Only ever been with my girlfriend. Am I missing out?

I’m 22 years old. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 years now and we just moved in together. We talk about marriage and kids and I can see a future with her. BUT she’s the only girl I’ve ever dated. The only girl I’ve ever done anything with. I’ve never even more than casually talked to anyone else. Obviously it’s normal to find other people attractive and I would never cheat, but I can’t help but wonder if I may be missing out. I know that sounds bad, but how do you know if you’re with the person that’s right for you if you’ve never been with anyone else?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You don't know. Even if you have dated 100 people, you never know if the current one is The One. Long term relationships require a leap of faith; if your love is strong, you are willing to make that leap.

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  • Nope, if you're with the right person, you're not missing out on anything, but don't expect to ever truly know if you're with the right person, you will never be sure, because you can't possibly know what everyone else in the whole world is like to be with. It won't even help being with another 10, 20, 100 girls. You still won't be sure.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you just feel... My boyfriend is 9 years older than me, when we meet I was I'm high-school... I had relationships before... But the longest one was like a month... I wasn't the one to commit, and I never took it seriously and I never really did anything... I would end it so soon so we. Wouldn't have time to do anything more. Than making out... or a quick bj... When I met my boyfriend I knew I can't play him like that... At that age... People don't relay care about relationships... They would get over it in a month or two... But he was more. Mature and more willing to commit... I was watching him falling in love with me, and I knew he was serious about it, and will suffer if I just changed my mind. He Finished university... He would probably want a long term girlfriend to move with and eventually marry... And I never thought I can do that... But I did... I fell for him... And it was the best relationship I ever had... When I was In my last year he asked me what il do next... He told me they he planned to leave the country for a while.. And there is nothing to hold him here... Excepting me... He asked me if I'd like to continue my studies in a. Different, wealthier country... And he would get a job there, I would work part time we share the rent and we start our life together... I was down... He asked me. If I'm sure... I am young and beautiful and I diserve to enjoy life... When I'll be in my. Early 20's he would be 30... and have a serious job,... I thought a lot about it... I knew he was the right person for me... I actually wished I would've met him later in my life.. So I could experiment then be with him... But I decide to go for. It... We married after. I finished my. Studies... We. Have our first anyversary this month... And life is. Like a party... Best choice made

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  • I've got to say, if you truly love the girl enough to talk marriage and are serious an not having issues, you just need to ride that thought out. You are young and a man and its an urge, not a logical or meaningful though process. It passes. I was in a similar situation at that age and it was work to keep true to each other. You just get spooked in a carnal sense maybe. When the hormones level out and you settle in the later 20s and 30s and beyond, those irrational thoughts diminish. What you are thinking of doing will only complicate and fuck up your life and current relationship not enrich it. If you have some problem with her and want an out.. than get out and see other people, but if you love her and don't have major problems, suck it up and spend more time together so there are stupid urges getting in the way.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 33

  • If it really starts gnawing on you it's in both your interest to talk this out.

    It would be a damn shame if it would ruin your relationship while its a perfectly understandable idea.

    He might react frustrated due to insecurity, hell even though i agree with your idea i myself would need a minute to process if a girlfriend tells me something like that, but i when it comes down to it i wouldn't want to rob her from that experience just because i might be a bit uncomfortable.

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    • While i wrote above, i did imagine discussing this when you're for example together for 10 years.

      I do understand you asking yourself this but i would not understand acting on it already. does that make sense? sometimes its a bit hard to find the right words due to English being a second language and all.

  • Stop buying into all the hype from your single friends that are envious and the media. I once had a partner that was a good woman, who was educated, could cook, could clean and truly cared and loved me, but I screwed it up because I wanted to play the field, chase tail and “see what else was out there” it was a huge mistake and I regret it to this day. If you got something good then stick with it. Trust me when I tell you there’s nothing out here but headaches and heartache.

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  • I'm 25, almost 26.
    Never have I ever had what you have.
    So I'm kinda jealous of people who managed to find their "soulmate".

    If you still feel like being together after 4 years, perhaps you aren't missing on anything.
    Some times, you realize what you have once it's gone.

    Please don't ... 😅
    For your own sake ;)

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  • Like what are you looking for? Do you have question about your relationship? If you truly love your girlfriend and you are happy with your girlfriend then you have not missed out, but if you have questions then maybe you missed out. Remember change is not always for the better.

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  • You are not missing out on anything, if you're with someone else then you'll just be experiencing all the same things but the only difference is that it's with a different person... By being with her and no-one else just means that you get to experience all the great things for the first time with her together and if you really love her then it will feel right and you'll know it on the inside...

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  • As long as you both are happy together, what does it matter? If you two love each other very much, why wonder about being with others? You could try to find out if you are missing out, then you would be missing out on a very happy and loving relationship.

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  • Well you don't know if your missing out or not. Depends on how you look at it. Some people like yourself will see it as missing out. Others will feel happy they got it right the first time out. My parents were like that.

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  • there will ALWAYS be a woman or two that will get into your head and make you ask what if.. ALWAYS . SO if you sow your seeds and sleep with 2 dozen woman or you just sleep with your girl, you will always see a woman and wonder if you will be "missing" out. Its not easy ignoring those feelings, but if you love each other and you have no doubts, then stay and work at keeping your life with her open and honest.

