Why do guys think they can do whatever they want when they're single?

A guy I was talking too left me in his bed to go have sex with his ex girlfriend and his justification was that he's single? Why do guys always act like you could be talking to multiple woman and to justify it you just point out that your single...
Updates:
Also we had both promised to be sexually exclusive to each other.
And he didn't tell me untill the morning when I seen the hickey's...

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Most Helpful Guys

  • He needs his man card taken away and given his shithead card... well have to have the repo crew to take his bits away. That said he's a scum bag. Please dont think were all like that. I am polyamorous but I can be exclusive if promises are made but he sounds like a real winner.

    The lesson is you can find a pile of crap at (insert where you found him). You can think oh well looks good maybe a little rough around the edges and pick it up and bring it home in order to give it a good polish. You can polish it until you can see yourself in its shineyness. At the end of the day its still a pile of crap you found somewhere.

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  • They believe that being single implies that they aren't restricted by responsibilities and guidelines since they aren't in a relationship. It's such a terrible excuse and way of indirectly saying "I'm not committed to you". If this is the kind of attitude he has every time he wants to see another woman, he's going to be single for a long time constantly in non-committed relationships with others and possibly hurting them emotionally when they find out such as yourself. A good man would devote his time to you and never leave you high and dry like that; that they would be courteous and polite enough if anything were to change. People want to feel exclusive, not like they can be used for temporary satisfaction.

    Thankfully not all men are like this but it breaks my heart when so many of them think they can do whatever they want without thinking of potential consequences for their actions such as your situation here. I hope you find more mature men in the future instead of what you just witnessed because he's such a bad example of a respectful man.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • It sounds like he promised to be your fuck buddy, and he still thinks of himself as a free man. And to be technical... he is. So he went and screwed his ex, and you found out and got pissed. Promising to just fuck you was wrong on his part, he should have been clearer you were just a fuck buddy. But to be real with you when a man is single he can do whatever he likes, even if you don't like it.

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  • i mean... he IS single... it may have been a mean thing to do, but as a single man (or if it's a single woman), they don't owe anything to anyone they sleep with. cold hard facts.

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What Guys Said 104

  • Because you aren't his girlfriend, you don't own him, you can't tell him what to do, and if you don't like it, you don't have to sleep with him. As Beyonce says: "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it."
    How can he do this? It's a numbers game. He can do this, because he's in the 20% of guys that women considering above average attractiveness. The remaining 80% of guys are lucky if they manage to get one girl to sleep with them, let alone multiple. I know guys older than you who are virgins and have completely given up on dating, because women won't even give them a chance.
    What you should do is stand up for yourself and not let him get away with it. Tell him what's upsetting you, and how you want to solve the problem. You can negotiate, but don't make compromises if you're not willing to stick to the agreement. Have an honest conversation where you find out what each other really wants, what you're each willing to do to get it, and above all else, be prepared to walk away. I don't know this guy, but if my guesses about him are right, you are not going to like what you learn about him, and you will have to walk away for your own good.

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  • Well he's right, technically, there is nothing you can say. He's single and can have sex with whoever he wants. He's not your boyfriend, he doesn't owe you anything.

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    • Exactly she failed to insure her vagina by not being clear. Of she had sex with him she would just been booty call.

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    • That's disgusting. Sexual exclusivity for boyfriend not booty call. Lol

    • @Band4Life either he's your boyfriend, or he's not. If he's not, he's single, and owe you nothing, as well as you don't owe him anything.
      Next time, if you want a guy to be exclusive, make him your boyfriend and make it official.

  • He must be pretty attractive to have another girl on standby, * just like that*. If you are having casual sex with a hot guy you should probably realize he is a player and has been around the block a few times. Either get him to put a ring on you, or just get more serious about the relationship and become official with him. Or else this will just happen again

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  • Imma give you the best advice that any guy can give you people are only going to do to you what you allow them to do dump him if that's what he thinks of you then move on don't even waste your time anymore and then when you're gone he'll see how good you were and want you back and even if he doesn't he's not your problem anymore you feel me. You're better than this don't let anybody treat you any old kind of way and get away with it

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  • If he keeps doing stuff like this to every woman he meets he’s going to be single for a long time!
    Normally, if someone is in a relationship they don’t do anything with others unless it’s an open relationship. The can still talk to other people but that should be as far as it goes until that relationship is over.

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  • Some guys care, but it really sounds like that guy doesn't care. Of course, he has every right to do what he wants, but that doesn't make him less of a douchebag. If your3 looking for a monogamous relationship you should advertise that and make sure the guy you date knows that and is looking for the same thing before you let him sleep with you. Take care girl.

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  • Well obviously low self respect and a huge lack of respect to women in general.. we, or at least I, would never do something like that to a woman just because I'm single, or ever for that matter.

    He's a j*rk and a loose term of what men should present, my apologies for his behavior.

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  • Did he agree to an exclusive relationship with you? Asking a guy where you stand with him is usually better than assuming you both have the same expectations.

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    • He told me he was going to sexually exclusive to me. And he asked me to be the same.

    • In that case, he lied to you (yes, I am stating the obvious), so you are going to have to decide whether that's acceptable to you or not.

  • A better question would be why are you attracted/caring about a clear douchebag? Most guys don't think like that, I for example, am single and don't do anything even remotely similar to that. We mostly play videogames/sports/other hobbies until we find another girl to date. You just slept with a douchebag, plain and simple.

