How expensive does a FIRST DATE have to get before you insist on SPLITTING the bill?

How expensive does a FIRST DATE have to get before you insist on SPLITTING the bill?
  • Over 30 dollars
    Vote A
  • Over 50 dollars
    Vote B
  • Over 80 dollars
    Vote C
  • The man should pay no matter how expensive
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
TO CLARIFY.. The DATE started on the cheap. You guys decided together to keep the date going and grab dinner and more drinks. The bill at the end is much higher than anybody thought. Do you offer to split the bill? How much does it have to be for you to make that offer?

2|0
2739

Most Helpful Girls

  • Sounds like a first date of a lifetime. So busy having fun that we both lose track of time and obviously how much the bill has come too. If I ever had a date like that, I would fucking pay the whole thing. Give him a kiss at the end of the night and say, next one is on you. Call me. That's how you handle that!

    1|5
    0|0
  • I feel like the depends. Personally I feel that guy should pay for the first date but that's because I'm almost always asked out, I really never have asked a guy out.
    I'm ok with a first date being coffee or something inexpensive. If he wants me to split that, ok I guess.
    But if HE chooses a more expensive first date that is on him. I always make sure I'm able to cover my half should it come to that but I feel if I guy is trying to impress me that way when I was ok with something cheap then he should pay. I shouldn't have to pay for him trying to over do it.

    1|1
    0|2
    • Lol at the blue downvotes. 😂
      To your update, that being the situation I'd offer. i don't know that I'd be overjoyed if he accepted my offer though, but at the same time I'm not about to drink more than a couple drinks. No one likes a sloppy date that turns into babysitting. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • Cool.. thanks for the comment!

Most Helpful Guys

  • If I ask a woman on a date, I assume that I am paying the entire bill for everything. I would not let the bill go beyond what I can afford. I never go on a date without being prepared to spend at least $100 and I would be prepared to spend $200 on a first date.

    Most of my dates include a nice dinner and a few drinks afterwards: $75-100.

    0|3
    0|0
  • You mean the man should insist on the woman paying for her share when the bill became too much? Or you mean when should the woman insist on paying her share because she feels guilty the bill got so high?

    Tradition would dictate that the man would pay the bill. But at the same time he should be choose which location to invite her out to, whether or not to order a bottle of wine and how expensive a wine it should be (since that's the photo you picked), and whether or not to order a dessert for each of you, one dessert to share, or no dessert at all. Generally most meals are within a reasonable price range, and the man should know if the menu has a crazy expensive outlier like lobster or filet mignon or whatever. It's your money, do the research.

    Feminism (the equality kind) would dictate both people pay their share of what they ate regardless of which date it was. Whoever did the asking out - could be the man or the woman - should also ask for input on locations, but otherwise the asker would pick the location.

    So hopefully the man knows enough about the woman he's asking out (besides her looks) to tell whether she prefers the traditional or the feministic (equal) approach, and will consider restaurant choices based on the general price range they can afford, the input of the woman he asked, and whether or not he can hope for her help with her part of the check in the case of a feministic (equal) approach.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well so far almost every answer is based on logic yours included. Very sterilized.. very clinical approaches. Why can't two people have the night of their life on a first date. A date so awesome that they lose track of time, track of the bill, etc. Two people who just had a great time and they end up with a bill that directly coincides with that great time. Both realize what has just gone down.. the bill is high. Does either of them insist on splitting the bill or is it just always left up to the guy? That is what I am really trying to get at.. that is also why I updated the question. Thanks for your input and comment.

    • Well that's probably because a lot of factors go into it based on what they believe, personal financial situation, and the actual bill.

      For example, if your guy believes heavily in a gentlemanly value system, he won't let her pay the bill under any circumstance.

      Or if your woman was strongly into third-wave feminism, she would expect to pay her half and if he didn't allow her to, he'd never see a second date or even get to take her home.

      And if these two were in the date together, they'd fight over it until they couldn't stand eachother despite the awesome night, and the waiter would get a 50% tip - because he'd pay 100% and she'd leave her 50% on the table out of spite.

      So that's why it has to be clinical here, because it covers the issue from every side, and hopefully avoids an argument with someone here on G@G who holds different beliefs.

