That said, if you're the type of girl who crushes on one guy and practically fall in love with him before even going on a single date with him and you're so obsessed with this one guy of your dreams and he's not making any moves, might as well ask him out instead of watching your life waste away. I don't recommend crushing like that, but if you're the type to do that and nothing's happening, you might as well make a move (if only to get rejected so that you can move on).
Also if the girl asks the guy out, does she pay for the date? Does she lead him and choose where to go? Does he flirt and try as hard as possible to show signs of interest in hopes of her asking him out? How much does the classical roles and expectations reverse when we reverse the initial process of pursuit? Does it just even out to the point of like friends asking each other to hang out, only to split bills, only for neither of them to really take the lead? If the last option is the most desirable, how many women are into guys who don't take much initiative or lead during a date?
Do women like that type of guy who's like, "I can't think of any place to go. Where do you want to go?" If so things have changed a lot since I was younger and dating, and maybe society is changing sufficiently enough to where each sex can pursue the other. If it's far short of reaching this point, however, I don't see it as having sufficiently changed enough for women to pursue men and initiate asking the date in a way that is to their ultimate benefit.
But a girl kept rejecting me even after showing that she was interested. Was I being despirate? I wanted her and I loved her
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I had done that 3 times even if the guy agrees on both hanging out. I know he will never make a move so I do it
@kitty71 Cool.. good for you.. bravo!
This is actually a job of a man. I selected it too, but not because they should always go. Men should be the ones to hunt for women. It's like this everywhere in nature 🙂
@sakalator it's not a job for a man. If you are interested in someone, regardless of if you are male or female, you should ask them out. I'd love it if a girl asked me out. Even if I'm not nessisarily interested in them it's shows confidence and initiative which are highly respectable characteristics.
Of course, but you'd like it also because you don't want to do it first 😀 if a girl asks me out, that's great, but in my last relationship, my ex did everything first and it was so frustrating.. men need space in things. If they get to be the leaders, they are filling their duty's 😌
Why does a man need to be leader though, that's what I'm getting at. And I will totally ask a girl out first. The majority of the time it is me asking but if a girl came up to me and asked me out I'd be more inclined to say yes.
That's true 🙂 I think it should be balanced, but some things as asking someone to Mary you, should be up to men 🙂
have a cookie...🍪🍪🍪
Tbh, I get hints. I ignore them. I don't like it, make a move, or don't. But hinting at things? Especially feelings? Nah, that makes me think you're not really interested or playing it way too safe.
I don’t understand it’s a social norm for men to make the first move how can that suck?
what if someone likes me, and never says anything or makes their feelings known? And what if they're really good for me? I'll never know if they don't open their mouth. Making the first move is scary. Cause, well, as a guy, you're right, it's expected. But sometimes I don't know what to say. Sometimes I get shy or nervous around someone who I think is really dope. But hey, I get to miss out on someone wonderful because I'm expected to say something. Even if i can't.
You gave me something to think about. That was well put, but if I make the first move as a girl it could come off as desperate. Some guys assume you are easy since you put yourself out there for him. I always hear how men like to chase it’s biology so when I do his job for him doesn’t that turn him off
And sadly that is true. For sex/reproduction though. Men chase because our horomones are designed to do that. But coming off as desperate? Only to someone not worth your time. A guy feels the same way when he asks out a girl who is "out of his league" but change the perspective. Out of your league is good, why bother with someone who doesn't want you or finds your advances desperate?
I’m afraid I’ll make the chase easy for him if I ask him out
Normal fears to have about the start of a relationship. Both sides are terrified, scared to be hurt or used or to have their time wasted. But, isn't the whole point of a relationship to work past those slightly irrational fears?
Can I message you the real story
It won’t let me unless I follow you first
Try it now
You are very wrong on that one.
@spartan55 Why is that?
Because if I think a woman is desperate to ask me out, that means it's a pretty poor reflection on me...I have once had the thought that a woman was desperate for asking a guy out... I don't know any guy who ever has either.
@spartan55 I actually meant the opposite. If a woman asks a man out that means she has to because men aren't asking her. That's why she would be thought of as desperate.
Ok, I see what you mean. Guess there are two ways to look at it.