Sex before marriage or nah?

  • Sex before marriage for sure!
    Vote A
  • No, I’d like to wait.
    Vote B
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3374

Most Helpful Girl

  • No sex before marriage makes no sense. What if you won't get married until you're 40? No sex until then? Yeah, right. And exploring how sexually compatible you and your partner are, is crucial. Why would you risk waiting and getting married, just to find out that the sex just sucks between you?

    And what for anyway? There's nothing mystical about sex, it's not some holy grail. The concept of purity is antiquated, conservative esoteric nonsense. You're not worth less or more for having had sex before. In fact, it just makes you more experienced. And experience is never a bad thing.

    Virginity really needs to be de-mystified. You are not special or better or more "pure" for choosing to stay virgin. You're just putting yourself on a pedestal for arbitrary reasons and missing out on one of the most central aspects of human life - sex. Enjoy it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 74

  • My wife and I married as virgins.

    We both think it was good and recommend waiting.

    The wait is definitely difficult. But we think the outcome is good.

    First is the feeling of exclusiveness. Just you and me. That feeling last until today in our marriage.

    Next is the process of learning the art of lovemaking together. It's a pleasurable journey.

    The commitment we made is assurred because sex was out of the picture.

    So I propose: save your v card until marriage.

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  • I want my first time to not only be when I am in love, but married. Go ahead and laugh but I held this belief even before I found Christ. My faith in Christ wants me to honor his commandments, so I guess my belief on premarital sex just further reinforces my faith.

    I encourage everyone to wait

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    • While I don't agree with you, I applaud your principles and admire your willingness to live by them. Kudos to you. There is something truly admirable in your stance.

  • Not a chance Id wait. It tells me she's extremely inhibited and we have 0 chance of a relationship working given Im pretty uninhibited for the most part.

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  • It's insane to me that people would get married before they explore whether or not they're sexually compatible. You're making a lifelong commitment, and yet you don't even know how you two work in the bedroom, which plays a pretty big role in a long term relationship.

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  • What if he's hung like a hamster, and it's like a hot dog in a hallway? Or vise-versa? What if one person is a selfish lover and doesn't make sure the other gets off, or their lovemaking style is no fun for you? The only thing that ruins more marriages than bad sex is fighting over money.

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  • What's the point in waiting for marriage?
    I waited till I found someone I love and that was special but I wouldn't have waited for marriage, that's just pointless because I have no religious or cultural beliefs so it was up to me and chose not to wait for marriage.

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  • Oh yeah. Sex before marriage is a lot like walking around Costco. You have to do a little bit of sampling here and there just to see what you like before you buy the whole package

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    • If you completely repress yourself you will be unprepared later. By no means does anyone need to be a whore but I think that being completely celibate stunts a person's development and can be harmful.

  • As someone who voluntarily waited till marriage, I'm voting don't wait.

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  • There's no other way to ensure sexual compatibility. If she says she likes the idea of certain things that I need, that's not the same as her liking the act.

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  • Why does £5000 a ring and a paper say you love them more anyway. Marriage is becoming devoid anyways

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  • The whole "no sex before marriage" thing seems very antiquated to me. I have never even met anyone who has said they are waiting for marriage, it's not very common here.

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  • Only religion is holding that commandment. If you do not follow that, this is a meaningless question.

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    • Not always the case

    • Show All
    • The question isn't whether it is wrong, it is whether you should do it or not. Therefor this question isn't meaningless as there are many reasons to wait that aren't religious, such as STDs, waiting for love, purity complexes, standards, and commitment.

    • @TwinklingNeurons It's up to you how you take that question. I have been here for too many years and I know why this question gets asked again and again and yet again. Every asker has an inner voice telling them it's wrong or "it shouldn't be done" but they just want people to say it all ok. They just want others to agree with what they really want to do. Fewer askers are on the other side of the fence. You can see that by the way they ask the question.

  • Actually it depends, i do sex to my ex, but it doesn't meaning i have to marry her.
    If we both like to. have sex, then it goes, whether i'm gonna marry her or not

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  • I say before, you don't want the person you're spending the rest of your life with to be unsatisfied cause you didn't learn how to please them properly

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  • Yes. 50% of marriages end in divorce and sex is one of the main reasons for divorce so I want the best chance at a happy marriage!

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  • I used to want to wait, but it's unrealistic in modern society. I still haven't done it, but I'll settle for committed relationship.

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  • I would never marry someone if I didn't even know we were sexually compatible. It's naive to think sex doesn't matter.

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  • If you are religious.. then it is something to offer your partner.. though sex is so lustful u lose urself into it.. can say much.. it is right or wrong... It all depends on U..

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  • I personally don't thing this is a good idea to hold sex until marriage...
    You have to try and discover yourself and your sexual pleasures... plus, what if you marry someone and you don't like the way they have sex with you or other way around? What of you're not compatible sexually? Then what?
    Sex is a big thing. It cannot be withheld like this.
    I don't say that you need to have sex with loads of people to discover yourself... I just say you have to try it with your partner that you think it's gonna be for life with you...
    It's the safest way for a long and lasting relationship sexually at least

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What Girls Said 32

  • I don't think waiting for marriage has never been a thing here in Finland. I don't see anything wrong with premarital sex, but if someone wants to wait, it's fine too. Since I'm the only person whose sex life concerns me, I don't really care what other people decide to do with theirs.

