What are your standards when looking for a bf/gf?

They say keep ur standards high, what are they supposed to be?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • They are supposed to be real values and personality traits that you should judge the other person against. Many of them should be up to your liking.

    Let's start from the beginning.

    Number juan:

    When you first meet a person, there's most likely no moral value that you can judge them against. You don't know them that well.

    You can however judge many things. Posture, confidence, how extroverted and introverted they are, how clean they are, and many others. (The more you pay attention to those things, the better you get at it)

    The beautiful thing about this is that it's mostly unconscious (or subconscious, you get the point tho)

    Number 2: First date

    This is exactly where you want to make sure that that juicy guy who approached you all cocky and got your number is all you imagined him to be.

    So you'll (mostly subconsciously) hold him against your initial expectations. But you shouldn't stop there.

    There's many ways to find out if your sexy ass date has more than just presence.

    Play a game with them.

    Ask them a question about themselves, then they get to aks you one back.

    Neither of you can repeat any questions.

    Go crazy, find out what his granny's cat's name is if you like. But make sure you also find out more about what drives him as a man: priorities, purpose, principles. This will give you a rough idea of his moral values.

    Keep in mind that people may lie, or in many cases, don't know themselves well enough.

    Let me give you an example: any man on this planet will say that looks aren't everything.

    But what usually happens when a hot seniorita comes our way is we tend to put very high expectations on her, that we later try to confirm with very little evidence from her (if any).

    So even tho we say looks aren't everything, and we have standards, and we are civilised gentlemen yada yada, not even we know the complete story (some of us, at least).

    So my advice it to allow yourself to be impressed, but don't be naive. Actions always speak louder than words, and it takes time to see a person in situations that confirm what they said about themselves.

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What Guys Said 57

  • Yes, I do have the image of the woman of my dreams. I have my standards, criteria in place and both physical and personality standards are high keeping in mind the type of person I am.

    However none of that matters, what standards I have, what criteria I have are all irrelevant, because I have decided to stay single for life.

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  • My only absolute needs is her being a good Christian and not being transgender. I have plenty of huge wants and preferences of course,(almost entirely about the heart btw), but I’m not terribly picky. It’s important to know what exactly you want, but also to remember you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

    Don’t jump on me, now! I’m not saying transgender people are bad! I respect anyone who is kind hearted. I simply don’t approve LGBT and want a LTR with someone who also doesn’t.

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  • Okay so this is the ideal women for me:
    She's mentally stable ( not on medication for depressions or anxiety's etc)
    She works and can support her self
    She's caring and nice
    She's open minded
    She's on my level with looks
    She has a good support system good family and friends
    she's kinky in bed
    She likes children

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  • I can make a long list
    But i know i would never get any of what i want, thanks to my bad luck with women
    I would say :
    - Female
    - Healthy (Regardless of the shape and weight )
    - Kind and funny
    I know i should ask for more, but i don't think that would change anything, high standards never got me a date, nor having no standards.

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  • Your standards are yours you decide, In my case has to be a very smart woman, independent, strong emotionally, but caring, sweet, thoughtful and sharp, someone that notices the small things and gives them the value they deserve. If they have a nice butt and some nice boobs it would be nice but its not important if they don't. These are mines get your own :p

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  • Has to be ambitious, loyal, committed, caring, nurturing, and always putting an effort to work on our issues. Other than that, I could care less about money, education, or status. If we click, we click. This is also coming from someone who has those things.

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  • I have never had a girlfriend before, so my standards are pretttyy low right now.

    If possible I would like a considerate petite girl that's happy to have me around, likes to hug and smiles a lot. If at all possible she would be quite a nerd (tech/fantasy) and introduce me to new interests.

    But at this point as long as I get someone with common sense and a decent look, I would give it a try 😂

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  • She's gotta be physically attractive: pretty face, short to average height, not fat/chubby, and one of big tits or a big ass (preferably both). Then she's gotta be a great overall person. I don't want no chick with a princess complex. She's gotta be mature, responsible, good-natured, caring, affectionate, understands me and knows my needs. Also, not prudish or a bitch. Those chicks are such a turn off.

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  • Not selfish or self focused.
    Not abusive, physically or mentally.
    Has respectable resistance to being offended.
    Not an extremist in anyway be it left , right , feminist or LGBT
    No smoking or dubious drugs.
    Not vegan/ vegetarian.
    Not traditional, I like brave modern women.

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  • for me it's being secure and honest, I hate drama and dramatic people and I won't put out to it even if the girl was the hottest model on earth (of course I might put out just to get laid then ghost her :P ) :D

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  • Looks aren't as important but they got to at least look somewhat good you know? But mainly personality and a woman with a good sense of humor always win me over... a woman can look like a model but if her personality is shitty I won't find her attractive

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  • I don't have any upfront. I just date a girl, see how that goes. If that goes well, live together, see how that goes. If that goes well and I still feel crazy about her and start seeing visions of us spending the rest of our lives together that seem mutual, I marry her.

