Why are you so freaking scared to approach your crush?

Why are you so freaking scared to approach your crush?
  • Rejection Bro
    Vote A
  • I have zero confidence
    Vote B
  • I don't deserve to have my crush in my life
    Vote C
  • I approach anybody at anytime.. I am fearless
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girls

  • There's this cute guy in our building and I always find an excuse to strike up conversation. He's really nice and speaks to me but gives no indication he finds me attractive. I easily strike up conversations with guys but they either aren't picking on that I like them or they aren't into me.

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    • Why not be more direct when talking to them?

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    • Get him food say you made to much of it for yourself and your family Works all the time

    • Hmmmmm... OK:)

  • I'm shy. I have zero confidence. Rejection. What else?

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    • You tell me.. what else?

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    • Back that last one up. The only credible thing on your list is the girlfriend. The other is manifested within you or your clouded view of the situation. But the girlfriend is a very real obstacle for sure.

    • Thank you for the MHO 😊

Most Helpful Guys

  • "Coach" Sounds like we are on the same page, and about the same age!!

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    • We are definitely the same age!

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    • Same thing for me. Hoping I help more than confuse, when they are so young they can't understand!
      Do you answer under 18 questions, and if you do, how do you decide what to say, so it isn't something that some crazy parent might find, and freak out, and report you?

    • If the profile said's under 18 I usually don't.. vary vary rare.

  • I used to be in the rejection category. Then I changed my way of thinking. I got tired of beating myself up and rationalizing my fear.
    I thought to myself, I'm a good guy, half decent looking, people enjoy my company. What is she going to do? Say no. If I never talk to her then I already have a no. So, all she can really tell me is yes.
    With all of that, I started approaching - a lot. Got lots of rejections at first. But, got better and figured out what works for me.
    Then I started learning pick up. Yes, I know. But, it really changed things for me. It was more of a self discovery, and helped in every aspect of my life. It's not always about getting girls in bed (even though that's how it's sold). For women, I started meeting, and becoming friends with, of amazing women.
    I will approach any woman anywhere. I still get nervous, it never goes away.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 48

  • I'm not. I don't give a shit.

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  • My biggest issue in approaching new people (whether looking for new friends or dating) is that often they're out with other people and the idea of trying to break into a group dynamic is pretty intimidating.

    I'd be more willing to try if they were alone, but even then I'm hesitant cause I have no idea how to break the ice without coming off as super awkward and making things uncomfortable.

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  • Bad history of being bullied by boys (and girls). Let alone thinking that a guy would actually like me, I can't even imagine a guy not disliking me lol. Girls have slowly become accepting of me, and very recently some guys too, but being different from my peers really causes me a lot of struggle.

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  • Rejection and i didn't have a lot of confidence in myself.

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  • I'm more afraid of getting hurt like always. Comes from experience. You get called ugly, and rejected harshly once and have quite a few bad experiences approaching others, and suddenly, you become afraid of approaching anyone new because some people can be real bitches.

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  • If my crush is around me thenI'll approach them in some way even if it's subtle. I'll try to be their friend or something first. However, what stops me from making a full-on move on them is I'm too prideful. Not scared. I just a stick up my ass and I hate admitting I like them and want to be pursued. I want them to admit they want to pursue me first haha, childish I know.

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  • ill do it. just in case the person has tendency to blow things out of proportion i worry they will misunderstand my intentions, which is awkward. and i hate being misunderstood. which in a world of billions of strangers, is pretty impossible to avoid lol i need get better to not care.

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  • I have a long history of being turned down by guys, of being lead on and then rejected by guys, and of guys in general just being very rude and hostile towards me while being nice and friendly to other women. I also have a long history of being bullied and of people just being extremely hateful and insensitive to me and doing a lot of fucked up shit to me for their own amusement. As a result of all of this, I'm afraid of approaching guys that I'm interested in.

