follow Hundreds of hot guys. Your friends boyfriends and so on. Guy friends of guys.
Follow some BBCs too, some Tyrones.
Like their pics. Make it clear. Make it obvious. Do exactly as he does. If his bad behavior doesn’t stop within a month or worsens within that month. ITS OVER 🖕
I believe that it is okay to fantasize about the opposite sex if you are either a woman or a man. It honestly in our human nature, but to openly do it in front of your partner and often is a little insensitive. Though if it bothers you and you feel insecure, it is better to "talk" about it with your partner. I mean talk by nonchalantly expressing why it bothers you, hear his response then draw your conclusions. Don't like his response, then move on, ask for a compromise, or work together. The whole point of a relationship is to work together, if you can't don't be in a one-sided relationship.
Well it depends, are these girls super exposed sexually or no? If they are not sexually explicit then I wouldn't worry to much but since it is bothering you it's best to express how you feel instead of holding it in. Just let him know so you can talk about it, it's normal to feel a little jealous at times-everyone has at some point but remember to not let take control of you or your relationship. I'm sure when you talk about it, it will help solve the issue hopefully.
Yes you should be worried. If this bothers you, your insecurities can destroy the relationship. So be careful here. Never assume he's unfaithful unless you have solid evidence. Looking is not evidence for anything. And regular small talk is not flirting. Flirting is more like "Hey baby, wanna come over to my place? I'm all alone." That crosses the boundary into flirting and being inappropriate for someone in a relationship.
I would have more of a problem if he msgs them. Also, it’s important that you’re vocal about it now. You don’t want to end up in a fight and blow up with problems you’ve been holding in. Once he knows you have a problem with it, you’ll see what kind of man you have. If he decides to continue or dial it back.
Following girls, because they're attractive, is one thing. Flirting with them is entirely different. No need to be insecure. Either he's unable to upgrade, because he's too insecure and unattractive - or he's truly smitten with you. Either way, he's with you and not with someone else. :D PS. Hopefully it's the latter.
Well looking won't hurt. Talking... Depends... Seeing them? Questionable. Someone once told me girls and boys can never be friends. Why? Well... Nature can explain that. Someone has to love someone in a boy and girl relation. Depends if they notice or not
Nooo, it's like you following male celebrities/finding certain actors/insta models hot etc. (& they could be friends? If he has other social circles) Doesn't mean you don't love your boyfriend any less!
But if it worries you, talk to him & don't blow up at him- communication is sooo important in a relationship.
Do you have a bunch of random guys following you on Instagram? Should he be worried about them? If the random guys that follow you have girlfriends, should those girls be worried about you? If you make a big deal out of this, you'll not only seem annoying and nagging, you'll seem obsessive and controlling, and he will hide things from you. If you really want to talk to him about this, you need to approach the topic with curiosity, not judgement. You also can't make him stop watching porn.
Seems a little weird to me if he just started doing this, out of nowhere. If they are very attractive girls he is following to then I would probably confront him about it. Ask why he is following them, and then let him know how it makes you feel
I bet you are, and if that is the case then you have nothing to worry about.
Unless he secretly knew those girls at one point and was friends with them in the past, or he remembers them from school and he used to crush on them. You never know. Confront him and ask if he knows them, or used to know them. Also what kind of content are these girls posting? Selfies, semi nude photos, cosplays? There has to be some reason he started following them especially since you are way more attractive than any of them. Maybe they are just attractive enough to him, unless they post quality content worth following them for
Instagram opens the door to this kind of question. Sometimes I think websites like Instagram should be buried 6 feet in the dirt. It has given so many girls the platform to show themselves off to the world. They almost turn themselves into objects that men are attracted to but can't own. You could almost call Instragram porn because it promotes sexual lust. But does it in such a way that it avoids the porn label.
I really do not think you have anything to worry about. I mean its instagram so he really isn't hiding it. Also it's instagram people are always following people. Sounds like you are reading too much into this and you should just have a calm sit down woth your boyfriend and discuss your insecurities.
No, stop being paranoid, and stop being nosy, you'll come out as clingy, and not worth his time. If you become skeptical of your partner it hinders the true you that they want to be with. Trust me, I broke up with this girl because she said she liked her best friend, and she should trust me. I wouldn't say I'd trust her if I had a second chance, but it certainly was not fun to hang with her, because I was paranoid.
