Is asking a guy out ok?

How would you feel if a girl did that?
  • Aggressive move looks desperate
    Vote A
  • Seems weird
    Vote B
  • Itโ€™s a good thing
    Vote C
  • Itโ€™s emasculates men
    Vote D
  • Just give him your number and wait for him to ask
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • For me it wouldn't be such a good idea to ask me out since if I was interested, I would have already asked. For shy guys, it might be a good idea, since they might have wanted to ask but couldn't find it in themselves to do so.

    I think a woman needs to have her own share of initiative, but I see that more in the realm of flirting and indicating interest to help give signs to the other guy that you want him to ask you out. I don't necessarily see it as useful to offer yourself on a silver platter by asking him out.

    I wouldn't always have the most noble intentions either if a girl asked me out. If I was like, "Hmm, I'm not really into her but she's offering herself to me", I might have utilized that at some point when I was young and not so noble to just pursue a sexual relationship and nothing more.

    This might be kind of old-school thinking, but I still see society and even our sexual attraction being shaped by men pursuing and leading women, not the other way around. If the idea of a woman twirling a man in a dance, tipping him over, and planting a kiss seems odd, so too does it seem odd to me for a woman to be asking the man out.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • That said, if you're the type of girl who crushes on one guy and practically fall in love with him before even going on a single date with him and you're so obsessed with this one guy of your dreams and he's not making any moves, might as well ask him out instead of watching your life waste away. I don't recommend crushing like that, but if you're the type to do that and nothing's happening, you might as well make a move (if only to get rejected so that you can move on).

    • Also if the girl asks the guy out, does she pay for the date? Does she lead him and choose where to go? Does he flirt and try as hard as possible to show signs of interest in hopes of her asking him out? How much does the classical roles and expectations reverse when we reverse the initial process of pursuit? Does it just even out to the point of like friends asking each other to hang out, only to split bills, only for neither of them to really take the lead? If the last option is the most desirable, how many women are into guys who don't take much initiative or lead during a date?

    • Do women like that type of guy who's like, "I can't think of any place to go. Where do you want to go?" If so things have changed a lot since I was younger and dating, and maybe society is changing sufficiently enough to where each sex can pursue the other. If it's far short of reaching this point, however, I don't see it as having sufficiently changed enough for women to pursue men and initiate asking the date in a way that is to their ultimate benefit.

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What Guys Said 138

  • Overwhelming answer that it's a good thing but somehow women sit back and wait for the men. Here you go ladies.. the poll of all polls.. go get your man! Stop waiting for them to come to you! And Happy Hump Day!

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    • I had done that 3 times even if the guy agrees on both hanging out. I know he will never make a move so I do it

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    • That's true ๐Ÿ™‚ I think it should be balanced, but some things as asking someone to Mary you, should be up to men ๐Ÿ™‚

    • have a cookie...๐Ÿช๐Ÿช๐Ÿช

  • i've been asked out quite a few times by girls. i actually found it to be very flattering and i did date some of them, some i didn't date because i was already with someone at the time, and i had a great time with them while it lasted. although as we kept walking forward in life, we strayed off and walked different paths, things didn't work so we broke up, but what really matters is the most is that later down in the future, we don't have any regrets because of missed opportunities. maybe we'll even remain as friends, and possibly even best friends.

    i think girls asking guys out is actually a great thing, and there's nothing to be ashamed of even if rejected because at least you tried. there's far too many girls that miss out on great opportunities because girls keep waiting, and it's mostly just waiting for nothing. a lot of times girls just assume the guy is shy, no balls, a pussy for not chasing them even when they're throwing themselves into their line of sight to get the attention of their gym crush or classmate or whatever. but it could be possible that maybe he already has a girlfriend, maybe he's gay, maybe he's married, maybe he's broken on the inside from so many rejections he already received, and if sometimes girls would just ask, at least you'll know the reason why instead of just waiting and assuming the guy isn't into you.

    but anyway, this is just goes through my mind when girls keep saying they want to wait for the guy to chase. and for those of you who keep saying it's 2018 already so stop it, like yeah! it's 2018 so stop living in the past, stop waiting for nothing, and just go out and get those guys and gals you're crushing on! not to compliment myself but too bad i don't do mytakes otherwise i think this would be a great mytake hahaha!

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  • Please do! C!