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    • Because you asked them next time just do what you want don't ask.😀

  • Approaching someone puts you in a position of weakness and vulnerability. It takes skill and experience to hide enough of your emotions and protect your ego enough to avoid getting hurt and at the same time stay open enough to look and sound genuine.

    It's a dangerous game on the whole. Being scared is normal.

    My fear is getting hurt. So I voted A.

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  • A mix of rejection, low confidence, and I don't think I'm good enough for any guy

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  • The few guys I approached were players or I ended up not liking them after talking a bit. I don't think I choose well and I don't know what to do about it

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  • I don’t approach my crushes because I know myself. There’s no point in me pursuing something that’s pointless. I’m not scared or fearful. I’m just aware that my crushes don’t last long. It’ll always die out eventually.

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  • Was always a mix of A and B for me. Also the fact that I thought they just wouldn't find me attractive. I had approached crushes in the past and my confidence was shattered when one told me I was too ugly and another told me that nobody wants to date tall girls because they're desperate. That really does a number on you, lol.

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    • Yeah those are shit comments. But they shouldn't define you. You know yourself better than anyone. So fuck what you heard and go after who you want. Until THEY say no, it's never a no really.

    • @MrMysteryMan Oh, it's all in the past now. I was young, they were young, and immaturity was at the forefront. Thankfully a couple of years later I snagged a guy who was right under my nose the whole time, lol. We're married now.

    • @musicbrain5 that’s what I wish would happen to me. My crush is a friend of mine I’ve known since primary , I hopefully will ask him out when I’m older. I know he likes me now but he said to my friend that he wanted to wait til we were older to ask me out...

  • My crushes are my friends. One even knows I like her (and, sadly, doesn't like me back :( ). The other... well, I'm pretty sure he likes me, too, but I can't be certain of it. Plus, he lives three towns away and it'd be creepy of me to scout out his town and try to have a conversation with him...

    So, I'm not 'scared' to approach my crushes. It's just that approaching one would be creepy, and the other's on a trip to Louisiana right now. Lol.

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  • Actually i want to approach him.. But something stops me... Something says me that its not correct.. He might reject you or insult you or embarrasyou in front of everyone... He might love someone else or he might have some prioritiesin his life...

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  • I chose I don't deserve my crush because I always know when things won't work out. And not to mention, 99.9% of high school relationships don't work out so there's no point in him—neither of us investing in an obviously-not-going-to-work-out relationship.

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    • current mood.

    • Let me offer you a different take on the subject. Any relationship is an experience. None is 100% good and none is 100% bad. It is an experience though, and it is life.

      Even people who start a relationship later have a higher than 50% chance that it will fail.

      Also, and this is my very personal view on the subject: teenage years are a formative moment when people learn about love, interaction, seduction, getting over break ups, etc. Missing this moment means missing an opportunity to learn which you cannot go back to when you're older (though that is truer for boys than for girls).

      My brother met his wife in secondary school almost 20 years ago and they're still together, with a kid. Sometimes things do work out.

    • It's not just that I just don't really believe in love especially in teen years. Don't get me wrong thorough, people can make it work just not me.

  • I’m not. I’m ridiculously self confident and if I like someone, I tell them.

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  • I always seem to wreck what we had when I confess to my crushes. They never really see me as friend anymore.

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  • My crush and I are friends but sometimes i get so nervouse bc he is always busy anyways or talking to someone and im afraid that if i go up to him i have nothing interesting to talk about. 😩

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    • Drink with him alone nature will take over and you will win

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    • Slam a soda then

    • Lol alrighty!

  • The last person that I was into, i let them know. And it became a game of "let's see how much I can lead you on and manipulate you."

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What Guys Said 92

  • I never have any trouble at all with telling a woman I'm into her. I mean, that's part of the fun and the thrill.

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  • It’s because rejection fucking sucks! For some of those guys they feel it is better to live the “what if” daydream than to have the dream crushed by a possible rejection

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    • Yeah but I would rather be rejected and understood than be ambiguous in my actions. They need to embrace this type of thinking.