I would ask him about it but do it nicely. Like, I've had something on my mind lately and id like to talk to you about it... is there a reason you're following all these girls on instagram? I mean, do you still love me or do you want to see other people? Following is one thing and yes I think it's strange and shady. Talking to the girls is another thing in which case id back off and say something
Do girls have a higher attachment to technology? Most days i contemplate using my phone as target practice. Any apps I've ever means nothing to me, and I have a hard time learning how to use it. Don't people follow each other on Facebook? I thought this was normal, and it didn't matter who you were friends with.
Yes. He surely plans on cheating you with one of them. I mean why else would he publicly visible like them, if this wasn't his plan? Lol. Don't you think he'd be more discrete if he planned something like that?
You should tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure. If he respects you and your relationship, he will NOT try to turn the tables and make you feel like a crazy nag, he'll stop. Your feelings are more important than Instagram.
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
That is sexual energy going elsewhere away from you and the relationship. It's a redflag and a sign not to be ignored. When you are with a man that is on his purpose and has ascension in mind, he will not have time for such nonsense. Does he watch porn?
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
For me it would be a dealbreaker, when you truly love someone you don't feel sexually atracted to other people. But I understand it's not so easy for you just break up like this. Have you thought about also following a lot of hot instagram guys? I recommend Nick Bateman, such a hottie
This is horrible advice. It's ok to find someone attractive and still not do anything. She literally contradicted herself. Nick Bateman is a hottie? So if you were in a relationship he wouldn't be anymore?
@SupersoldierX7 I was in love once. Before I fell for the guy, he was just handsome, like a lot of guys around. I never believed people when they were telling me that they find they SO the most attractive. I was thinking "They surely aren't honest. There are too many attractive people on the world and they are saying this just to make their partner feel good". But then I fell for him. He became for me literally the most handsome and physically perfect man on this planet. And I really felt that way. All other men were uglier than him. I could admit that some other man may be objectively hot, but only looking at him was making me wet
You're mistaking male and female nature. You're projecting your own actions and feelings onto him. When a man looks at a woman, it's not the same as when a woman is looking at other men--while in a relationship. Men don't lose the desire to look at other women when they're in love. We just don't. It doesn't mean anything, even if it would for you.
The guy couod be completely head over heels for her, but still look at other women. He could be willing to die for his girlfriend or wife, yet still look at other women.
There are no feelings involved in it. There is nothing other than, "Damn, she looks good."
It is *not the same*. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache if you accept that, because you will never--I repeat--nevwr find a man who will not look at other women.
@ChurchOfIron I talked to a bunch of guys who feel the same way as I do when truly devoted to someone. There is a difference between noticing someone on the street and thinking "wow, she is attractive" and watching porn/instagram models thinking "damn I would love to fuck her" and masturbating to it. That first thing is normal, the other not
You talked to a bunch of guys who know what women want to hear. There are a lot of guys who will just say whatever they think women will like best, just like there are a lot of women who will just lie about how they are, when they're trying to impress a guy.
Emulation is the most sincere type of flattery, right? I guaruntee you they did not lose that desire when they fell in love.
First of all, we're not even talking about masturbation. We're talking about following girls on instagram. But even were that the case, there's a distinct difference between masturbating and having sex. Why is it so bad if he did masturbate to porn?
@ChurchOfIron There is absolutely no difference. Let's see what arguments have men when they are accused of masturbating to porn in relationship, shall we? -But she doesn't mean anything to me, I don't love that pornstar -It doesn't mean that I don't find my girlfriend pretty -I'm just using her to relieve myself, that's all So watching porn is acceptable, but cheating isn't? Read all the arguments again and see it's all the same if he fucked that pornstar
@ChurchOfIron Yeah, because sex is emotional. If it's just a meaningless thing for you, then you don't have a girlfriend. You have a girl friend who you are having sex with
You really don't get it. It's emotional--for women. It *can* be for men, but it doesn't *have* to be.
Why do you think guys have sex so easily? If men and women approached sex in the same way, men would behave as women. You ever seen those social experiments where a hot guy and a hot girl go around campus asking people if they want to have sex? 0-1% of the women say "Okay, let's have sex." Whereas, 90% of the guys say, "HELL YEAH! LETS HAVE SEX!"
