Why do some women expect their bf/husband to be their "bestfriend"?

Men and women are different physically and mentally (duh). For that reason I don't get why some women expect their SO to be the person they vent to every day, be there best friend, and be as sympathetic as women. To me it doesn't make sense cause men dont perceive things the same as women, and will not give advice that women see functional in most cases. Shouldn't women only ask other women for advice cause they are better at relating to the situation and how they perceived it?
Why do some women expect their bf/husband to be their

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I vent to women, they throw their emotional outbursts to me and/or just comfort.
    When I vent to men I actually get logical solutions and they make me feel stronger by supporting/encouraging me. The male mind is wired like that.
    The meaning of husband to me is lover+bestfriend.

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    • If my current girlfriend were to ask me what i think about a situation or how I would handle it I would answer it. My experience with this is i had an ex girlfriend and female friends in college who would hate my answer cause any drama they brought up to me I would just say "Instead of the playing cold shoulder confront her to tell her why your pissed off at her, and if you argue and never make up she wasn't a good friend." Their response was usually "that's not what's girl's do." In my current relationship my girlfriend talks to her older sister about those things likely cause she's the only one who has grown up with my girlfriend from day 1.

    • They are toxic. I don't know, I love the way men are and I prefer to talk with men than with women. Not into the drama and bullshit.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I thought that they technically would be best friends?

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    • I think your SO should be the person you are closest too in life in a straight relationship, but a man likely won't have the same initial feeling about a situation and ideal reaction that a women would. I wouldn't as my girlfriend how to handle passive aggressive coworker cause I hers would. be more subtle. If I did that approach I would still be bothered and make it more direct verbal confrontation.

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    • "Cause I know her approach would be more subtle"

    • I am not even implying my method would be better cause men do dumb things and testosterone can make a situation much worse. It is just I wouldn't let something go until I argue out the bothersome feeling and make my point clear.

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What Girls Said 22

  • I didn't expect it in any way, but my boyfriend still is my best friend.

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    • I prefaced with some for a reason lol. I just noticed this with my ex girlfriend compared to my current girlfriend. My ex would become angry when I didn't see a situation the same way and recommend a way of handling it she saw useful. My current girlfriend doesn't even ask and calls her sister cause they are both women and generally have a differint (sometimes better) way of handling it.

  • So what you're saying is that a boyfriend should only be there when we need to f*ck? No, honey, it doesn't work like that. If you want a woman to love you you have to be there for her, listen to her rants, support her and still love her. I'm not saying you should be the one she discusses EVERYTHING with, but you must be someone she can talk to when she needs to. Your advice might not be as helpful, but it will be greatly appreciated. Also, who tf told you women give better advice than men?

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  • Some partners lack the ability to be that amazing best friend. If you can’t handle that role it’s absolutely best to be very honest that you have zero intention of being her best friend, confidant, supporter, lover, family. You can only be one then be sure she gets that. Then she won’t be let down & you will never feel pressure to be more than you feel you are capable. Personally my fiancé and I are closer than even my bff of several years. We discuss everything together openly. Dreams, fears, stress, issues, other friends, relatives, work and anything else that comes to mind. We’re the best of friends not because we always agree or that we think the exact same. But because we truly enjoy each other’s company above anyone else’s. We trust in each other with everything we are. We value and respect the differences we have as our individual selves. Some don’t want their partner as a best friend. I personally think they might be missing out but so long as both people are happy with each other then to each their own.

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  • I feel like only asking women for advice would lead to very one-sided advice. I like asking my partner for his advice because he often offers opinions and solutions that I had never considered and I feel like I do the same for him. That's important to me.

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  • In that case, you don't understand the purpose of true partnership. Friendship is the foundation of any twosomeness, romantic or not, and implies much more than venting and talking about girl or boy stuff. If you can't give or take advice in a relationship, you never had one to begin with. Men and women complement each other, and can give each other perspective that the other may not have thought of.

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  • Because if you love be that person you should be eachothers lifeline/ diary. Even best friends don't always see the same way. It's about finding that one person who can be both. I mean you're talking rest of your life with bf/ husband so why not make me ur best friend? You'll find that person someday and then you will understand. (I hope)

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  • You can have more than one best friend. What are you 5 years old?

    My boyfriend is my best friend, I can tell him everything and anything. I also have female best friends that I can tell anything and everything too.

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  • Well I don't they should "expect" their boyfriend to be their best friend but I think in a relationship your S/O should find comfort in you no matter the opinion. Sometimes women don't need your advise but rather that you listen and comfort. You're pretty young so keep in mind that everyone is different and that means that gender alone won't be a deciding factor for their opinions.

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  • For me my partner is my best friend, I tell him the things that bother me and he does the same. I love and trust him more than anyone else, and as the person who knows me best. He's wonderful at coming up with advice, more so than anyone else. But I don't need an advice machine. We just care for each other emotionally, and not just the ones about us. You just have to try, and care❤️

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  • Why is this even a question a bestfriend should feel like ur soulmate the one u can tell everyone too the one u love and the one that feels like family to u shouldn't a relationship be the same?

