Why would he hide his intelligence from me but not from his other guy friends?

So I liked the same guy for 2-4 months before he told me he had a very in the gifted program in high school which only accepts the top 1-2% of all students but he always described himself as if he was a dumb loser that I didn't think much of it and today I was talking to one of his friends about him and his friends say he is super smart. So why would he act dumb around me? We used to e-mail each other and one day I said "You sound smart cause you were in the gifted program in high school and your brother is studying a program that only accepts 1-2% of all applicants to the program and after I made that comment about his money earning potential, he stopped e-mailing me and I bothered him many times about it but now - even after 2 months of dating - he still refuses to e-mail me because I made that comment about his ability to become rich later on. He only talks to me through text and facebook and face to face communication - refused to e-mail me ever since I mentioned he was smart and acted so dumb around me and even talked about how he seemed dumb to his family!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He thinks you are a golddigger now.

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What Guys Said 37

  • I assume he hid that detail because he doesn't want everyone to judge him based solely on that. I assume in his life people stop being genuine or even try ti take advantage of him. In any event it is his business and he can keep anything he wants to himself until warranted. Your problem is that you involved money into your comment which is pretty disrespectful. He never told you about that and he never asked you about it. He's not the one who changed... you are.

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  • Here’s an alternative theory, you emailed his work email which has no guarantee of privacy and for which he might have gotten in trouble for receiving private emails or he didn’t want his employer to think he was a flight risk. A company thinks you are going to leave it severely hampers your ability to move up or get good assignments/clients/whatever

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  • I do this a lot. I am an engineer and securities investor. If I’m trying to bang a girl that teaches 4th grade she rules over people that are 9 and this makes her think she is intelligent. I have nothing much to say so I talk about dumb shit and flatter her with high school games it works every time. If I try to talk to her about the return on equity of a small lube oil plant in India I’ll never connect or get laid

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  • Why would talk only about his money?
    First he isn't rich yet, second even if he were so rich, he a giy before being a wallet
    If you said he smart, may he felt (as myself) that you're attracted mostly by money than anything that could be important to him

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  • Because dumb guys are popular and popular guys get the girl.
    It's the old what women want is usually the opposite of what they say they want. (i. e. "nice guys finish last" meets "why can't I find a nice guy")

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  • Their is something wrong with what you said, he doesn't like people knowing about his career prospects, or what income might be. Best not discuss that with him.

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  • It always bowls down to confidenciality and trust with information. In his shoes i would not tell a girl who uses social media about my field of expertise. What you're doing here is clear evidence.

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  • I'm kinda the same way, except for being in the top 1-2% of all students. For me, it's easier to act dumb until you needa put your smarts to the test. He may not like that topic as well, if anything just take the other three ways of communication. 3 is better than none, and let's be honest, those other three are easier and more popular forms of communication anyways

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  • he wanted to be liked as just another boy you know. I don't know if money talk did at the high school level But it does bring the smart t hing up again. he may just be tired of the smart giy thing that I'n sure h is parents bring up all the time.

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  • I think he may have mixed feelings about you and doesn't know how to express them or he is trying to get you to feel bad for him or he is lying straight up about liking you and emailing you he could if been playing with your heart and feelings

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  • You mentioned his ability to make money
    That makes you sound like nothing but a gold digger who wants nothing but an easy life with all the benefits of a rich husband

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  • He wants you to like him for his personality not his money. He probably doesn't care to be rich and just wants a real love life.

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  • Trying to avoid the pressures/expectations that naturally accompany this label, among many other reasons...

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  • Once you brought up the fact that he could make a lot of money later on because he's smart turned him off. When a girl talks like that I am instantly turned off because we think all you care about is money... don't chase money chase love.

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  • Saying someone is smart based on that really is stupid. Just take him as he is. Maybe he doesn't want to be the smart ass people think he is. His family may be pressuring him, so don't you do it too.

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  • Probably he thinks you are dumb and in that case not showing his intelligence can be in two cases:
    1) he really loves you and dont wanna hurt you.
    2) He just wanna bang you and showing his intelligence might lower his prospects for that

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  • How is it a woman can be angry at a man for not saying anything? But if he would she expects more from him and want him to be at his full potential consistently? I understand the mothering scenario but he is not her child.

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  • a lot of goys act like that infront of girls because boys think that they are being cute infront of girls and that the girls like those boys
    But boys don't tell these things to anyone even there male friends

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  • Tell him indirectly that you are not after him because of his earning potential.

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  • So he's still talking to you? Or dating you? Maby he just doesn't like email or doesn't wanna be labled a nerd. Or maby he's just humble

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What Girls Said 2

  • Highly intelligent people sometimes do that to 'match' the IQ level of people they need/have to associate with so that the other party will not feel dumb.

    Since he is so smart, his family members could be of the same or higher IQ level than him so he might be considered the 'dumb' one in comparison.

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  • ask him

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