Why do most men become violent when rejected?

Women get rejected too, so why is that men feel the need to get aggressive when they are told No? Honestly I feel like it would make much sense if it was the other way around😐

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Most men? Outside of one family member, I've maybe known two or three guys who would ever get angry and bitter enough to where I thought they could possibly get violent over a rejection. I'd say in my whole life.

    I've known too many women who have been raped, so sure, it happens... but I'm not seeing "a lot of guys" (and none I know) doing anything violent, at least that I hear of. I know more men who get bitter and angry over it, and to a point of being VERY creepy... but even that's been pretty rare... and none of my friends do it.

    Who knows why some guys get violent? Some get abused from day one. Some grew up around a violent parent, and continue the cycle because they think it's normal (it's not, obviously)... some have HUGE mental issues, and no social clue... Not that any of that makes it ok. I'm just giving possible explanations as to why is COULD happen.

    But, like I said, I don't personally know a lot of guys who even get all that bitter and angry.

    I know a ton of guys who if they get out of line, they'll know enough to back off and apologize immediately; and it's rare that they get THAT far out of line. Many of those guys also have friends who wouldn't stand for that crap and would immediately call them on it if they DID start that.

    You just be hanging out with the wrong guys... because I don't think that any of that is "normal."

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  • I’m not sure about “most” but there are indeed men who get violent or enraged when rejected. I believe this is because these men feel that they aren’t good enough or that the woman that rejected them thinks she’s all that. I think men with a negative outlook on women, perhaps direct experience, are more apt to respond in an aggressive manner towards rejection. It’s a sad thing because, these men are probably good people, but their experiences with women have left them reacting in a rather undesirable manner. I believe this can be remedied by more positive encounters with women.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Most men do not become violent when they are rejected - they respect the woman's decision or try to court her by being extremely nice and giving her things and selflessly serving her. If you think most men become violent then you are hanging out with the wrong type of men.

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  • Most men aren't meant to reproduce. Back in the days before structured society, 1 man reproduce for 17 women. Things were unstable so monogamy became a thing to solve this imbalance. Today, the society is shifting and since there is more liberation toward female sexuality (which is a good thing), some problems arise and society just don't know how to solve them yet. Honestly, the violence is a biologic instinct I believe. Competition. I'm not expert but that's how I interpret it. I did a B. A in Anthropology.

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    • I love love this and the poster is way too hot to be messing with a guy who’s not a man so she may need to up her standards

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    • Yes hard truth produce long term valuable lessons

    • I am a proud asshole I have rules for dating and I don’t break them.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 143

  • No, that would be very unusual (and scary).

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  • Most? Ok let's not exaggerate. Unfortunatley there are more men who are violent with rejection than one wished there would be. I wish no one became aggressive or violent after rejection. But yes many more men are aggressive and viiolent compared too women with rejection. There's layers to that with culture and biology though a lot is culture

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  • Most men become violent when rejected?
    Can you document this claim?

    The way the general culture is in regards to dating etc. Is set in such a manner as to where a certain level of aggression in men is required as they have to be the pursuers and demonstrate assertive behavior to the female who is expected at least at first reject the pursuers to demonstrate virtue the male is expected to persist to demonstrate some commitment till the female seems him worthy and accepts
    That is the culture and it is not doing any of us any favours... men and women both keep this culture alive
    But when signals gets misunderstood along the way or one or other party believes they did everything as they were supposed rand was emotionally invested in it but end up getting rejected they feel hurt and will react accordingly and both genders do this and either turns to self destructive behavior or outward aggression
    Perhaps it is so that makes may tend a little more towards the outward aggression... It would make sense but I cannot say for certain if this is true

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  • I don't believe that it's most. It might be most in a given area, or online, but that is not necessarily a fair representation of society.

    The ones that go get aggressive are just insecure and bitter. The brief moments where they pretend to be pleasant are an act. When you reject them you get to see all the toxicity underneath.

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  • Most? Yikes. That's a clear overstatement, and its not a "men" thing. Women do it too, but since women don't usually get rejected in the first place its a lot less common. I'm kind of tired of being painted as a violent, abusive animal. When people like you say dumb shit like this, gullible people believe it and start a mob mentality.

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  • I've been rejected my whole life, but I'd never take it out on a girl :/ If she doesn't like me, she shouldn't go out with me. Besides, I'd want to go out with someone who actually likes me, not someone who's forced to act like they like me.

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  • I love generalizing

    Why do all women ask questions like this?

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  • I think your pool of guys is to narrow to generalise - not many guy become voilent when rejected I think. They get hurt, sad etc. but most guys has learned to handle these feelings in other ways that with violent behavior.