    I would so love that and would have massive respect that you had the courage to do that.
    Its one of my pet peeves that we are supposed to be equals now but this is not only left up to men but that we actually get abused over it at the same time.

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  • I had this cute black girl ask what I was up to yesterday while at the gym; we are going out tonight. So why not?

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  • I LOVE it, when she has the confidence, and asks me out!! TOTALLY a HUGE PLUS!!! I like women that ASSUME, that I respect them as equals, a it should be, and when she asks me out!! WOW!! It's finally changing!!

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  • Best guys are often scared to ask because they are feeling overwhelmed and scared when they see that really beautiful woman looks at them.
    On the other hand most of the guys that just go to you and ask you to go out with them want sexs in first three dates.

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  • It really depends on a guy on the best way to take care of the situation if you really like a guy and you aggressively ask him out that's going to push him away possibly but if you kind of nuts a little bit and you know and he met he might come around then again if you just say hey here's my number if you're free sometime give me a call maybe we can do something that might working better, and if he calls you then you know he's very much interested in you.

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  • Do what u want... but im the type of guy who never makes a move so nothing would ever happen if u let the man do that... I think the majority of males are the opposite to me though... so it's up to you... ask out the guy u like or wait for a guy who u dont like but is brave enough to do the asking out

    By the way... we don't dislike it... I kinda like it... I wish girls would ask me out
    But im too ugly for that I guess

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  • I'd be a bit flattered but very glad if this happened

    I would be mentally thinking something along the lines of this:

    like you're one of the absolute coolest people now!

    like thank you for asking this particular question

    but if this didn't happen it doesn't make someone uncool or dumb either.

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  • Why do all these poll options except for one make the assumption that asking him out directly is bad? That's pretty sexist, no?

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    • And you know what's REALLY telling? 17% of women said it makes you look desperate. How many men? 1%. The most popular answer is 85% of men saying it's a good thing. So I think the truth speaks for itself: Girls just THINK it looks desperate and spread that BS. We men actually admire it. Don't believe what your girl friends tell you!

    • I promised dyne question men on bodybuilder. com say if a girl approached a guy she wants the D and they all seem really pervy

  • Why would it not be alright? If you're interested and feel that you have a chance, go for it. Listen to what you yourself want out of this. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. There is no reason for why women can't ask men out.

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  • I am very shy, i could never asked my crush, i really expected some magic to happen and she came and ask me, as i was never confident and feared of messing things up.
    I really don't mind if girls approach.
    After all its 2018 not the late 80's.

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  • A couple days ago at orientation a girl approached me. I gained interest in her that second just because she was brave enough to do so. It's definitely a huge plus and a great first impression.

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  • I am 100% ok with a girl asking because left to my own devices I might not even realize a girl is into me and if she's flirting I may not even realize it while it happening. I have no lie had moments where a situation or conversation that I had with a girl years before randomly pops in my head and it clicks and Im like "Holly shit you moron that girl you worked with 10 years ago was totally flirting with you."

    This has honestly happen to me more times than I feel comfortable admiting granted it was when I was young and shy thank god that experience helped got rid of some of that as I got older. Who else has had moments and realized something like this long after it has happened? I know I can't be the only one.

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  • In a world where a woman can become president. Of course you can, but no woman who is like a model will ever ask a guy out. It's just not going to happen. I guess its okay to give him your number, but then let him text you or call you first.

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  • Some women like to be wined and dined but the woman that's a true catch is the one that not afraid to make plans herself.

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  • Nearly all of my ex's were the initiators. I was so relieved when they took that risk instead of me. Let's face it, men have it harder anyway when it comes to attracting the opposite sex.

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    • Exactly, I would also. be more attracted to the girl. if they initiated

  • Frequently for either gender, we don't realize the other person likes us that way until it's to late. Sure we're friends, but if nothing is said, you'll likely miss the opportunity.

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  • Girls asking guys out isn't okay, or good. It's freaking fantastic.

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  • In my own honest opinion dear Anonymous, it is a Good Thing and much more appreciated, at least by me, it shows how confident and strong character she is.

    Society is always expecting a "Certain" behavior regarding genders, which in my own honest opinion are not really necessary.

    If I like a girl that much, I should be able to tell her and ask for her number to meet up more often and get to know each other better.

    If a girl likes a boy, then why not tell him how she really feels? What is the main reason? She can sit on the chair and wait for prince charming to come over on his horse handing her the shoes she lost somewhere, or she can just approach that prince charming, introduce herself, and start a conversation. Personally, I will be having much more respect for her and wanting to know her better.

