How soon should your kids meet your new SO?

I'm a single mother of 2 and just got back into the dating scene. I was also the child of a single mother. I'm curious what the consensus is about how long someone should wait before introducing kids to someone new when dating. I've known people to introduce their kids to someone the first week of dating, and others to wait 6+ months into an exclusive relationship.

What's your opinion and why? If you're a parent with experience in this matter, how long did you wait? If you were a child of a single parent, do you remember what your parent did and how it affected you? Do you think it should be different for dads than it is for mothers?
Updates:
I should mention that I am not seeking advice. I've already decided what's best for me and my kids, but every family/parent/relationship is different, so I would like to hear other opinions and other their experiences.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I've just started dating someone with kids. I've told them I don't want to meet kids till we know where we're heading. For me there's an event in October we both want to go to, it'll be a weekend away (possibly our first), that'll be around 4 months in. Assuming things keep moving forward and we have a good weekend, for me that be the trigger for having a serious chat about where we are, where we see things going. If we're on the same page then meeting kids will come into that conversation.

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    • It's great that you are going into the relationship with a plan and are taking their children into consideration.

    • Thank you. I dont know where it will lead. But I wanted to reassure her early on that we can make things work around the kids (her ex only has them every other weekend so our time together is limited). First and foremost we need to build our relationship. Thats going to take time and commitment from both of us.

    • Glad my opinion was helpful, shame i can't give myself such good advice, my lady friend ended decided not to continue our relationship!!! Oh well, plenty more fish as they say

  • I would wait until I thought it was a serious relationship. No real timeframe, just if I thought it was going to be long term or not, good be 2 weeks or 6 months.

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    • 2 weeks seems so fast to know of a relationship would turn into anything serious, even if everything seemed perfect, you're still in that honeymoon phase and getting to know what person, but that's just me... lol. I see what you're saying though.
      Do you think mothers should be more cautious when bringing a man around their kids?

    • 2 weeks is very quick but i believe it's possible.
      Do I think a mother should be more cautious then a father? I think either one should be cautious because like I said unless it's a long term relationship I dont think children should be exposed to sexual partners if they're passing flings. I don't think Its fair to the kids to introduce them to peopl e and have them get attached just to take them away.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Im a more recently single mom but i dont plan to let anyone meet my boy until we are more serious. I just dont want to bring anyone i don't know that well around my boy plus i dont want him to get attached to people im not serious about because who knows if they will stick around. Plus i want him to grow up with the idea that relationships are serious and lean whats is like to be loyal and committed and i dont think that message would be portrayed as well if i just let any guy I went out with meet him.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Wait 2-3 months enough time to believe if u think the person is long term don't be the mum that brings bare men home

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    • Oh then yeah asking as u ain't the parent that brings men home like fast food u should be alright

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  • I am of the belief it should be immediately. I would like for the kid to know me and form an opinion of me because they have a say in the matter as well and its unfair to the mother as well as the child for me to cause strife between them.

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  • take time for the relationship to grow, i don't believe it's healthy for kids to see a "revolving door" situation. i believe it's also beneficial to communicate with your kids (age discretion)

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  • Regarding your update that's exactly what I was going to say, I it's up to each individual to decide whether or not you feel comfortable enough with the person your seeing to introduce them to your children

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  • It's whenever you both feel comfortable with it. I'd talk to both your SO and your kids (if they can understand the situation) first to make sure everyone is comfortable before you let them meet.

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  • Never, kids tend to ruin relationships, my advice tell him your kids died in a freak underwear accident.

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  • If you aren't sure if they will stick around or not dont torture your kid by having them begin to bond with a father figure then have it ripped away. Once you're engaged, not a minute before

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  • This should be relatively easy for you to decide. Think of what it was like for you? Do you think there was a good time or maybe a time you felt ready?

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  • Make sure its something thats going to last and if so then let them meet once you know its right you will feel it

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  • Soon as you are comfortable trust and thank you Jen believe whatever this man is telling you but he's being honest with you about everything cuz I know you're having talks and I'm sure he knows you got kids

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  • At first-seeing how they react to meeting each other and how they get along should be the single most important thing-otherwise-you risk disaster

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  • Maybe when you're completely comfortable around him that you wouldn't mind your kids meeting him.

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  • At least wait till puberty. If relationship lasts that long. Most single parents are too quick to make that meeting. Bad idea. No rush.

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  • After 6 month

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  • Whenever and your SO think you are ready to do so.

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  • I would like to see u if posible

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  • Bring the biological dad along with them.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Wait and see if the relationship is getting really serious, and if you think that your s/o could potentially be a big part of your life and your children's.

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  • I say 6 months I don’t have kids but I had ex girlfriends that had kids they wait 6 months to make sure it was real.

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  • My daughter is 17. She can handle it.

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  • Omg lol😆glad I dont have kids

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  • I think it's the same when I'n a relationship I wouldn say wait for at least 6 months until you know the person fully and you know you will be in a exclusive relationship maybe more because if they are not what you imagined it would be hard on the kids to accept and the kids could take it negatively or positively depending on the situation. If he wants to meet your kids that's important too. And until You know the relationship is serious ! I would wait maybe 7-8 months until im truly comfortable with the partner and know how he really is

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