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  • Because they’re Salty and butt hurt after a rejection lols. I actually find it to be fun to add salt to their wounds by saying more hurtful things to them when I meet these kind of people just to see how far I can go with it until they break down and start crying lols

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  • Fragile egos that can't handle a rejection. Getting rejected sucks and if you dont have good self esteem it can really hurt. most men if in public will react to hurt with anger as a defense mechanism.

    I'm not intending to excuse the behaviour just help you understand it better.

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  • What men? The crazy ones? Most guys get rejected, many times! You deal with it, and move on! Only nut-jobs get violent, or go shoot kids in schools, like one of the recent shootings!
    Crazy dudes get violent, not normal guys!

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  • some men, when feeling powerless, resort to violence to rid themselves of that feeling. being rejected is pretty disempowering for a guy.

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  • the ones that do are the ones that generally don't find her to be in his league... so they get annoyed when a girl they feel in a lower league is rejecting them
    no one cares about someone better looking than you rejecting you, thats expected

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  • Honestly, if a guy gets violent when they get rejected they should be locked up or get the shit beat out of them. I've been rejected too, but never turned violent. These guys have mental issues and should go to a shrink or take some meds or something... they honestly disgust me.

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  • I wouldn't say "most" men, but a few of them instead. They are immature and dont understand that the world doesn't revolve around them. The girl has every right to reject you (you, as in the guys whp get violent), and you are not as good as you think. Suck it up.

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  • Life is too short egostic and foolish person. when he or she get angry when their expetns or realty boths r opposites.. its main cause here for confusion.. today If a sexy beautiful girl make a frnd (boy) then the boy lost his sense.. he lost in dreams even he not to trying her feelings... and also not try to ask from her which kind of our reltnship.. here is the main problems.. foolish person just lost sense

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  • Um, they dont?

    Your premise is bullshit.

    Next question..

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  • This is from an outsiders' view. I hear so much about this that I won't even bother trying to ask. It is the only slightly good thing about arranged marriages.
    You are not the first person they asked and they have much more pressure on them to ask. You ask one guy, get rejected and it will be fine. Ask a 100 guys, get rejected, get constant contradictory adivice about why you are failing, keep trying and then try not to feel frustrated. Aslo, if you fail you are a looser, no pressure.

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  • Voilent? Aggressive? 😂😂 why, what do you have that no other female doesn't have? Worse case senario (IF you are better looking than halle berry and have the worse attitude ever) worse men would just say f u and move on. Lol what is voilent and aggressive about that? I think you're expression of word is unnecessarily and overly exaggerated. Drama queen teen ager😂

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  • I have handled more rejection that I could swallow at times. Not once did I become violent. Where do you get this information from?

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  • don't act like women don't get aggressive when rejected dude xD rejection is basically hurting their feelings and aggression is most peoples natural first rejection to being hurt. if it happens to me, i try to be understanding. after all nobody likes to be rejected.

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  • I disagree, most men don't. Its just small proprotion. If that was the case girls would simply start avoiding guys but that's not the case. Just because small proportion of girls act like a bitch we don't call all girls bitches :)

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  • Well y'know. This whole "asking permission" thing is relatively new from an evolutionary standpoint. It can be a bit overwhelming for our caveman brains. Sometimes the impulse to go for the club is just too much.

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  • "Most men" you've met must be narcissistic assholes because that's the only reason any man would get violent when rejected. Stop being attracted to arrogant alpha-males whose gene pool skipped the Renaissance and Enlightenment.

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  • We don't, and some women do get aggressive. I had a girl try to get my attention at a bar, and when I didn't respond to her screaming "Hey guy!" about ten times in a row, she poured her drink down the back of my shirt.

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  • Any man who becomes violent or uncontrollably emotional when they're rejected are not men, they are immature mama's boys who have never been told no or punished for misbehaving.

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  • Most men I mean I have been regected numerous times and have been called creepy by numerous girls and I have never gotten violent. I will admit guys are more sensitive to these issues than girls are

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  • Most men don't hit things when they get rejected. They get angry often as they detest their failure but very rarely do they get violent with people because of that.
    What is your source for this "over 50% of men attack people when rejected" stat?

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  • Because there mad and in some situations like in public are showing off in front of people and in private situations some men just haven't been taught manners and don't respect there own mother so they don't respect no woman

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  • I think the pretense of this question is founded on preassumed notions based on, at the very least, anecdotal experiences and probably (even if I can't verify it) false perception based on self importance.

