My boyfriend (37) and I (23) have been together for 6 months now and have moved in together. (We are actually moving away to Germany, where he is from). The relationship is serious and we have even talked marriage. I love him so much and he is (despite a huge age gap) the most amazing man I have ever met. He treats me so well and shows me love constantly. I know the age gap might be freaking you guys out but I honestly don't think it matters if two consenting people of age love each other. (I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong lmao)
Anyway, he has been married once before and has now been divorced for about a year. He is still in contact with his ex wife (which I'm totally ok with) because they have a house up North that needs to sell. We live quite far away and he never sees her. He claims he has no feelings whatsoever for her and I believe him BUT he will not tell her about me when they talk. He says it's just an uncomfortable conversation that he doesn't want to have. Honestly, it kind of hurts me and I've expressed that to him many times but it doesn't change anything. I have left it alone and want him to tell her in his own time (not being forced by me or some shit) but it still bothers me.
Am I wrong to feel this way? What should I do? Part of me feels that he is more worried about his ex's feelings than mine but part of me sees him as such a wonderful guy so it doesn't add up. He is very trustworthy.
I really appreciate everyone's inputs.
Thanks so much!
Most Helpful Guy
I don't understand why you need his ex to know he found someone else, the implication is that it's serious because why would he bother talking about a casual thing. So again what's your vested interest in her life? If he's taking you to GM, talking about marriage, he's obviously very committed. Maybe you think if he's not telling her it's like he's leaving that option open in case she gives him a hint to come back? If that were the case him telling her he's with someone is more likely to pique her interest (some psychology about a guy or girl being more interesting when others are interested) I think your best bet here is to force it to the back of your mind and trust that the more and more you are with him, the more time that goes by,... she will matter less for both of you. Good luck3THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
If you’re not concerned about the trust factor why does it matter? What’s wrong with him not wanting to hurt her feelings if he thinks she would be hurt by them, or it could make things difficult for him if her hurt feelings affect her willingness to sell the property?3THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE