Would you date someone you aren’t sexually or physically attracted to?


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yes. I don't need sexual attraction in my relationship. It's an added benefit, sure, but I can love someone I'm not chasing sex with. Sadly, very few women seem to feel that way, at least not on all the apps created for forming relationships, so I have to demonstrate sexual attraction before they're willing to invest emotionally :(

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  • Yes, for the simple reason that I'm not so near sighted as to think said attraction can't be developed. My first girlfriend wasn't exactly skinny. When I first met her I really didn't find her at all attractive. Admittedly, we didn't start out dating but we became friends and began dating about 6 months later. While we were together I began to find her more and more beautiful, in fact at the point I prefer girls that are a little thicc x3 they give they best hugs and they are incredibly sexy to me now. Whatever traits I may or may not consider attractive in the here and now, I know if love her as a person I will find her attractive. Basically I've learned just how true the term "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is and I know that if I love a girl, I will find her beautiful and attractive. So yeah I would date a girl to whom I'm not sexually/physically attracted, as there is literally nothing stopping me from becoming physically attracted to them. If I'm not in the relationship just for sex then it doesn't matter if there's an initial attraction anyway.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I would if they weren't extremely unattractive to me or if they had a charming and attractive personality or demeanour. The guy I'm dating has an okay looking face but he is tall and slim - however - due to food shortages in his area - he now looks VERY VERY slim - to the point that it is becoming a problem - not physically only - but also health wise. I like skinny guys but I won't say that to a guy that is WAY TOO SKINNY!!! I guess he's not perfect but he's good enough.

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  • No. A guys appearance initially attracts me, his personality determines if I continue to date him or not.

    I'm sure a guy wouldn't want to be with a woman if she told him she found him physically unattractive, and was only with him because of his personality. Everyone wants their partner to feel physically and sexually attracted to them.. Appearance and personality are equally important. If a person didn't take appearance into consideration , they'd just date everyone and anyone

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What Guys Said 190

  • Depends. If we get along really well and I find something about them super cute, then yes. It'd have to be a smile, or something easily seen. My father told me that if there wasn't any attraction, eventually the relationship will fail. I believe there are exceptions, but from what I've seen , it appears to be true. Good luck!

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  • My last ex was someone that I wasn't physically attracted to and it ended up hurting the relationship. The person you are dating deserves to be with someone who thinks that is absolutely stunning so I would advise against dating someone you don't find attractive.

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  • For the most part I am attracted to the person who is inside. Femellephantlady would make it hard, i haven't faced that challenge yet so i do not know if i am capable of expanding my mind to incorperate that.
    but while I enjoy looking at beautiful ladies I think I could more easily sleep with a woman who was ugly outside than ugly inside, its pretty hard to bring yourself close to someone that you despise

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  • To a degree, yes. If they have an amazing personality it naturally makes them attractive, or at least blind me from their physical attraction a bit.
    Having a great personality is like sunglasses - it doesn't completely blind me to their physique, but it makes it very tolerable to the point it's enjoyable.
    Admittedly, I don't go for anybody that's too far out of my weight class.

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  • I might, but it would be very difficult. You would need even some level of attraction to them both physically and sexually for it to truly work. Even just a tiny bit. You need something to work with

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  • It’s definitely possible to learn to love someone, most great marriages have learned to do this one way or another, but there has to be something to build on that attracts you to a person

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  • Yes because attraction is more then skin deep but the person would have to work a little harder to get that attraction and a first date but after that the physical attraction would soon follow if there was a connection any way

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  • I seem to be physically attracted to very damaged people so definitely yes. I'd rather have a sweet, kind person anyday over someone sexually attractive who is going to become abusive. Besides that looks fade. Personality not so much

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  • Some thing like a mercy date? You go out one or two times just to make them feel good about themselves. I guess that if that person was really depressed I might do it. Not too sure on the kissing or sex. I would hold their hand if we went to see a movie or were walking through a mall.

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  • No. It may sound superficial but dating someone starts with a physical or sexual attraction and then the emotions and personalities come into play. All aspects of attraction are important in any relationshio.

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  • Yes, but it has to be something particular about them that makes me love them.

    However there’s a limit, let’s say I wouldn’t go lower than 1-2 scores below me, and there needs to be proper grooming even if her qualities have won me over.

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  • I have before. And it isn't healthy for me personally. I need sexual and physical attraction in addition in a relationship in order to feel not only satisfied but enjoying the relationship. I love a sexy woman. Im being flat out al lot of women can't handle a man who is 100% straight up sometimes. a lot of men it goes the same way. I just like being real in a relationship. I need all aspects not simply just physical or sexual attraction. Its immensely deeper than that.