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What Girls Said 45

  • I've asked out guys AND girls before and honestly it makes no difference. And based on these poll results currently even guys would prefer it if you tried asking them out too! In this day and age it isn't a bad thing so I would definitely not disregard it

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  • If you like a guy, just ask them out. Same with if a guy likes a girl.

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  • I honestly prefer guys donโ€™t ask me. I donโ€™t like turning them down or having that conversation when 99 times out of a hundred Iโ€™d say no under any circumstance.

    Iโ€™ve asked of the small number of guys Iโ€™ve dated Iโ€™ve only had one asked me out. One was a set up and three I asked out.

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  • I asked my boyfriend two years ago to go on a date with me and have fun. If I didn't kiss him and show him that I really like him. Today he wouldn't be with me anymore.

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  • As a girl i don't see it weird or anything. But asking a guy out for me is all about our relationship. If we know each other it's fine for me. But I'm not going to ask a stranger in Street out. If you like the guy just go for it just try not to be awkward.

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  • The number of men feeling helpless in the dating pool, worried about approaching a women who might make wild accusations about him being a stalker, greatly outnumber the men who would feel emasculated by you asking.

    The majority of men would appreciate you actually using that gender equality.

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  • Do it. And no, I don't 'sit back and wait'. I've actually asked plenty of men out... (Unlike what 'guys' on this site would love to think.)
    So I say ask the person you like out - you won't have to wonder 'what if', you would either get what you want or have the permission from yourself to move on to someone else who might appreciate your advances.
    Either way - you win. =)

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  • It all depends. At least for me anyways.
    If he appears kind of shy, I might ask him if he would like to hang out. And if it seems he wants to ask me but he doesn't, I feel him out to see if perhaps he might be with someone else. This would mean he is a cheater. hahaha If he even admits he has someone.

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  • I asked my Boyfriend out Twice, he liked me but was unsure about it since i was a closed up type of person.

    I asked him out twice because we broke up due to a lie a friend told me and then we got to know each other better over that time, I knew what i wanted and i went for it! we've been together for 8 years now

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  • of course it's ok. What, we've moved past the stone age hon. men no longer drag around bows and arrows. if I see a guy I like check me out, then sure, why not engage in conversation and ask them out?

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  • Sometimes it takes pressure off the guy if the girl makes a move first. That's how I started dating my very first boyfriend. He had no idea I liked him until I made a move.

    Plus, guys don't get hints. They just don't. They need something more obvious to get the message across.

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    • Tbh, I get hints. I ignore them. I don't like it, make a move, or don't. But hinting at things? Especially feelings? Nah, that makes me think you're not really interested or playing it way too safe.

  • Absolutely nothing wrong with it... when I was single, if I saw a guy who caught my interest, I didn't wait for him, I made the first move.

    I'm glad I did, one of those guys is my husband of just over 6 years now... and I love him so much !!!

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  • It's not a bad thing for a woman to ask as long as he still feels like he needs to chase you. And of course I'm generalizing. Not all men operate the same. But for the majority that thrill of the chase has been a big factor since the beginning of time.

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  • Yes it's fine. When I asked out my ex he was excited because he was afraid to ask me. I was going to do it again when I first met my boyfriend but he asked me out first.

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  • Seems like only girls voted that it makes you seem desperate. I assure you it doesn't. ;)

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  • I am traditional when it comes to dating. We have not changed since primitive ages in terms of dating rules. We want guys to pursue us. That is simple like that. Of course you drop the hints.

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  • I'm neutral on it. I personally don't ask men out for one reason: every time I did make the first move the guy got complacent and let me do everything (calling, texting, date planning, etc), to the point where I got tired, concluded he wasn't into me, stopped trying and never heard from him again whereas with the guys who asked me out, I never had to guess their level of interest.

    Perhaps the girls who thought guys see it as being desperate had similar experiences? I speak from my experiences alone, but I don't think a girl is desperate if she makes the first move at all

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  • It's definitely okay and I think the guy will prefer it. People in general prefer confidence

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  • It's never wrong to express your feelings to someone, especially love. We'll be thrilled, I'm sure of it.

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  • I don't see why you shouldn't ask a guy out. To be honest I would probably be to scared though, but that doesn't mean that you can't

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