    My idea of a high standard is only marrying someone you really got to fall in love with and got along extremely well. It's not necessarily based on some preconceived list of character traits, as I've never found a way to come up with a list of the traits in advance for women who managed to make me feel that way.

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    • Great example!

      Following it myself :)

    • Show All
    • @HHansen Cheers. I'm not sure if it's the best approach -- kind of an "open-minded and ready to be surprised" approach. Maybe people who can come up with a more concrete list of traits might have a better chance of finding a good one sooner, but I could never come up with that concrete list. I just ended up having a small list of some things I learned to avoid from things that definitely didn't work, but still with lots of room to be surprised.

    • @ak667 I'm pretty young so my list is not long haha.. But I ofcourse have small things, that I really need.. (someone who wants children, loyal and faithful, someone who tells me when things bother them etc.) but im pretty open minded aswell.. I'm not a quitter, so I will work on things as they come up :)

  • She must be able to not only keep up with me physically in the bedroom, but also mentally as well. I cannot date someone whom I cannot have a mind-stimulating conversation with. She must have a mind of her own and not easily influenced by others.

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  • For me, she needs to be intelligent, fashionably dressed (obviously not all the time, but I need her to have a sense of style), have a dry sense of humor, and have some kind of passion.

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  • she works hard, takes care of herself and is nice to those around her without being pushed around by douches.

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  • Just what you find absolute musts in a bf/gf or dealbreakers, so you know whether to filter someone out or consider them.

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  • My standards are, evidently, unreasonable.
    I expect smart, nice enough to tolerate, at least *kinda* attractive, and interested in me.
    (First 3 ordered by importance)
    Those 4 things don't coincide much...

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  • This may sound a bit weird to some.
    But, I wrote out what I would like in a "perfect" girl. I may never find that "perfect" person, but I may get close.
    What I wrote out are my "standards."
    Sense of humor is really too general. So, a sense of humor that is close my own. She can't take herself too seriously, and is able to make fun of her own shortcomings.
    Has a good education. Self taught is a plus because it shows she has a passion for something.
    Those are just two standards that I look for.
    Hope that helps.

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  • As long as she's not a trash bag slash slut, drug addict, foul mouth alcoholic, uneducated gangsta girl or a low class Gal you're good to go if you have Beauty written all over your face

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  • kind caring beautiful,
    cheerful, fun loving, less extroverted than me,
    Christian, Libertarian or Conservative, Girl Gamer,
    elegant, sophisticated

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What Girls Said 22

  • The first filters are 1) They are nice, and 2) They take care of themselves, and 3) They are concerned about others besides themselves

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  • Caring. Because what is the point of relashions when you dont get a caring treatment)
    Respect. Of my personality, other opinions, personal space and time, freedome.
    Kindness. Because I can't handle people who are not kind hearted to the world.
    Honest. Maybe for other people there is better not to know something, but for me not knowing is not being able to understand. So it gives a feeling that Im not giving what I can.

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  • Someone who'll listen and respect what I say, who will be honest with me and respect my boundaries, who will understand me and my flaws, and who will help me get through things.

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  • Apart from looks he has to be loving and caring and most importantly should be an open minded person who won't try to bind me
    I want him to understand me properly

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  • Tall, decent body, smart, good personality, chilled, loyal, trustworthy, caring, can come to the hospital with me at like 7am (lol), caring, can vibe with each other (bonus points if they are Christian✨

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  • Attractive for me, hardworking, ambitious, smart, optimist, appreciate what he has
    Yes I know it's almost impossible, but who lacks something from these are just annoying

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  • Same morals, funny, humble, keeps good hygiene, smart, caring, good with money, wants kids, loves God... etc.

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  • He's a hard worker, an extremely rational, calculating person, good looking, at least as tall as me, has similar points of view as mine, he's not too religious, knows how to take a joke.

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  • My biggest one is hygiene he has to take care of himself.

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  • Loyal, makes me feel loved and special. Respects me and understands me. Won’t take me for grandet.

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  • Friendly, honest, smart, funny, loyal, trustworthy and wanting a commited long term relationship.

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  • Tall, light skinned/hair/eyes, funny, cute, dorky, caring, respectful, romantic

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  • Good at communication, mature, respectful, kind, and treats me well.

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  • She got have nice smile, got love working out , I’m a gymrat, Has To Be nice. Sense Humor is a must she got be able to have a laugh. Trustworthy.

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  • Cute, funny, teasing, and nice but my standards will change over time

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  • Great personality, educated, honest, good looking, tall, confident, white.😁😂😂🤣

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  • Secure, honest, mature, kind, considerate, masculine and caring - personally

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  • Well for now, they’ve got to live closer to me

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  • High standards for manner not for appearance

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  • To be treated with respect

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