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  • Because he can, it doesn't mean he's not a jerk but anyone can do whatever the hell they want, he's not obligated to just you because you're not dating, but what really pisses me off about this post is that you're trying to shame men for talking to multiple women while not in a relationship when women do the same thing.

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  • Well, some men are just like that, but there are other guys who do not see women just as sex toys. Me, I prefer to treat women respectfully, I've never cheated on anyone (believe it or not) and I think it's disgusting to be with one woman and having sex with another

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  • The expectation of a guy to be committed to one person (you) is inappropriate, especially in this kind of age and culture. It wasn't wise of you to expect him like that. I wouldn't expect any single person to only sleep with one person for a period of time. It really doesn't surprise me if everyone is like that. As long as I personally can be the commited-serious type of person, I don't care what other people be whatever they want.

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  • A woman can do the exact same thing, too. Just depends on the morals of the person. You're dealing with a person who doesn't want to be exclusive, nor be attached. He doesn't want to have an emotional connection with you. It's up to you if you want to stay around

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  • Because women allow it and almost seem to encourage it. A strong women wouldn't tolerate that. If your not together why would you be in his bed?
    Very weak/no sense of morality has become popular and has been taking over this country for a long time.

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    • Some women don't even know that they're being cheated on

    • Thats true, but now many men and women do know and they don't feel they need to hide it.

      Which the cheating part is bad but no sense of remorse or bragging about it is just as bad. Once you find out you got to get out.

      Why would you want to be with someone that wants someone else.

  • Oh makes my blood boil. Don't put up with that shit! Besides humiliating you, what about STD's? That stupid rat is probably spreading diseases everywhere.

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  • That guy who left you for sex with with his ex is an arse. That’s not any way to treat a girl. Many of us wouldn’t do that.

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    • True. Fully agree. He should have disclosed what he was doing and intended with his relationship before trying to do anything with someone.

    • Read the update. He is a douche.

  • Its not classy, but he is single! He doesn't owe you loyalty unless your together. Im against cheating but unless your an item there aren't any such rules.

    If im sleeping with multiple women then its casual, and i let them know thats itd open ended (for them too). Did he tell you what he was doing?

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    • Ah well i just saw the updates - yeah if youd agreed to be exclusive its a crappy move. You have a choice to make now

  • If you have sex with a guy and you two aren't in a relationship.. Neither one of you are bound, I suppose. 🤔 Though.. It's kinda dirty to blatantly rub it in your face assuming you sound like you like him a lot more than he likes you. I guess maybe he was just looking for sex without commitment and you wanted something more. Girls do that sort of thing too.

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  • Umm... we because we can, and the number of times every guy has had taking a woman seriously blow up in our faces; it's safer to break a few hearts then piss away hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars for the woman to randomly decide that she just isn't feeling it anymore.

    If the tables were turned, guys would be telling you that you were fine going off to see another guy, because "you're single and don't owe anyone anything."

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  • He sounds like a real dick. Sure he's single and has no obligation to be exclusive with you, but to leave you in bed to go have sex with someone else it's just a dick move. Do yourself a favor and stay away from him.

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What Girls Said 15

  • Are you really that desperate to keep this guy? I hope you kicked his ass to the curb after that stunt.

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  • When you’re just casually ‘talking’ to someone, there’s this grey area where unless you set guidelines then shit like this happens. You honestly just have to sit him down and both discuss if it would bother either of you if the other person was also seeing someone else. That’s really the only way to find out.

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  • I would've stolen that mother fuckers bed and hid his shit in weird places such as the water tank of the toilet. Need to brush your teeth for your next hookup? Sorry your toothbrush is in your toilets water tank.

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  • Thats def not all guys, that particular person is just a dumpster fire and you should probably cut him out of your life.

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  • Its called...
    Don't ask us this. Its called ask us "hey how do I dump this pig who ruins it for good guys, text email or ice him out..."

    Sorry but dump the player. If u stay then u now know what to expect...

    Hope ur OK and hope best

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  • I think that what he did was not appropriate, but another question is: How did you allow yourself to be with a guy that treated you that way?

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    • On the other hand, some women do the same as well, so it's not a gender specific behavior, although one can insist that men do more than women or the other way around. I've heard a woman said that the vagina was hers, and she could do whatever she wanted with it.

      I think it's just a matter of personal standards of both parties. The person behaving certain ways, and the person being done certain things by that "doer."

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    • Relation or status on where you stand. friends with benefits. Girlfriend. Booty call.

  • I dont think the fact that someone is single is reason to be rude. Personally I would ditch the guy and find someone worthy of my time.

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  • Technically he is not wrong for saying he can do it as he is single. It’s it nice-no. Should you get rid-yes!

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  • You allowed it 😆😆. I wouldn't let no ninja knock me up. tf

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  • You probly shouldn't have screwed him so fast.

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  • Well.. they can

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  • He is trash. Done.

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  • Throw the whole man away

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  • I know wright i think some boys think its okay but... what if they find the one and one of them come ba k and ruin everything with the girl... and you deserve better becous he would be crazy to not want to be with you and even thou I dont know you you still sound like a wonderful girl who deserves better

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  • And you allowed it

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    • I didn't know that's what he was doing he told me he was going to see his friend really fast.

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    • Now you make a choice.

    • Were you officially dating? Or were you fwb?

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