Why is that? It's because men do not require emotions for sexual satisfaction. We have a drive that most women do not have.
We require no connection. We require no trust.
Yes. Those things can be enjoyable. But they are not *mandatory*. The sexual impulses we have are completely different from the sexual impulses women have. They are meaningless, purely physical compulsions. "ooooh, look, something shiny."
@ChurchOfIron Yeah, and after you have so much meaningless sex before relationship, then it is also meaningless in relationship. There is nothing new or exciting for you, you know you could get it from anyone. You don't associate that pleasure with your girlfriend specificly, but with women in general. I seriously, seriously don't understand why most people with thinking that watching porn in relationship or having meaningless sex while single is ok aren't in open relationships.
You've probably eaten cake before, right? So is cake boring to you now? If your mom bakes you a cake specially for you, it holds no meaning or excitement for you, because you've already had cake, before?
And if you've never had sex before, it's not going to be good. You're going to be bad at it, be unable to please your partner. Does that create a better bond? What if you're totally sexually incompatible? One needs to learn these things before they meet someone they truly care for, otherwise it will ruin it.
When I was a virgin I was with a girl I loved deeply. We had sex for the first time, and I basically just had a seizure on top of her. I had no idea what I was doing. And, if you ask me, that helped destroy the relationship.
I seriously don't understand why you think it's not okay.
But did he masturbate to any of them? Did you catch him with his pants down with a hard on and playing with himself while he was clicking on follow on all of those girls' profiles? Make sure you give him enough affection and attention, physical and sexual. But chances are you'd be okay unless any of those girls are like local and he can actually get with them and cheat on you. I doubt any of them would actually be, they probably are all over the world. So just relax, at least for now.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
155Opinion
That’s no problem. You do it too.
follow Hundreds of hot guys. Your friends boyfriends and so on. Guy friends of guys.
Follow some BBCs too, some Tyrones.
Like their pics. Make it clear. Make it obvious. Do exactly as he does. If his bad behavior doesn’t stop within a month or worsens within that month. ITS OVER 🖕
I believe that it is okay to fantasize about the opposite sex if you are either a woman or a man. It honestly in our human nature, but to openly do it in front of your partner and often is a little insensitive. Though if it bothers you and you feel insecure, it is better to "talk" about it with your partner. I mean talk by nonchalantly expressing why it bothers you, hear his response then draw your conclusions. Don't like his response, then move on, ask for a compromise, or work together. The whole point of a relationship is to work together, if you can't don't be in a one-sided relationship.
Well it depends, are these girls super exposed sexually or no? If they are not sexually explicit then I wouldn't worry to much but since it is bothering you it's best to express how you feel instead of holding it in. Just let him know so you can talk about it, it's normal to feel a little jealous at times-everyone has at some point but remember to not let take control of you or your relationship. I'm sure when you talk about it, it will help solve the issue hopefully.
Yes you should be worried. If this bothers you, your insecurities can destroy the relationship. So be careful here. Never assume he's unfaithful unless you have solid evidence. Looking is not evidence for anything. And regular small talk is not flirting. Flirting is more like "Hey baby, wanna come over to my place? I'm all alone." That crosses the boundary into flirting and being inappropriate for someone in a relationship.
I would have more of a problem if he msgs them. Also, it’s important that you’re vocal about it now. You don’t want to end up in a fight and blow up with problems you’ve been holding in. Once he knows you have a problem with it, you’ll see what kind of man you have. If he decides to continue or dial it back.
Following girls, because they're attractive, is one thing. Flirting with them is entirely different. No need to be insecure. Either he's unable to upgrade, because he's too insecure and unattractive - or he's truly smitten with you. Either way, he's with you and not with someone else. :D
PS. Hopefully it's the latter.
Well looking won't hurt. Talking... Depends... Seeing them? Questionable. Someone once told me girls and boys can never be friends. Why? Well... Nature can explain that. Someone has to love someone in a boy and girl relation. Depends if they notice or not
Nooo, it's like you following male celebrities/finding certain actors/insta models hot etc. (& they could be friends? If he has other social circles)
Doesn't mean you don't love your boyfriend any less!
