Would you date someone with a kid?

I always felt like it was a deal breaker.
  • yes
    Vote A
  • no
    Vote B
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Updates:
Even though I lean closer to no, im surprised the yes's don't have it by a wider margin.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I really don’t care.
    I would date a man with a child. I just don’t want to be involved or attacked by baby mamas and stuff.
    I’ll take care of the baby just like if it was my own.
    The only problem is really the baby mama. I would not be trying to beef with the bitch.
    I would be involved to an extend. Also know when to keep my distance.

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  • I don't think I would purposefully seek out someone with a child, but if it happens it happens. That being said, it also largely depends on the father's attitude, the child's, and his or her mother. If the father is too hung up on the past with his ex or has such a terrible relationship with the ex that it affects us, no. If the child has an actual hatred for anyone who is not their mother, that is a major factor, and lastly if the ex thinks she has the ability to try to dictate the terms of our relationship outside of her own child, that would be a huge red flag. There are a lot of hurdles that one must cross in that situation, but obviously with the right factors and right people it can be done. Would that be me... well, never say never, but it's not a 100% deal breaker by any means.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It depends on the child. I would date someone with a kid infact one of my ex's was pregnant when we met as baby daddy dumped her because he "wasn't ready to play daddy". I still consider her son as my own.

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    • thats pretty shitty

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    • shitty she was dumped while pregnant.

    • Yeah it was she never forgets to remind him about it lol

  • I am 33 and I do desire to be a father, although this would be a major leap for me not having that couple time experience beforehand. However, I won't rule out a woman with a child if it means I can find my partner in life. How we will date though with a child in the picture will be interesting. I figure we will have plenty of at home movie nights for a while and assuming we get to have very intimate moments, it won't be easy if she has to drop everything to be mommy when needed. It tests what I am made of too, to be what she needs, very understanding and loving of her and her child.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 100

  • No, its a deal breaker for me.

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    • Lol another one , again good luck if your single at your age because almost everyone in our age group has kids hahaha

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    • @Fuentes @Valiant How do I stop being notified when you guys sext each other.

    • @Mrbrainsyck send her a PM and you sext her so her mind is off of me i think she's in the mood

  • Not at my current age. But in like 10 years? Sure.

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  • I would not. I definitely want kids but that time will come when I’m good and ready. And I want them to be mine.
    Entering a relationship with a person who has a kid is a weird 3 way relationship between three adults. I don’t have time for that.

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  • Yes I would. If I grew to love him, I'd also grow to love his kids as well. Because they're his life. They're part of him. I hate to hear the term" baggage" used when referring to kids. Kids aren't baggage.

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  • I wouldn't mind since I can't have any myself.
    The real question is if I'd also be willing to date a guy with a kid whose mom is crazy/still has feelings for my dude/would or wouldn't mind if I can stepmom the heck out of them lol

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  • As I get older, I know the majority of the men I would have an opportunity to date will have children. I want kids, and as long as he's open to having more, that's fine with me. I don't want to end up spending my life alone, because I gave up a wonderful guy just because he had a kid. :)

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  • I have before and I'll never do it again. I bonded with his kids and after we broke up, it was really painful to be separated from them. I still wonder about him and his family, I really hope that they're all happy and in a good place.

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  • I always thought it would be okay, until I had a chance to date a man whose baby momma was potentially still in the picture. When I put emotional effort into someone, I don't like the idea of another person ripping them away from me because of jealousy. (Talking about the child, here.)

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  • I would. I love kids honestly.

    I grew up with a stepmum. I hate her guts now (and there's a lot of her to hate) so the idea of becoming a stepmum myself... i dont know, i feel like id do a really good job so its almost like sweet justice.

    Like a, "let me show you how its really done"

    ... i mean, clearly i dont have great reasons for being okay with it.

    But i am, and thats that.

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  • Gotta be real, if I saw he had a kid on his dating profile-I'd 90% chance skip unless he was just the guy of my dreams. I'm really young, no kids, and I don't want any baby mama drama.

    Now if this was 10 years in the future and I had kids, I probably wouldn't care.

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  • I don’t think so. Their kids always come first before you and depending on their relationship with the ex, the kids may look up to you as their parent which isn’t good if you’re not ready for it. Also some of my girl friends have dated single dads and a lot of them went back to their baby mommas.

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  • Yea as long as they’ll wait til marriage to have sex with me and as long as they have 1 kid thats 6 and under and as long as the mom isn't in the pic (or at least not a nuisance)

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  • I wouldn’t see it as a dealbreaker. As long as i fully know they aren’t anyhow married to that previous person or so, i feel it’s good. I’ll also want to include the child in some of our activities. 🙂

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  • It is a deal breaker for me atm because of my age, maybe when I am older I might be more accepting, but at 22 I cannot deal with children

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  • Of course! Even when I was younger, I dated someone with children. Would never be a real breaker for me.

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  • Deal breaker, unless the guy has been widowed. I'm not taking on his child if he couldn't work to sustain the relationship with the mother of his baby in the first place. Red flag.

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  • For those who have children and have no leftover intimacy with their ex and serious about long term. I say yes. For those who just want short term and side chick mamas, big NO.

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  • If he had a young, well-behaved kid then yes. If his kids were my age or older than me then no.

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  • If my husband had felt that way we would not be together as I had a daughter when we met and now we are all one happy family together.

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  • No, its a deal breaker for me. Why would I want to raise another woman's child?

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  • It really depends. I'd like them to be honest from the beginning and depends how I feel about the person I'm with. Plus these days it seems like everyone has kids.

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  • No, I’m also a single mom. And it’s hard to date with kids. Even before I had a child I dated men with kids, so they have a life before me, big deal!

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  • At a certain age I'd be hard pressed not to find someone with a child.

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  • I love kids so someone with kids wouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker for me. The relationship with said child's mother would be the determining factor in that.

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  • I want to focus on me and my sweetheart. Kids gets in the way. When I'm older like 50~60, then a guy with adult independent kids would be great.

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  • I think it mostly depends on age and if you want kids for most people who decide this. Before i had kids i would have said no but i was also 19.

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  • Sometimes the one that you love has kids. Sad to reject them because of their past.

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  • No, I'm childless so I would prefer someone childless. Plus from personal experience, I liked a guy who did have children and it just didn't work. When kids are involved you have to understand that you're not always going to come first and that you will have to sacrifice moments together which is understandable when dating someone with a kid. Also there's a chance of dealing with drama because of crazy, territorial baby moms who don't want their kids around other women or just make things hard cause they are upset their no longer with their kid's father. Plus if the relationship doesn't work out and you and that kid do get attached, then its hard breaking moment to explain why you won't be seeing them anymore. If i had a child and was single, I would remain single until my children were grown and out the house, i don't want to bring strange men in and out of the house around my kids.

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  • I probably wouldn't. I don't know how to deal with kids and then I would have to deal with their mother too.
    Too much drama for me.

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  • I wouldn't date him if he is like 10 years older than me, maybe just have sex for a while haha But if he is my age yeah I would

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What Guys Said 135

  • In Addition to Meeting my regular Dating criteria, there would have to be financial stability and the father would have to be involved in the kid (s) life so we would have some time to ourselves.

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  • Only if her kids were teens and she was older, in her 40s.

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  • No. I think that once you have kids you should do your best to stay together. Kids do best with their parents in a happy relationship. If you can't then you made a stupid decision having a kid with that person and if you made such a bad decision on something so big, that doesn't just affect you but also your kid, then you can't be trusted to make good decisions on much else. Not only that, but kids are hard work - I'm only interested in putting in that hard work for my own kids.

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  • I have, two times, and one, long-distance, and it NEVER works!! The CHILD HAS TO BE FIRST, ALWAYS, or how could I respect her?
    But, after a while, and the needs of a young child/children, get in the way of a relationship, especially if she is a single mother, and maybe a little nervous to bring in another man, in her child's life.

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  • I wants to be child free and doubt I wants any children, so for me it would be a deal breaker. Although it wouldn't be my child biologically, I think it would most likely end up with the person expecting me to take some responsibility for the child like a parent. Especially if we moved together. I've heard about cases where people who marries people with children acts like they're the children's parents.

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  • I had to put yes because I married someone with a kid... but to be fair I had one as well.