    - Matt

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  • No, I can’t be with someone I’m not 100% into physically... that’s how attraction starts.. now, people that your aren’t attracted too can become that way over time... but sometimes it doesn’t get to that point

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  • Physical attraction is a huge part to play for me, especially at my age. Having chemistry is one thing, but if they aren't easy on the eyes it leaves something to be desired.

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  • Physical attraction can originate from emotional attraction. If the person looks like an ogre but has a personality of a star. Yeah ofcourse. Shrek is a prime example. Hahaha

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  • You can’t trust me, I tried I really did but if you’re not attracted to the person you’re in the relationship it’s not gonna work cause attraction is a HUGE part of a relationship

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  • I'm going to say no on this one. Simply because I tend to look at the big picture. There are many reasons why I would date/marry someone, and while that one is not the most important, it is still a big factor. So I couldn't do it.

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  • Yes. Would have to be a perfect match otherwise, but yes.

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  • I believe attraction is needed... my relationship is failing because she’s no longer into me :( and it’s affecting me

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  • I actually tried to be with someone that was attracted to me but i wasn't to her. She was good looking but i just wasn't feeling it, all it did though being with her made it feel so fake and made me guilty for waisting her time

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What Girls Said 59

  • Chemistry is important, but there has to be something more than just that, if the relationship is to survive. People change, so both people are committed to continuing the relationship, they must be willing to allow for growth and be willing to accept the changes in the other throughout the many different phases of the other's development along the way. Both have to do the work that is necessary to grow together.
    A lot of times, after a number of years, one of the two, will say something like "She's/He's not the same person I married" and resentment has festered because that person was expecting the other to always be that person they married.
    Now, if it's because that person suddenly became an asshole, and stopped doing the work on their part, while expecting the other to carry the weight... that is something completely different.
    But if suddenly, your wife/husband of 15 years, decides she/he wants to take up fencing or some crazy hobby, and it seems out of her/his character, be willing to accept the change and enjoy the new adventurous spirit you've never seen and go with the flow.

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  • No. It's not at all watch the most important to me, but i think you should have that kind of attraction to the person you're with. It's not like they have to be hot or anything hell I find a lot of "unattractive" guys attractive, but to be in a relationship with someone I think it would be crazy to not be attracted to them.

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  • To me the two kind of go hand in hand. Even if I don’t even find them physically attractive at first, once I get to know them and I really like who they are as people that makes them THAT more attractive physically to me.

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  • Yes, my interest in dating a guy depends on personality and who they are - not whether I’m aroused by looking at them or think they’re the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.

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  • I think to some degree sexual/physical attraction is important in a relationship, it isn't the most important thing- but I believe it matters.
    That being said, I probably would not.

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  • No, looks matter when it comes to a relationship, it isn't everything, but it's something. There has to both a sexual and an emotional connection to make a relationship function.

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  • No. I was just in a situation like that where the guy I was talking to was a great person, I was just turned off by the thought of being with him. I had to end it.

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  • Sure because if you like their personality, they slowly become more and more attractive physically as you get to know them.

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  • I don't date guys based on their looks. It helps if they are cute, but honestly the ones that I have had the biggest connection with are the guys that I wouldn't have picked just by looking at them. But there was a lot of chemistry between us that made up for it. That's why I like meeting someone by chance compared to online dating. Online dating, I find myself skimming over guys bc they aren't "my type", but meeting someone by chance like at a gas station, or store, or wherever, you get their personality instantly and know if there is chemistry or not. Sometimes it's small exchanges or looks you give each other, and that's something you can't get from a picture.

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  • Nope. Not my thing. I need to get attracted physically first. Personality comes later because it takes time to know someone. (Assuming i do not know him)

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  • No... What's the use of the relationship then... I mean sure personality is a key factor in choosing a partner but what's the point if there's no attraction whatsoever?

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  • Hell no. I need to have some kind of attraction to someone to date and have sex with.

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  • yes, that's how my current relationship started and now he's the most attractive person ever to me. Going on a year!

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  • Yes totally because i think that when you love someone you'll love them from every part of them

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  • There has to be at least some slight bit of physical attraction.

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  • Nein. If his appearance doesn't drive me crazy, he ain't the one.

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  • Well it depends on the person I'm not gonna lie attraction does play a role but so does personality so it depends on the guy/girl

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  • No, there has to be at least some initial attraction there.

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  • No. I truly believe that if they are the one for me I will be attracted to them

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  • Why would you date someone if he’s not useful to you?

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