For example there were many times where I thought the guy I was with was ditching me to hang out with his female friend when he wasn't doing that
For example: I got annoyed with him for showing up late for a date and then he explained to me that he had only slept 3-5 hours the night before and woke up from his sleep to spend time with me and the he showed me the refrigerated berries he bought from the grocery store. He said he was planning on going home to put the foods he bought in the fridge but didn't want to do that cause he would be late for our date if he did that.
Another time he was late and I was angry enough to cancel the date and then when I saw him he looked so shy and humble and respectful and sad and was so well dressed and he had lost so much weight from not having money for food that I forgave him.
Another time I was annoyed with him cause he went 2 days without talking to me and he explained to me that he had been at his parents house the entire time cause he was celebrating father's day and had an anxiety attack and couldn't sleep which was why he didn't message me.
I guess since this is my first relationship - I kept thinking negative or pessimistic thoughts that didn't reflect the true situation at hand.
Most Helpful Guys
Funny you mentioned about how everyone operates on a different schedule, because the first girl I ever loved, broke up with me because I work nights (and she also lived in a different time zone across states) and she called me and I was sleeping and I wake up to five missed calls, a crying voicemail calling me every curse word under the sun. I apologize and told her I was sleeping and it won't happen again, she says it's no big deal, and says we are back together and wants to fly out to meet me... I got a red flag after that, and I politely declined, and then out of respect for her, I called her to explain best I could that I think it's best we had to break up for good (I wanted to just text it to her, but that is horrible to do to anyone. I would never break up through a text)
The lesson I learned was always set your phone on ring, and pick up when your girl calls. And also pay attention to someones mental stability and how easily they can get set off0
Most Helpful Girls
Some people intentionally hide all of their insecurities in the dark and then get angry why you never knew about or "fix" them.
Logic is subjective, no matter how "justified" people claim it is. My case is too long to state here.
If you're dating someone who says "I don't know what I want." Just know, they don't want you.
Mental illness can really suck. There's a lot of hype of how bad it is to have one, but it can be incredibly taxing on the partner. so unless the person is dealing with it in a way you also find acceptable, leave them and don't let them guilt you about it.
Often respect is lost over time, and its nearly impossible to gain back.
Some people just want more attention than you. If they want to start drama, let them walk away and lock the door.1
I’ve never been in a relationship before but I definitely learned from observing one of my family friends get new baes and break up many times over my entire lifetime (she did this even before I was born).
I saw that each time, she broke up because there was a conflict and she didn’t want to confront it, so then she just broke up with the guy. They could never compromise. After countless splits and divorces and weddings and engagements, even now she hasn’t settled down yet and she’s my dad’s high school classmate.
At this time, he’s 50, I’ve graduated from high school, and she hasn’t even gotten married yet, but is still dating around.
I think that in a relationship, two people have to work together and compromise sometimes if they want to get over a problem they encounter. If they run into a conflict and just turn away, things are never gonna work out. There has to be some sort of cooperation between each party.
That’s the only way that it will work.2