But if it worries you, talk to him & don't blow up at him- communication is sooo important in a relationship.
Good luck babe! x
Do you have a bunch of random guys following you on Instagram? Should he be worried about them? If the random guys that follow you have girlfriends, should those girls be worried about you?
If you make a big deal out of this, you'll not only seem annoying and nagging, you'll seem obsessive and controlling, and he will hide things from you.
If you really want to talk to him about this, you need to approach the topic with curiosity, not judgement.
You also can't make him stop watching porn.
Mutual understanding & trust are very important in a successful relation.
If he is yours don't worry you are never going to loose him. .
The same way if you trust him you don't have to get tensed like this.
All these are usual & sometimes might get irritating so be careful. .
Seems a little weird to me if he just started doing this, out of nowhere. If they are very attractive girls he is following to then I would probably confront him about it. Ask why he is following them, and then let him know how it makes you feel
What if I'm far more attractive than all of them? lol
I bet you are, and if that is the case then you have nothing to worry about.
Unless he secretly knew those girls at one point and was friends with them in the past, or he remembers them from school and he used to crush on them. You never know. Confront him and ask if he knows them, or used to know them. Also what kind of content are these girls posting? Selfies, semi nude photos, cosplays? There has to be some reason he started following them especially since you are way more attractive than any of them. Maybe they are just attractive enough to him, unless they post quality content worth following them for
Instagram opens the door to this kind of question. Sometimes I think websites like Instagram should be buried 6 feet in the dirt. It has given so many girls the platform to show themselves off to the world. They almost turn themselves into objects that men are attracted to but can't own. You could almost call Instragram porn because it promotes sexual lust. But does it in such a way that it avoids the porn label.
I really do not think you have anything to worry about. I mean its instagram so he really isn't hiding it. Also it's instagram people are always following people. Sounds like you are reading too much into this and you should just have a calm sit down woth your boyfriend and discuss your insecurities.
No, stop being paranoid, and stop being nosy, you'll come out as clingy, and not worth his time. If you become skeptical of your partner it hinders the true you that they want to be with. Trust me, I broke up with this girl because she said she liked her best friend, and she should trust me. I wouldn't say I'd trust her if I had a second chance, but it certainly was not fun to hang with her, because I was paranoid.
I would ask him about it but do it nicely. Like, I've had something on my mind lately and id like to talk to you about it... is there a reason you're following all these girls on instagram? I mean, do you still love me or do you want to see other people? Following is one thing and yes I think it's strange and shady. Talking to the girls is another thing in which case id back off and say something
Do girls have a higher attachment to technology? Most days i contemplate using my phone as target practice. Any apps I've ever means nothing to me, and I have a hard time learning how to use it. Don't people follow each other on Facebook? I thought this was normal, and it didn't matter who you were friends with.
Yes. He surely plans on cheating you with one of them. I mean why else would he publicly visible like them, if this wasn't his plan? Lol. Don't you think he'd be more discrete if he planned something like that?
You should tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure. If he respects you and your relationship, he will NOT try to turn the tables and make you feel like a crazy nag, he'll stop. Your feelings are more important than Instagram.
That is sexual energy going elsewhere away from you and the relationship. It's a redflag and a sign not to be ignored. When you are with a man that is on his purpose and has ascension in mind, he will not have time for such nonsense. Does he watch porn?
For me it would be a dealbreaker, when you truly love someone you don't feel sexually atracted to other people.
But I understand it's not so easy for you just break up like this.
Have you thought about also following a lot of hot instagram guys?
I recommend Nick Bateman, such a hottie
This is horrible advice. It's ok to find someone attractive and still not do anything. She literally contradicted herself. Nick Bateman is a hottie? So if you were in a relationship he wouldn't be anymore?
@SupersoldierX7 I was in love once. Before I fell for the guy, he was just handsome, like a lot of guys around. I never believed people when they were telling me that they find they SO the most attractive. I was thinking "They surely aren't honest. There are too many attractive people on the world and they are saying this just to make their partner feel good".
But then I fell for him. He became for me literally the most handsome and physically perfect man on this planet. And I really felt that way. All other men were uglier than him. I could admit that some other man may be objectively hot, but only looking at him was making me wet
You're mistaking male and female nature. You're projecting your own actions and feelings onto him. When a man looks at a woman, it's not the same as when a woman is looking at other men--while in a relationship. Men don't lose the desire to look at other women when they're in love. We just don't. It doesn't mean anything, even if it would for you.