    Would I suggest it... fuck no. You'll end up paying for that kid one way or another. ... and lets be real... if you start loving some kid that isn't yours... you're like Michael Jackson weird.

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  • No and here is why let say that you are plowing mommy at her place and out of no where that snot nose little bastard walks in of course you got to stop so she can put him to bed which takes fine hours by the time she is done with that " oh baby I'm tired" night ruined

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  • In general no single mothers have screwed up ones means life I won't volunteer to be number 2. However if the woman is a widow with kids I'm open to it. The widow did not make a conscience decision to ruin her husband/BF life and her children's lives as well.

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  • I'll date someone with kids. But, I can't guarantee any long term relationship. It's not out of the question, I'm sure there are some great women who have kids.

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  • My biggest issue would just be having to see their ex often for the kid but other than that I'd have no problem. I mean wouldn't have been fair for me to say no when my stepdad was fine with me all those years ago.

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  • hm, not the results I expected. I voted yes which I can be quite sure of as my first love had a little boy...(pauses to wonder how they're doing with a brief fog of melancholy) but I assumed there would be more nos and more of a gender divide.

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  • It has been my experience that those who do not have kids tend to date those that don't have kids either. People who have kids will date and be fine with dating others that have kids. I've always been of the believe that's the person I'm going to date has a kid it is a package deal and I've always believed that.

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  • In my age group im to old to be picky like that because mostly everyone has a kid plus i only date girls 24 and up, now if if you mention how many kid's someone has well that can be a deal breaker, depending on many reasons but im ok with someone with 1 or maybe 2 anymore and your pushing it. It just say's a lot about a single mother and so many kids

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  • Yes. Why not? The more options you give yourself in life, the more likely you are to find what you desire. I like to keep an open mind.

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  • I have no problem dating a woman that has a kid. Now if she had like 6 that's a big nope. That's a huge commitment and i myself don't even want 6 kids. Just 1 or 2 is okay.

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  • No way in hell and if you have any goals in life don’t let yourself get hooked up with these dream killers. If you have sex with them wear protection they are in this situation because they chose to be. Don’t let them ruin your life. If you have no goals just want to survive and te sex is worth you dealing with her baggage then go for it

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  • No. The exception would be if the kid (s) are grown up and independent, BUT, I also wouldn't date someone that much older than me, so for the next 20 or so years, the answer is no.

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  • Nope. Fuck off! I don't even want kids of my own why would I have to take care of another man's children? Nope nope nope I'll get the fuck out ASAP!!! CYAAAAAA

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  • I am, she has 3 of them. I've known from the start, does make it awkward. Not meeting them till we've worked on us and are sure we have something meaningful.

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  • When I was younger, no, it would have been a deal breaker.

    Now, not so much. I think it's something that age changes your attitude towards.

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  • I wouldn't mind but i doubt it would be dating it would be more like i am friends with her but then come to really liking her then start something with her.

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  • Personally i would smash but being with or wifey status. Definitely not.

    Single moms should date dudes with kids for real for real. Or else ita gonna be a jacked up situation.

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  • I wouldn't mind. I plan on being a father at some point anyways.

    But I find it very odd that these stats show men are more willing to date someone with a child than a woman is. Why is that?

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  • It depends on the woman. If she is looking for someone to help her support her kid then no (at least not right away). Also, the other father, is he going to try to come after you?

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  • Nope.
    In the past I have a few times, but it's something that's absolutely not happening again.

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  • I would.

    some gal who liked me told me she liked me for a awhile but was afraid to ask me out because she has kids and erroneously assumed that would be a dealbreaker for me.

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  • I regret that in my teens I had a strict no instant family rule which prevented me from being with some fabulous women I now know.

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    • That's subjective.

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    • Phantoms. You're an old Salt. Did you meet Chesty.

    • Yes I did, I didn't like him. Dreamweaver he was an asshole.

  • Yes, I've got no problem with that. But I'm not so used to kids calling me "daddy" all the time, so that would be a minor issue 😂😂😂

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  • It would certainly be tough because I would always be second to the child even if I was dating her for many years. If I fall in love with someone I want to be their number one.

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  • I admit with some hesitation, but yes.
    Certainly not my preference, but a girl doesn’t have to be in a perfect situation in their life. It’s all about her herself.

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