Most Helpful Guys
I don't think your partner should dictate that many things, but I think it's reasonable for them to have some input. For example, if you're wearing very revealing clothing and that makes him uncomfortable then he should let you know how he feels about it and hopefully you can work out something you're both OK with.
Or if he wears something that makes you uncomfortable for some reason, you can discuss that and hopefully he'll make some changes to accommodate you.
But what you described sounds to me like it's very controlling. I think you should mostly be able to dress the way you want and choose your own hair color and style, but maybe with some accommodation to his preferences if there's a few specific things that he doesn't like.
The person you're in a relationship with should mostly like you for who you are - perhaps with a few minor changes but certainly not wanting to totally change you.
Normal, no. Okay? Sure if you don't mind. Does your partner have the RIGHT to tell you what to do? Of course not. But they have the right to request what they like and you have the right to decide how important dressing for them is compared to dressing for yourself.
I certainly would wear whatever my wife wants me to wear. The idea that I 'dress to express myself" really makes little sense, clothing doesn't really do that. Ask yourself, what's your purpose in clothing if not to look good for your partner?
If you have something about how you look that is more important than looking good for your partner, then do that. If you don't, then look how they want you to look.
People will often say that you shouldn't dress for them, but for yourself. But what the heck does "dressing for youself" mean? I have no idea what people are thinking when they say that. I mean, if its uncomfortable like he wants you to wear heels and that hurts your feet, yeah, wear comfy shoes for yourself. But what's the point in dressing in some certain way "for yourself"?
Most Helpful Girls
I put up with it when I was your age. I wouldn't put up with it now. Unless you enjoy being controlled that way like some sort of power exchange, I don't think it has any place in a relationship.
Is it normal? It's within the range of behaviors that could be kind of mild or could be abusively controlling. In your case it sounds like more controlling than you were happy with.
@Brindle_Bangaa you chose the word "dictate" to describe your situation. Parents dictate your bedtime as a child, your boss dictates your work load per your job discription, laws dictate whether you should drive after consuming alcohol... A boyfriend dictating the way you should dress or look.. Clearly he needs his ass whooped. But hey, it's all in what we'll allow and accept.