Which would you date? The man/woman with or without kids and why?

When dating , do you prefer a person with or without kids and why?
  • Without kids and why.
    Vote A
  • With kids
    Vote B
  • It doesn't matter
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
So if men had the option to not have kids with someone you wouldn't lol

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Easier without kids, makes scheduling time together easier, and kids bring all kinds of complications. That being said, am currently dating someone with kids (for a little over a month now). For time being keeping us and kids separate, till we know we have something sustainable.

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    • Funny how you pick up on men saying without when there fair number of women saying the same.
      Also your initial question was about dating someone who already had children from previous relationships, very different question to having kids with someone which not be dating would be a serious relationship.

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    • Then maybe that should have been your question...
      Fot dating no. For a relationship yes

    • Well too bad I didn't

  • I don't have any kids and I don't like the idea of potential baby daddy drama, baby sitter issues and "you ain't my daddy" issues. In the end though, live will determine what you are willing to do. If you love the mom, you must be willing to love everything about her. Simple

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Most Helpful Girls

  • The child can be effected by turbulent relationships and the comings and goings of their parent’s “partners”. Dating isn’t serious and leaves an impression, especially if the relationship turns sour and the adults can't keep the break up private and handle it in a mature way.

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    • Dating can be very serious. You can't get to other things really without the dating step, in a practical sense.

    • I like to think dating leads to something serious, but with young adults perceptions of the term, dating is now too loose a term used.

  • I don't want to have kids of my own, so I wouldn't want a man who has made kids of their own. If it was to become a serious relationship, the kids would be a part of my life in one way or another, and I don't want that.

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    • Only downside is : it's veeeeery unlikely that he will have the rights to guard the children after a divorce :) Your only hope is a widower.

    • @witherwing on the other hand it can be a fairly good solution for women who don't want kids mainly because of fear of giving birth challenge, and from my experience most women who don't want kids tend to have that as one of their main reasons. Also a man who didn't have children is less likely to sacrifice his parenthood for you, while a man who already have children don't miss much.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 54

  • Without kids.

    Why? If I have kids I'll want them to be mine that I have with my girl after we've been together alone for a bit.

    I don't want to start right off the bat with a kid in the picture and for the kid to be another man's and for my love interest's life to revolve around being mom and not being a couple.

    No way would I be interested in that. I wouldn't date a mom.

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  • I think once you're dating past the age of 30, the likelihood of finding a great potential mate who also happens to have kids dramatically increases. Why rule them out? I'm engaged to a fantastic woman with two great kids who love me and it's amazingly rewarding. Ruling someone out for this reason is very petty.

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    • More like past the age of 40, and many men don't to raise children who are not their own.

    • @Berethor Actually, no. My experience across the board has been that most women in their 30s have kids. Women in their 40s have older kids and are usually bitter that their ex husbands left them for much younger women. Vicious cycle.

  • It's more complicated when she has kids.

    Used to be that a lot of these guys dating single moms were 20 years older than them, so I got the impression that they saw it as a tradeoff- you get a much younger woman than you otherwise would have been able to, but she has kids.

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  • It doesn't matter to me. I wouldn't mind dating a single mother because if she's a good mother it means she'll have a lot of the qualities that I love in a woman. It all depends on how we connect with one another. Plus, I love kids so it'll be a bonus for me.

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  • It doesn't really matter to me but why would anyone prefer someone with kids?

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    • Some people dont want to have kids. If you meet someone with kids and you guys break up;you won't be obligated to any kids. basically you could have kids without having kids

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    • Omg forget it.

    • No, I definitely want kids, I would just prefer they were mine

  • I don't like kids and I am not willing to pay for the seed of other guys. It's not that I may not like them but I don't want kids. I want a free and funny live and I don't want to waste it feeding the baby

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  • Well, I probably wouldn't want to have kids, so I'd prefer to date someone who doesn't have them, though I don't see a problem with dating someone who does have kids.