    • Everyone will have different opinions. I am thankful for all of them and yours.

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 25

  • I'd insist on splitting even if the bill was less than 30 dollars. Especially on first dates I see no reason for one person to pay the whole bill. Taking turns paying comes to play after two or three dates, I'll always split the bill before that.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I salute you. But I'll still offer if it's under like 40 bucks. And gladly accept if the other person offers to split it.

    • why can't every woman be like you?

  • I want to split the bill anyway no matter the cost because that's just my thing. Splitting the bill makes me feel like I have control during the date and it's an equal playing field between me and the date and I won't owe him/her anything (sex or whatever) that I'm not comfortable with

    0|1
    0|0
  • I split the bill at any cost- of we go on for me drinks- do it in rounds rather than one person all the time.

    The hundred percent only time I won't be eager to split the bill, is if they are rude/disrespectful - I've only walked off from a date once, and I told him I was going, and I still put the money for my coffee down and left- don't owe him anything then!

    0|2
    0|0
  • I want a cheap first date. First, because I don't know know you and splitting the bill may not be worth it. But for sure I do not wanna feel obligated to the guy because he offered to pay for an expensive first date. Keep it simple.

    And more likely than not if I know it’d be expensive I’d turn it down outright.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Nice update and good question.

      For me, I don’t drink so staying at the restaurant or whatever it is would be a non starter cuz I just can’t eat all night. But in the event we chose to go to some activity after dinner I’d likely pay for my part anyways.

      Though I’m 99.9999% certain that I wouldn’t continue the date even if I liked the guy.

  • a first date doesn't have to be expensive. And I strongly believe who asks first should pay out of politeness, I asked my boyfriend out first so I payed. Asking someone out first then expecting them to pay is rude to me, you asked that person to be your guest so the least you can do is pay.

    2|1
    0|1
    • I like that rule but for myself I expect nothing from the other person. And I would always offer to pay my own part. Except it they insist that we go to a expensive thing that I can't afford.

  • I won't let him pay for me on the first date. I won't pay for him on the first date.

    On the off chance there's no chemistry, or someone has a horrible time, I don't want either of us to feel obligated to do anything we're not comfortable with, so I insist that for the first few dates, each pays their own.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Who ordered, who choose the venue.. all comes into it..
    If yo uask a chick out,, to a flash place.. and she would have been happy with a packed lunch in the park it's hardly fair is it?

    1|0
    0|0
    • You are 16 so you wouldn't understand. I know that sounds cliche but you wouldn't be on a date where you are having adult beverages which can add up fast.. things can add up in a pub.. doesn't have to be fancy restaurant. If you both are having a good time and are 4 glasses of wine in and decide to get some food.. you could be looking at 60 bucks or more.. it happens all the time... so in your case if you were over 21 and saw the bill creep up because THE BOTH OF YOU were having a good time.. would you say hey let's split this? or just leave it up to him to pay?

    • Show All
    • The answer to the overall question above? 'Would you ever insist on splitting the bill? If so how much would it have to be to do so?

    • From a position of having to pay all.. or from having to pay none..
      Was what I was thinking...
      Riiiight...
      I would want to anyway...

  • I think the guy should pay for 1st date tbh but i wouldn't want it too expensive coz its just a 1st date and i dont know how its going to end so i am usually ok with meeting at starbucks or some other place instead of an expensive restaurant

    1|2
    3|6
  • I'd honestly just pay for what I wanted. If I buy like a $50 steak or something, and you buy a $10 meal, I'm sure the other person doesn't want to split for how much I buy. I know it's supposed to be tradition or whatever that the man pays, but I don't believe in that. I either feel obligated or I'd feel used if I had to be the one paying.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I usally do expect the guy to pay if he asked me out, just as I would expect to pay if going out was my idea. I grew up with a mom who fought to pay the bill and a dad who swore to never have the woman pay 😂 so I just made my own rule. The person who pays get to choose where to eat and all that stuff.