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  • When I think of someone being my best friend, I think of someone who I can go on adventures with & tell anything to. Relationships should be like that. You don’t have to be a woman to understand emotion & be empathetic.

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  • I'd ask myself what's wrong if I had only female friends that I talk to about personal stuff. And to me, the "friend" in boyfriend is crucial.

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  • I vent to my fiance all the time and surprisingly he listens and gives me better advice then a female would.
    I think having your other half as your best friend makes the relationship more fun.

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  • If this is the way you think please never get married or date. Being in a relationship is not just for romance, or for income and cooking and cleaning. It's a partnership.

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  • Um...
    "killing two birds with one stone." Because we think if we're always with you, sharing our bodies, our intermost feelings, our trust in you and our lives. Then, with that trust we feel comfortable enough to seek you as a personal confidante and a close friend = best friend. Sometimes, same sex friends spurs competition and jealousy. Having a male best friend that isn't our boyfriend can also spur competition, jealousy and disrespect So, in lieu of that we seek all in our SO, as a one man show.

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  • Maybe because they want to share everything with their partner and be together all the time?

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  • Opinions are not gender related, each human being has different opinion. There will be a group of people who think a like or share same opinion, that would be due to different reasons (not necessarily due to gender). I have a lot of friends who are guys and some of my best friends are guys. The point is I understand why your other half would like to be friends with you as you would naturally spend a lot of time together and this would naturally happen that you would become friends as well, as you begin to understand eachother inside and out. However it is unfair for you to expect for women to ask for advice from women only. But that is just my opinion...

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  • No. My boyfriend is my best friend at the same time. We have a strong bond. Even through sometimes he doesn't understand the female mind , and I dont understand some guy things , we teach each other this things. Just because we have different bodies and mentality. We still understand each other more than everyone else does. I dont expected him to be my best friend. But after 2 years we wouldn't be together if we were just "bf and gf" and I mean just having s3x , just kissing and fake conversations because "im too ashamed to tell my bf/gf" , neah. If you want a long term relationship , you become everything for the other person , even parent material

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  • Partners are supposed to be best friends

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  • They’re delusional

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What Guys Said 17

  • I want to be my girlfriend's best friend. I want to be the one she tells stuff, the one she always opens up to and the one who she always relies on.
    Most men want that from their girlfriends and vice versa. Usually, the most successful relationships are between best friends.

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  • Man... you are really missing out on one of the most beautiful, special, and critical parts of having a relationship with a woman. Sharing their daily life struggles is a big part of how women bond. As her partner, she would hope that you are someone she can be vulnerable with..

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  • From my own personal experience, if a woman wants to vent to her SO, she doesn't usually want him to help out or advise her on whatever situation she's talking about, she just wants him to listen. You barely even have to say anything. Just let her know that you care

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  • You should be your girlfriend's permanent source of comfort my dude
    It's your job as her boyfriend to make her feel as most comfortable as possible, try your hardest to solve her problems, and if you're not enough to help, accompany her when she gets help from someone else, so you can learn and be able to solve her problems in the futurr for a better, more stable relationship in the future

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  • The whole idea of being in a relationship and in love is that you come to know the other person very, very well, and understand how they think an feel, so basically, no.

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  • I thought it was the opposite. I thought if you were best friends with a girl, she would find that a major turn-off, hence the "friendzone."

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  • Because sometimes you're shy to tell them some secrets which you can easily describe to your friends! That's why you want to share all your things to your boyfriend.

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  • Because it's the person they or you are going to spend each other's lives with if you decide to get married. They don't want to bored. Girls want you to keep them interested at all times.

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  • They have the pussy if u want access to it u have to deal with their crap

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  • I would absolutely expect my girlfriend to be my best friend.

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  • Wow I don't think I am realy that different to my girlfriend. I hope I am her best friend and I think I am

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  • It's pretty important that you are a good friend with your partner.

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  • They spend most of their time with each other its no surprise to think like that

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  • I am not expected to be the best friend... We are just best friends.

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  • I dont' see anyting wrong with that.

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  • All romantic love is, is best friends who fuck.

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  • It is strange. When my girlfriend and I were just friends, she would tell me all sorts of stuff and did not care. She liked that and felt comfortable doing that. '

    When we transitioned to a romantic relationship, that all changed. She becomes very anxious telling me certain things. I told her once upon a time, she could tell me these things without a care, why did this change? She told me it is because she is worried what I will think of her. She might scare me away.

    It has been years now, and while there are times she vents, most often she saves that for other GF's or friendzoned guys. It is really strange, and while I understand it, it makes me wonder about her.

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    • And PS- She still refers to me as her best friend! Even though she feels more comfortable telling certain things to other people than me!

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