think I'd say attraction is the foundation not flirting, but that's just semantics. I am going to try to get her to stop flirting with other guys, but I don't know if I have it in me to give up until I've seen this through to the bitter end, I like her too much to leave her based on the suspicion that she could be cheating.

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What Girls & Guys Said

34
  • To me flirting alone is cheating. Of course that's not how you see it. You won't really know for sure whether she's cheating or not but I can clearly see you do have a problem with her flirting. And her being sad cuz she can't flirt and you letting her flirt with her exes - that just gives her an impression that you have a weak personality if you let her do it. Which means she might not mind going further if she knows you'll forgive her the moment she pretends to be sad.

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    • If she tries it, she'll find I lack compassion for cheaters. I think I've made it clear to her that I dislike cheating, but regardless, our relationship would end immediately. Cheating is a line that you don't cross in my opinion, I don't think I could ever trust someone who cheated on me again. I do have a bit of a problem with it, I trust her, she really doesn't seem like the type to cheat, but I also worry about what could come of her cheating, like guys thinking she likes them and trying something.

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    • You're right, thank you. I think I'm going to set some boundaries, I was starting to want to flirt with other girls just to see how she would react, but I'm not petty enough to do that.

    • Yeah getting revenge or making the other person jealous are just a waste of time and not something you would want to do if you want a healthy relationship.
      I wish you all the best

  • Ask her whether you can flirt with other guys. If she say yes, smtg is wrong in this rs. If no, then tell her think its fair she flirt with other guys?

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  • I personally say if you are in a relationship you should realize that you are not single anymore and that flirting with other people is not okay. Especially with ex's. It is basic respect. Your partner is the person you flirt with -not another girl or guy. If you feel the need to seek attention outside of your relationship it may be time to ask yourself why you are even in a relationship in the first place if you are just gonna keep acting single and flirting with every guy you see or cross paths with.

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  • Don't be with any woman who does shit that makes you feel uncomfortable. Best case scenario is she is an attention whore. In all likelihood though she is just a whore.

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  • I'd dump her. She's not being considerate at all to you and such flirting is not respectful to you. She's an attention whore at least.

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  • im sry but i think she just wants to seek attention

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  • Sometimes it's just part of their nature.

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