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  • As long as you two are happy together, love each other, care about each other, support each other and have fun with each other then try not to worry about what is out there. Enjoy life as much as you can with the one you are with. There will always be people who are single that you will not have been with so enjoy the one you are with

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  • You have to do some soul searching on this one. Weigh up how much you love her vs your uncertainty. If you can't get over the uncertainty, it might mean getting back out there is best. There's nothing wrong with staying with her though. You need to make the decision, don't let society pressure you into doing one or the other.

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  • There really is no right answer for this. You are still quite young yet so settling down may not be right for you. Have a talk with your girlfriend about your concerns and go over your options. You will figure out the right path from there.

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  • You might be. You obviously don't know what other women are like, but you should know what makes a person high quality.

    Is your girl a high quality woman? Objectively?

    Can you rely on her?

    What will remain when her looks fade?

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  • I know a man who asked himself the same question after 50yrs of marriage. He realized this. Would he trade his time with his wife to be with some random girls. No he wouldn't.

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  • If your happy together. And know you will be for the rest of your life. Isn't that enough. Isn't that the only thing that matters that you are both happy? There is always someone better. But why risk what you have?

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  • Yes girl... You are missing out on a lot of stuff... Guys are more romantic and caring and can truly feel love... Girls are exciteable and adventurous they move on quickly to another person... Guys are constantly in love if they are truly in love...

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  • If you are happy you shouldn't bother yourself with thoughts like that. Most important is to be mentally happy. There are loads of people but just a few can give you certain calmness and happiness.

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  • No you are not missing much. It may seem like you are but once you are older you realize there is a lot more to life.

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  • how can you be missing out when you have a nice hot girl dont be so daft

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  • As long as the both of you can talk you will be surprised what Beautifull things that can happen sexually.

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  • You don't, but even experience won't help you their I'm afraid. Would you be upset if they broke it off right now? Do you feel like you've been wasting your time?

    And there in lies your answer.

    It's not always about finding the perfect match, but it's finding someone who you could grow old with, without it ever feeling like you could of been better off.

    You might be missing out on something, but you also might be missing out on what you got now if you moved on.

    It's not the worse thing in the world to lack experience with others as long as you are happy with the one your with. You might be surprised at how many people are in a similar position even if you do know of a few people who get around.

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What Girls Said 22

  • I've only ever been with my fiance seriously. I've dated others, never had sex, and never got serious with them. I'm 100 per cent fulfilled in my relationship and feel no need to be with anyone else. So, I'm suspecting you're missing something in your relationship, or, you're overthinking this next stage of your life and creating problems that don't exist.

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  • no, you aren't missing out. don't give it up unless you become unhappy.
    we single people are searching for what you already have... some even are searching in their late thirties or forties. you're a pair of lucky girls!

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  • You have to level with yourself. Do you value what you already have or what you could have? Which choice would you appreciate more? Experience or what’s in front of you?
    I personally don’t think you’re missing out. But since you’re on the fence, I think you should be honest and open with your girlfriend about this so you both can figure it out together.

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  • You have to think, out of all the other girls in the world you could date, will they be able to take her place? Is it worth the sacrifice? Because my boyfriend has made comments about missing freedom and hooking up with girls and I have to say, I would not take him back after that.

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  • My friends parents have been together since high school and they were each other’s first boyfriend and girlfriend and they’re very happy right now!! Married for over 20 years but everyone is different, but if you’re happy with this girl then that’s the most important thing

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  • I'm not going through that personally but my sister and her husband is (married at 19 now 23), they describe it as although they do wonder what it's like to explore but they love each other so much they would rather stay together than risk the love they have for each other, it's a normal feelings if you lose feelings then leave why stay with a person u dont love

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  • Not really, it’s basically the same thing regardless of who it is - unless they’re into different kinds of kinks lol

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  • Careful cause you found someone who loves you and cherish you might not found out what you did. But also sometime you gotta go through life test the waters. Definitely don’t cheat. Take it from someone who was cheated on twice by my ex. With my current girlfriend I am more alter trusting but never to trusting.

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  • By that logic, you'll never know, 'cause you'll never have been with everyone.

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  • Are you happy? Then don't worry about it. Why does it matter that it's the only person you've been with? The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

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  • That why heaven would be boring. Even when people are in perfect condition they are still bored and demand something else

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  • If you're wondering if you're missing out, then that curiosity probably won't go away. I'm just speaking from my personal experience. She could be someone you could easily be happy with for the rest of your lives, but not having other experiences leaves room for that doubt. I'm not saying go out there and explore, but I think you should be prepared to always have that be a question in the back of your mind if you two end up married and she remains your only experience. Some people need to explore, others dont. I was someone who had to explore before really understanding what a great loving, lasting relationship entailed... also I explored because to be quite Frank, I have a sexual appetite that the same person and same experience was not going to satiate. Not everyone is like that. If you're happy, then stay happy. If you have this question nagging at you, then consider it to be something worth mentioning. You dont have to explore other people alone if you know what I mean...

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  • If she makes you happy and losing her is not worth taking a risk of exploring other people than she is the one and you better hold on to her

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  • You're not missing out, you're doing what makes you happy.

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  • If you're happy with her, that's all that matters.

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  • you're lucky and most definitely not missing out

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  • u r not missing out. ur so damn lucky

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  • Simply if you are happy

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  • U have a good thing going for u why mess with it? Just try new things together make new more exciting memories Have fun live it up

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  • You’re not missing out especially since you have what a majority of guys want in life. Imagine trying to find the one you wanna spend your life with and all you think about is having a wife and kids but you can never get there, YOU are already there so call it being lucky lol

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