The guy couod be completely head over heels for her, but still look at other women. He could be willing to die for his girlfriend or wife, yet still look at other women.
There are no feelings involved in it. There is nothing other than, "Damn, she looks good."
It is *not the same*. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache if you accept that, because you will never--I repeat--nevwr find a man who will not look at other women.
I agree with churchofiron. The rule of thumb is usually admire the beauty of the flower, just don't pluck it. Lmao
@ChurchOfIron I talked to a bunch of guys who feel the same way as I do when truly devoted to someone.
There is a difference between noticing someone on the street and thinking "wow, she is attractive" and watching porn/instagram models thinking "damn I would love to fuck her" and masturbating to it.
That first thing is normal, the other not
You talked to a bunch of guys who know what women want to hear. There are a lot of guys who will just say whatever they think women will like best, just like there are a lot of women who will just lie about how they are, when they're trying to impress a guy.
Emulation is the most sincere type of flattery, right? I guaruntee you they did not lose that desire when they fell in love.
First of all, we're not even talking about masturbation. We're talking about following girls on instagram. But even were that the case, there's a distinct difference between masturbating and having sex. Why is it so bad if he did masturbate to porn?
@ChurchOfIron There is absolutely no difference. Let's see what arguments have men when they are accused of masturbating to porn in relationship, shall we?
-But she doesn't mean anything to me, I don't love that pornstar
-It doesn't mean that I don't find my girlfriend pretty
-I'm just using her to relieve myself, that's all
So watching porn is acceptable, but cheating isn't? Read all the arguments again and see it's all the same if he fucked that pornstar
Except for the whole having sex part. You're looking at it entirely on an emotional level. He isn't. That's the difference.
But, whatever. You'll learn eventually, the hard way. That perception is going to be a pain in your ass, for sure.
@ChurchOfIron Yeah, because sex is emotional. If it's just a meaningless thing for you, then you don't have a girlfriend. You have a girl friend who you are having sex with
You really don't get it. It's emotional--for women. It *can* be for men, but it doesn't *have* to be.
Why do you think guys have sex so easily? If men and women approached sex in the same way, men would behave as women. You ever seen those social experiments where a hot guy and a hot girl go around campus asking people if they want to have sex? 0-1% of the women say "Okay, let's have sex." Whereas, 90% of the guys say, "HELL YEAH! LETS HAVE SEX!"
Why is that? It's because men do not require emotions for sexual satisfaction. We have a drive that most women do not have.
We require no connection. We require no trust.
Yes. Those things can be enjoyable. But they are not *mandatory*. The sexual impulses we have are completely different from the sexual impulses women have. They are meaningless, purely physical compulsions. "ooooh, look, something shiny."
@ChurchOfIron Yeah, and after you have so much meaningless sex before relationship, then it is also meaningless in relationship. There is nothing new or exciting for you, you know you could get it from anyone. You don't associate that pleasure with your girlfriend specificly, but with women in general.
I seriously, seriously don't understand why most people with thinking that watching porn in relationship or having meaningless sex while single is ok aren't in open relationships.
You've probably eaten cake before, right? So is cake boring to you now? If your mom bakes you a cake specially for you, it holds no meaning or excitement for you, because you've already had cake, before?
And if you've never had sex before, it's not going to be good. You're going to be bad at it, be unable to please your partner. Does that create a better bond? What if you're totally sexually incompatible? One needs to learn these things before they meet someone they truly care for, otherwise it will ruin it.
When I was a virgin I was with a girl I loved deeply. We had sex for the first time, and I basically just had a seizure on top of her. I had no idea what I was doing. And, if you ask me, that helped destroy the relationship.
I seriously don't understand why you think it's not okay.
But did he masturbate to any of them? Did you catch him with his pants down with a hard on and playing with himself while he was clicking on follow on all of those girls' profiles? Make sure you give him enough affection and attention, physical and sexual. But chances are you'd be okay unless any of those girls are like local and he can actually get with them and cheat on you. I doubt any of them would actually be, they probably are all over the world. So just relax, at least for now.