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  • Don't see myself being a good dad and due to past relationships with the girl trying to baby trap me so that I can't have a life of my own and have me completely under there thumb e. g no job, no enjoyment

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  • Without kids, I ain't taking care of someone else's kids.

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  • With, please. I have custody of my son, and he is hugely important to me. I think people without kids might sort of get where my priorities are coming from, but the priorities of someone WITH kids would already match my own.

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  • Without kids cause if it ends up becoming serious I don't want to take on father responsibilities for kids that aren't mine. It would have to be a very special someone to convince me otherwise

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  • Without kids, it isn't just solely because I don't want to take care of someone else's kid over mine, but that the woman with a child/children has already had a full plate on her hands. She will be so invested on the kids that anything I do for her, I also have to do for her children. I will never be a priority nor someone who she truly loves/loved since she has her children and her ex-boyfriend/ex-husband. I will never have the time the spend the sweet phase between the start of the marriage and the birth of the first child since she already has her first child. Sorry, but unless she really is the most perfect woman in my eyes, it is an absolute no-go for me.

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  • Single mothers are dream killers they made bad decisions if you can put barriers up booty call is ok but you still have to deal with her busy usually hectic life trying to be 2 parents and dealing with all the baggage like ex losers she’s slept with

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  • Without. Not into the idea of cleaning up another mans mess. I don’t have any. Don’t want any.

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  • Having kids takes up a lot of time, time which couldve been spent on us or me-time for her. I haven't made that huge change in my life yet so im not interested in someone that has

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  • Women with kids are less likely to have sexual hang ups. Or should I say, they are less inhibited.. Childless Women tend to have less scheduling issues.,

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  • Of course I prefer somebody witout kids.. LOL.. But them havin kids wouldn't be a dealbreaker either..

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  • Without because I like a fresh start, no build in baggage.

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  • Many men barely accept woman's sexual past, so let alone a kids from other man.

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  • Without kids. One more kid of another guy means one less kid of my own, two more of his means two less of my own etc. I'm not interested in putting my time and energy into raising another man's kids, only my own - I'm not interested in putting time and effort into another man's legacy over my own. She probably ended up single because of dumb choices, whether a dumb choice in the man she chose to have kids with if it wasn't an accident, or she decided to leave over something that might have been able to be fixed, or maybe he left because she drove him to leave. All of this applies to him too but I'm obviously not interested in dating a guy so kind of irrelevant, that's just a disclaimer before some smart ass tries to point out the obvious. To add to that, if a guy does create a bond with the kids and the relationship breaks not only does he leave the woman but also the kids because they aren't his. More heartbreak for him and for them too.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Having raised two children basically on my own, there’s really no way I would want to date someone still raising kids. Only because it usually becomes an issue regarding discipline. I don’t want to have to justify myself because i May have told them no or take a nap or whatever. I was stern compared to a lot of parents that seem overly relaxed as disciplinarians.

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  • If I want to date a man, I don't really want the responsibility of watching children that he chose to have with another woman. Probably rude as hell of me to say, but it's true. I'm not mentally or emotionally prepared yet to handle children, and I'd honestly want someone able bodied to be in that child/s life.

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  • No kids. Why complicate my life?
    I don't want to be a mother just yet, especially not to someone else's kid.

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  • WITH Kids... he is more rational empathetic... everything what goes with carring for others... great bonus. From my point of view

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  • Well... I'd prefer them to not have kids, but kids wouldn't be a deal breaker either. I think that's the best way to describe it.

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  • It doesn't matter as long as the person has a good personality

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  • Without, because I'm not good with kids and wouldn't like having to deal with the baby-mama

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  • without. i dont plan on having kids and i dont want anyone elses

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  • I barely have time for dating and certainly don't have time for kids

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  • Without kids

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  • Without kids

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  • Without kids. I'm not a huge fan of kids.

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  • Without I'm too young to be with someone who has kids lmfao

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