    • Unfortunately it takes multiple rejections to develop this thick skin... and there is no shortcut! Just gotta best through the “no”’s & all the bullshit lies women make up to reject a guy

    • Yeah i totally agree bro.

  • Well
    Confidence can be an issue
    Also fear of rejection
    Though I guess those two are connected
    But also I don't know how to explain it quite... there is an awkwardness to it and I never really know quite what to say to get through that
    Also I just generally have some severe limitations to where I think it is acceptable to do something like that and well I generally don't go that sort of places anymore

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    • Sounds like over thinking at the conversation part - just have to look at the other person as a friend rather than a crush. It logically make sense since a) if you're dating the other person, you guys going to be friends anyway b) the other person is just a nice person. They probably see you in a good light good enough to be friends, if you're not already friends. And finally most importantly c) a wise man (Sean plott) once said that you can make the whole interaction unawkward. This is true because I've tried it and it truly works - I made an effort so the conversation is not awkward, and then me and her just kept everything friendly and casual and normal. So, keep these in mind

  • The last time I was nervous about approaching a crush, I was a college freshman. Otherwise, I no longer understand how an otherwise well-adjusted adult would be scared of approaching a crush. I think the best explanation is having anxiety disorders maybe.

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  • At least for me I would have actually had to already talk to that person to develop a crush. If it comes to a cold approach I dont give a shit about rejection I just dont know what to say, so I dont approach. None on polls really apply to me so i couldn't pick. I think people need to stop giving a fuck about rejection, it happens to everybody no matter how good at pick you are.

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  • Approaching, for a man (haven't thought about the female side of it), is exposing a man's vulnerability. It may be welcomed with love and then it's great, or it may be trampled and that's what happens most of the time.
    That is... If you're a man who cares rather than a man who just tries and tries and tries without giving a fuck about the girls he approaches.

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  • If I have a crush, I'd feel much worse about not approaching her rather than being turned down. If you never act on the crush and don't approach her, you've automatically failed, which is the worst thing possible as far as a crush goes.

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  • Most of my life I would have to choose B, but I think I've overcame that for the most part, so it's D.
    @may04 has a good point here that applies to me too. I don't mind some degree of awkwardness if it's just between me and her, but in a group setting it becomes very uncomfortable.

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  • Cause the last time I did so she ended up pregnant twice, I married her by the way lol

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  • Lack of confidence and fear of rejection. But at this point I don't even want to have a crush. I'm fine without one.

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  • Women dont look at me, and tell me to stop side eyeing them. Im not ugly. Girls that do like me are usually large emo girls, but always miserable people. This girl at work likes me and i think she's cute too however I think something might be wrong with her if she's into me. MOST aren't and the ones that are, are low value women.

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  • Most guys who don't approach inwardly think they don't 'deserve' to approach the girl. They think they are too ugly, too poor, not tall enough whatever.
    They think it's inappropriate to approach the girl because she is in another league.
    That's why guys should work on themselves and not just flirt with girls.
    you won't destroy those limiting self-beliefs just over night.

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  • See no point in approaching females since I can't find them attractive before they show some real interest and make us happen without games and are straight forward.

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  • When you're battin 0 for 100 the rejection is tiresome

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  • 1. I don't have a crush, thankfully.
    2. Because this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGTE_QrgWVs

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  • After being burned so many times you lose feeling and grow numb. Same with being rejected. Of course, I'm always making the moves since girls never want to.

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  • Although I've been told of all these great things i have to offep people. I tend to look at the flaws i know i have.

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  • It's because of: fear of rejection/being afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing

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  • I kind of did and I KIND of got rejected, there's no way to know for sure, but we're still friends, so if she feels that way about me, then the burden is on her to tell me. I won't push it

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  • Fear of failing/getting rejected and looking/feeling like a loser as a result.

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