Should people date if they are struggling financially?


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Most Helpful Guys

  • I've said this before: a relationship (or even pre-relationship dating) is something that you have to EARN in a number of different ways. Most people have to do SOMETHING to prepare for dating, and some people have a lot more work to do than others.

    Whether you have to get a job and save money, find some decent clothes, clean your room, move out of your parent's house, or address your own physical or mental health issues, you need to get yourself to the point where you can date/be in a relationship on a sustained basis without causing long-term harm.

    Financially, that means being able to afford to date without being unable to pay your bills or without having to drain your savings or go into debt. If you can't do that, you aren't in a position to date yet, and you need to focus on resolving that issue BEFORE you try to date.

    That doesn't mean that "dating" involves 5-star restaurants, expensive events, and fancy trips - there's nothing wrong with a picnic or a hike or a movie at home - but dating is ALWAYS going to cause SOME extra expense, whether that's gas money, food, clothes, makeup, or whatever, and you need to be able to afford those things on an on-going basis without cratering your finances, or you just shouldn't do it until you can.

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    • If I asked this question, I'd make this the best answer. I think you hit the nail on the head.

  • Finances shouldn't influence who you choose to date; it's a matter of finding someone who's highly compatible and is devoted to you. Having a stable income will matter eventually in order to live an independent life together but for dating purposes, it's the phase of getting to know someone to find out if you're a match for them or not. If dating came down to financial stability as a major factor for qualifications of finding a match, there would be a lot more people who'd be single including myself!

    Situations vary for everyone based on their life choices and some people may not be financially ready at the start of the relationship. If they are making an effort to show independence by doing chores, going to school, apply for jobs and such, that's a good sign they are taking the relationship seriously and want a future together with you. With a bit of planning and communication, I'm sure there can be compromises and ideas to work out a budget plan for a healthy financially future together!

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    • I like this answer the most. I agree 100%. I don't think I can even add more to this. MHO 👆

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    • Says the dude that will never be rich. I would never date a girl that didn’t make 75 grand a year or more and single moms are out. I also pay attention to her debt.

    • @pipeliner78 I don't need to be rich to have a fulfilling relationship although making enough for all your bills plus a little extra is recommended for a healthy one in the long run. I'm glad you're setting your expectations high so you don't suffer from financial problems! There are plenty of women out there who make the amount you want; it's just a matter of finding them :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • You can date without spending money if you are both okay with not spending money and both equally broke. For example - a trip to the library - a $1.00 tea from McDonalds or a $1.00 coffee from Mcdonalds which is free refill or a walk in the park to look at trees and bodies of water - or a trip to some nearby hill to take turns climbing the hill as a form of weight loss or a trip to a free meditation class together

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  • I don't see how finances have anything to do with dating. Long term, if the couple is going to marry, it has an effect, but no one should stop dating because they don't have money. They might ruin their chances of meeting their match, if they stop dating for a reason like that.

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    • Well someone has to cash out for the dating activity and that is usually the guy. So from a girls perspecitive, her own finances doesn' t matter but how will she judge a guy that can not afford a dinner?

    • Why does the couple have to do dating activities that cost, if either is struggling financially? There are plenty of things to do for free.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 54

  • I think they should. Although the question can be interpreted in more ways than one, I think in all circumstances people should date.

    It could be that financial struggles take away from a guy's confidence. That shouldn't be the case, because the attractiveness comes from the ability to gain accsess to resources, not necesarily from having them. Being useful is more important than being rich. And there are even more important things, such as humor and a positive outlook.

    On the other hand if we're talking about a couple that is suffering financially, they should definetly continue to date. Because that will enable them to find comfort in each other's company without the distraction of materialistic goods and expensive entertainment and it will also allow them to learn to overcome these sorts of difficulties together and grow their relationship despite the barrier of inconvenience.

    The strongest couples have at least once gon throug a tight finantial period in their history and stayed together.

    there's a lot more to be said about the value of dating while constrained in this and other ways, but to answer the question this is enough.

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  • Sure, it doesn't cost much to go for a walk in the park or around the block, but things to do tend to run out quickly. And one of the biggest complaints for couples is complacency, which is sometimes just a lack of funds in disguise.

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  • It depends on the people the relationship they want to form and a whole other variety of factors.

    One success story I heard what the relationship of Ethan and Hila from the channel H3H3 on YouTube. They both had absolutely nothing but love but somehow made it work because they stuck together and made it out through the support of one another.

    Im going to remain neutral on this one. It really depends on the the situation.