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What Girls Said 31

  • Not all of them, but for the ones who do it's a case of male entitlement. Ego stuff I think. I don't think it's a gender thing because some girls do the same too, but I suppose it is more common in guys, which could be explained because of the whole concept of masculinity and the ego that they need to retain which is all instilled into them as a result of many factors (could be environment, influence from media, etc)

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  • I think its because men have the whole pride thing, I mean girls don't like to be rejected either but suppose both genders are wired differently and so they react differently. I find that men get aggressive because a no is a knock to their ego which is a big NO for men

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  • Most men? I don’t know what men you have around you but it sounds like a toxic environment.

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  • wait why would it make more sense if it was the other way around?

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  • Cause those kind of guys feel entitled and because rejection hurts/bruises the ego. Nobody likes rejection, makes you feel like you're not attractive enough or something. But not all guys respond that way, there are respectful ones who back away.

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  • I’ve seen a few women have a whole tantrum before from rejection. That’s a big generalization!

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  • First, let me start off by saying, no, most men are not like that.
    Next, They are immature idiots who probably have mommy issues and call themselves "nice guys".

    Any guy that calls himself "nice", has a very ugly side

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    • Or they are just... nice. You know there are actual nice guys who are actually just nice guys. Right?

      I call myself a nice guy. And I don't have an ugly side that I'm aware of. Or I wouldn't call myself a nice guy.

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    • This "nice guy" dick i was sucking for free without anything in return (no $$, pussy licks or even good convos bcs he only talked when he wanted his dick suck). I got tired of getting nothing in return and he the guy that once called himself nice reacted badly calling me a whore and blocking me all on social media. Because i said i didn't want to suck his dick. Wow. Also he acted as if he was doing me a favor by allowing me to suck his dick when it was his desire to being with. I hate guys i am officallt a lesbian

    • @c0ral_reef Well that guy *sucks*... But seriously he does. Good thing you dumped him.

      Trust me that guy is not the normal example of men in general. At least the men that I know. There's a lot of decent guys, odd but decent guys, and actual nice guys out there. That guy's an ass.

  • Definitely not most men.
    I did have a boyfriend that went all crazy when I told him that I was leaving him.
    That shit was scary.

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    • Why did u tease him that u were leaving? he was desperate person?

    • @alimusharfx111 because he was verbally abusive.
      He also hated my friends and family, he didn't care that my dad ended up in hospital with a heart condition.
      So I left , but he stalked me, called me, texted me, sent emails and letters once he realised that I changed my phone number.

  • Some men and women get violent. I think the people who get rejected are spoiled and isn't used to not getting what they want

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  • I've dealt with 2 guys I broke up with becoming violent. But I also broke up with 2 that just walked away. Maybe it's just your experience.

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    • Now what do u think about those guys who become violent and angry at u and those who just walk away? Do u think something good or bad about them?

    • I don't think the 2 guys that became aggressive were bad people. They just needed to learn and grow. Same with the guys that walked away. When things don't work out we take whatever lessons we can from it. I learned not to trust so easily or ignore big red flags. I was young and naive. I think one of the violent guys ended up in jail for something else. But I heard he was doing good once he got out. Maybe he needed jail to turn himself around.

  • Defensive insecurities kicking in with a dash of hormones.

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    • Ooh must of ruffled some feathers ;)

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    • Ya that's why I see your point. Just it didn't in this case and ya. I should've known why. 🤷

    • Alright then.

  • “Most” don’t, only a very very small handful of men react violently.

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  • I’ve only had maybe two men actually get what I’d call aggressive after I rejected them. Some of them would get a bit bitchy and immature but I wouldn’t say aggressive.

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  • I don't know but it's kinda dumb tbh. I've been rejected by just about every guy and I never went back to call them a name or to react violently.

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  • I've never had a man get violent when I rejected him, not physically. I only eve had severe threats from one, but he was pretty much a stalker.

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  • Most? That is a massive exaggeration.

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  • I have seen this but I fell men are more persistent when they are rejected like they need to prove their manliness 💪🏾

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  • Most? nah some. and nowadays girls like to be bitches when rejecting dudes so I'd understand why.

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    • Yeah u r right , now a days girls behavior are changing , horrible things is that change is not in a good way. I can't understand why there is sudden change in girls behavior?

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    • Thanks my new friend , I am already following but I still can't send u private messages. U first need to open the convo box..

  • That's kind of a generalization. But, it's true that A LOT of men do. It's usually because they're insecure and feel entitled to something.

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  • Because they can force you by using their strengh/ aggressiveness..
    Its just another technic..

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  • Tiny men have the tallest egos.

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  • Small egos

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  • narcissistic

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  • Ego issues

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  • I wouldn't say violent but upset

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  • Um, girls do too.

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  • I get aggressive when I rejected too

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  • Their ego was shattered

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  • Do they?

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  • Their ego

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