    1|0
    0|1
  • Show more from Girls
    15

What Guys Said 37

  • You know, this question did not interest me in its original form so I wasn't going to answer it, but I was in the shower and found that I couldn't stop thinking about it. You see, to answer the question directly -- no, I'm going to pay for the date so matter how expensive it gets. I'm a planner, so it's highly unlikely that things would ever go off the rails like the question describes, but if they did, I'm paying.

    That said, there's a concept that's discussed heavily by men in my social circle that I've never seen talked about here and that's the problem with overspending on women. Women will deny this 100% of the time, but if you spend too much on a woman early on, you set this cadence that's impossible to undo and in the end, you'll never have a substantial relationship with the woman. This is normally fine because 97% of the time, you're not looking for a long-term relationship but merely a woman to have fun with. Like, someone to take to hipster restaurants, someone to go to shows with, someone to travel with to Las Vegas. Hopefully, she's pretty and intelligent and funny and you two laugh a lot together.

    However, the problem is that in the unlikely event that you meet a woman that makes you reconsider your bachelor ways, you've already ruined the woman as she starts expecting things and isn't happy hanging out with you unless you guys do those things. And these are women who would be embarrassed to ever be called a gold digger because they themselves are educated and make their own money. You know how all of these "powerful" men have been outed of late for being chauvinist assholes? I think that there would be just as many women out there who would be just as embarrassed if their personal interactions with men were revealed as well because you'd hear some things that you would never believe that an intelligent, educated woman would say. In the end, the real issue is that EVERYTHING looks bad when you analyze the private, personal interactions of two individuals.

    But I digress. Men, be careful about overspending. I mean, I do it, the men in my social circle do it, and I get why we do it. Like for me, I don't go to movies. I don't like them. But I like Broadway musicals, which of course are 10-15x the cost. I don't eat shitty food. I don't watch Netflix because I don't even own a TV. But you know, if you want something substantial, maybe you should be willing to eat at McDonalds once or twice.

    0|1
    0|0
  • (Realistically) At some point the girl would buy a few round of drinks of her own accord. I've never met a girl who hasn't.

    Even still, if the company was good enough for me to carry on i wouldn't have a problem paying everything. If it sucked i'd make my excuses and leave.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well I think in the long run everyone is better served by splitting the bill
    I don't think there is any amount that changes that
    But if you ask someone out and if you start paying to begin with then I think if you are in for a penny you are in for a pound

    0|1
    0|0
  • Considering that in the most common situation; the guy makes the move, and the guy picks the venue, so he should have the forethought to pick somewhere he can afford to cover.

    If you can only afford taco bell, you don't ask a girl out to red lobster

    1|0
    0|0
  • If it is you who git it that pricey, and it is justbthe first date, I'd cover my part.
    Then again, if I actually went on a date with anyone ever, I'd be covering myself anyway. Probably them as well. Just to be nice.

    This is going to be confusing, isn't it?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lol, women are so funny. “Get rid of gender roles!” “The patriarchy is bullshit”... ummmm, but you can still pay for the first date though, hehe. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!

    0|2
    2|0
  • First dates to me are coffee/icecream during a walk it's cheap enough I don't care about the cost, and quick enough we can both leave after if it's not going well.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I don't take my SO to expensive dates.. she would hit me if i did.
    We enjoy all the pizza and kebab for under 5€ each...
    Shits expensive and we are poor students :D

    0|0
    0|0
  • if i'm the one who asked/invited the girl to go on a date, i will usually pay for everything unless she offers for the bill to be split then i'll be like okay, sure. if it's not a date and just going out with as friends regardless of gender, i just feel that it's just proper etiquette to bring extra cash to be ready to cover for them just in case they don't have enough money because i'm the one who invited them to go out.

    if i a girl invited me out for dinner, and it doesn't matter if it's a date or not. if she's the one who said she's treating and i know she's doing good financially then i'm not going to offer to split, if i know she's going through financial problems i will offer to split the bill or at least to pay for tips.

    i don't know about other people but it's just what i usually do, and if they didn't actually want to split the bill then they should've kept their quiet lols.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I know we live in the modern age where equality and splitting the bill is a thing. However for a first date I am traditional that a man should pay no matter if there was chemistry or not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Guys
    27

Recommended myTakes

Loading...