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  • As for me, money is vital. Money is important in making a girl happy. You can have all the six packs, the longest thickest dick but if you are broke it won't get you more than a couple of rounds of meaningless sex.

    By broke I mean, having no money and having no skill or potential to make wealth in the nearest future.

    If you don't want to be heart broken... don't date, have friends... friends with benefits if you like but don't fall in love.

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  • Love has nothing to do with money. Chemistry and mutual attraction are all that matters. If "financial stability" is part of your checklist then that's all you though. You're free to choose who you want to be with.

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  • Probably not. As a guy you should be prepared to spend some money and dating can be quite expensive over time.

    Also as a girl if you have no money and only date to get free stuff, well then you're a gold digger...

    If you can't afford it don't do it, I think that's pretty simple to understand.

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  • Money didn't really have an object to do with dating there's always a way around things if there's a will you can do it not having enough money is just an excuse.

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  • That's a tough question. Personally I don't feel as if I should date unless I'm financially stable. I'm old fashioned. The man is the provider and protector. However, I do know a lot of people who had nothing and struggled while dating for many years and ended up building up their finances together and are happily married. It's possible going through that struggle and leaning on each other for support made their relationship that much stronger. However, as I've seen in the other comments below, I agree a lot of women do want a financially stable guy. They consider a financially stable guy to have their life together. And being financially stable while starting a relationship does make the relationship that much more easy to start and keep.

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  • If you won't date me when I'm poor, I won't want you when I'm rich.

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  • Ehhhh say you have broke Nate and broke Chloe who both can barely afford to pay their bills after rent.

    They get together and move in and suddenly their housing costs are slashed a nice bit.

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  • Yeah if he is poor for whoredom
    Whe he meet true love
    Sex is free that help him a lot.

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  • For dating it's not that important, however, for marriage it is crucial that partners are 100% on the same page.

    A majority of marriages end due to money fights and money problems.

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  • Yes. My whole life I've let excuses like this hold me back. But life is short.

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  • Fools, a brinks truck never fallows a hurst. They bury people not money.

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  • Love is love and people need support when they are down and out

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  • Definitely love does not require money. It requires dedication and commitment.

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  • Money shouldn’t have anything to do with finding true love.

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  • Probably not. Thats how you end up either stuck with someone you dont want to be with or ruining the chance by not having your shit together

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  • I would never date a girl that didn’t make 75 grand a year or more and single moms are out. I also pay attention to her debt.

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  • You don't have to spend a lot of money as long as the other person understands the situation. Plenty of activities don't cost lots of money.

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What Girls Said 19

  • I don't think dating has anything to do with that unless the other person is with you for money.
    In a long term relationship eventually married they should consider to be on the same page and work through their issue together.

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  • I don’t think you need a lot of $ to date, but eventually if dating leads to something more serious, financial stability may be a factor. Both people should have an understanding of what that may look like for it to work.

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  • You dont have to have a lot of money to date people. And finding "the one" it really important to lots of people, so why not? You dont need to even spend money to call it a date.

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  • I've had a few dates where both me and him didn't have money to go out. So we just hung out and watched a movie at his or my place. Could make dinner too. So yes people should date that don't have extra money.

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    • That's great... but could you put up with that for a year or two if that's what it took for him to get going? What if you ended up having to pay for both of you to do things you wanted to do, rather than having to stay at home all the time?

      The truth is, most women wouldn't accept that for very long. Even if you would, I think you'd agree that most women wouldn't. There is a strong expectation for the man to be able to provide SOME (if not the majority of the) financial support for dates or a relationship.

    • I would hope women would be more practical but you may be right.

  • It shouldn't be a red flag and something that should stop two people from being together, but if it's because they are lazy and don't care about getting money than you shouldn't be with them.

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  • I don't see why not. Finances are a changing thing anyways.

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  • What does money and dating have anything to do with eachother?

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  • Of course. Dating is not related with money.
    Just be sincere and even little unexpensive things can mean world.

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  • Totally, but just budget and probably not live together. And get creative with dates that are cheap or cost next to nothing

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  • If you have any future plans with your partner then it's better to be single

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  • No. Because most men nowadays apparently can't afford it.

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  • No... they should work on themselves firdt... just to make life easier

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  • Sure...
    If their a good match they may be able to make really good money or work out their financial troubles together

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  • If they really want to

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  • Yes. Why not? Can't poor people date?

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  • Sure. But you need to be able to make it work.

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  • Why not?

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  • No..

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  • I don't see why not? What about money says you can't have a romantic connection with someone?

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