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    • Im sure at some point in history, even in Finland, people waited... or maybe they didn’t? You all invented Saunas right? I’m sure in the winter time, things happened back in the day

  • Definitely 'nah'.
    Sexual compatibility is important.
    Plus I think a lot of people think marriage is some magical relationship strengthener, when in reality all abstinence achieves is making people get married sooner so they can fuck, which in turn doesn't really work to create lasting commitments.

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  • I will wait until marriage, and this rule was made to protect girls from getting used and dumped. Just look at male celebrities who are womanisers, who have 10 ex girlfriends, it is impossible for a man to be a womaniser if every woman says "no sex before marriage,"

    Men have this logic that they want to sleep with 10 women before getting married to an angel.

    Marriage prevents many bad things in the society like women getting betrayed, women being fooled, heart breaks, depression, suicides, abortions.

    A man can have 10 ex girlfriends but he can't have 10 ex-wives, the maximum is 2 ex wives.

    Marrriage is also about making sure that the relationship is not a secret, it is about giving a woman identity and rights. It is about giving respect to a woman.

    In the old days, some women used to demand marriage to become wives and prostitutes wanted money, and now there is a woman called girlfriend who wants nothing, neither identity, marriage, money or rights.

    Girlfriend was called a mistress in the old days and the gf/bf was called a illegitimate relationship or an affair, sex before marriage was called adultery and children born out of wedlock were called illegitimate children or sin child, this is why royals get married before having children.

    The idea of a marriage is that you should only sleep with one person in life, and marriage guarantees commitment and loyalty, if you mention marriage it really puts a person to test and it shows how serious he is about you, and it takes a brave man to get married, too many men want to sleep with women but they are scared of marriage, this is not true love.

    The idea of marriage prevents women getting betrayed, being fooled

    my mother gave me this advice, true love is when a man can ask for your hand in front of your father, too many women are getting used and dumped.
    Parents need to teach their daughters not to be in that position where a man has no intention of a long term relationship till death or marriage, and just wants to use for sex.

    I blamed the freedom, western culture and liberalism for this.

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    • You are precious. May God protect you.

    • @10x20 awwww you know when I saw the notifications, I was scared because I thought it must be a hate comment but I was surprised and look at those 3 boys who gave me thumbs up, they can't deal with women who have brains, who respect themselves and set a high standard. And yes god has always protected and will protect me.

  • Getting married without having sex first is like buying $300 worth of meatballs for your restaurant without trying them and then finding out the meatballs are horrible but you can't do anything because you're stuck with them. Imagine getting married and then finding out you and your partner aren't compatible sexually and then you are stuck with bad sex/ no sex.

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    • Nightmare...

    • Exactly and then it causes problems such as one of them thinks sex is bad and won't have it and then the other partner feels their needs aren't being met and wants or even does cheat.

    • Meatballs? That is a great analogy. lol

  • I respect people more in general when they wait until marriage. All the religious crap aside, it just shows that you have will power and you ignored what everyone else had to say (because some virgins get a lot of bashing). It means you’ve accomplished a goal that meant so much to you. In a way, it’s like having ambition. Just how I see it.

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  • I’m waiting but if I’m absolutely in love with someone and they’re in love with me, they see a future with us together and we’re married and some day have our own kids, then I’d probably make love with them before we’re married. It would take a VERY, VERY special person to make me change my mind.

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  • Before marriage only because I believe sexual chemistry is equally important as everything else. Just because we don't talk about it, doesn't mean that its not there.

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  • Definitely before marriage. Sex is really important to me, and I wouldn't want to wait that long. Also, I wouldn't wanna risk that I'm not sexually compatible with the guy.

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  • I was not promiscuos with my ex-husband and compatibility was not there. As a divorcee, I believe premarital sex is important but if the relationship leads to wedding bells, abstinence can occur before walking down the aisle.

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  • Why give someone the benefits that is only meant until after you get married? Your giving them something becfore they even showed that they commit to you 100%

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    • Trades sex for commitment hmmmm, sounds like prostitution.

  • I feel it's best to not only have se but live with the person for a while. Otherwise you could find you're incompatible.

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  • I prefer to have sex after marriage. That's just how I feel. You're choice doesn't effect me. my virginity is important to me once it's gone you can't get it back. I'd like to save it for my husband

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  • I would want to wait because your virginity is very important. Yoibdint want the wrong person taking it just to take it and run. Very valuable

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  • Yes its compulsory because you have to know the person fully before u marry him for life

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  • Though it may be fun you are putting your self at risk in the long run, Do you know the amount of risks for STIs your getting your self into just by having different partners

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    • You realize these things can be detected?

    • But not all are

    • We take risks everyday of our lives, it's simply the natural course of things. Outright refusal of sex before marriage can be very harmful in a relationship, dating for years only to have it thrown away because three months into marriage he has herpes and didn't bother to tell you.

  • Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

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    • But we are talking about sex before marrige or not why did you filled animals 😂and there milk 😎

  • I'd like to wait to have some period of time to understand if we need each other

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  • I'm Christian and I was raised to wait. I tried, but it's hard, and I didn't make it.

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  • I don't know because it's too late to decide. lol 😂

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  • If you wait til marriage and don’t like it but then you can’t just leave.

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