Most Helpful Guys
Well yeah. That's an important tactic. I wouldn't use insults though. Id be more tactical and subtle than that, though. Mix compliments with slightly degrading caveats or pointing out some flaw. I guess just letting her know she isn't perfect and im not her bitch.
In the end a relationship is a power struggle, like everything else. The one with higher self-esteem and who cares less has the power.
Unfortunately I've heard this story many times, thankfully hasn't happened to me personally. Some of my friends actually believed it and pretty much forced themselves to be happy in the relationship. Like you I wouldn't last too long in a relationship like that. I would rather try and help them grow as a person and be confident in themselves, even if they realize I'm not the one for them in the process. It would suck if it happened like that but life goes on as they say!
Most Helpful Girls
Yes! I am so glad you did. I had a boyfriend who did this. I stayed or broke up and got back together and itnwasnthe worst ever. He would embarrass me in public and the last time he did, I ran out of a store crying all the way home. I told him don't ever call me again. He literally changed who I was. I became so fat. The day I dumped him I had friends support me. I went to talk therapy for 3 months, I became an advocate for women on my campus to get out of bad dating relationships. I started workout again and I dropped 45lbs in a year. He tried to commit suicide in new room t college. I called campus police and he left. He seen his father act likenthisnwith his mom. She called me after a week. I did not take anymore of her calls and I changed rooms again and my number. He has a control issue and that is someone you want to stay away from no matter what gifts he sends, the people he has talk to you. Stay away because he did hit me and abuse me sexually which is why I got help. I did not date, talk to nor make friends with guys for 3 years. The next guy I dated was awesome and he proposed to me before I could finish my last class before graduating I am happy for you. Please keep a written record of your voice mail, in boxes, text all contact in case you needntondile a police report. I am happy you got out early because it took me a while to heal.
In abusive and toxic relationships, yes. I would never go out of my way to insult my partner just to make him feel shitty. It most certainly is to lower their self-esteem. The cycle of abuse is based on first bombing the other person with love, then to enter a cold/abusive period, and to after that make up and become loving again. Rinse and repeat. The victim starts desperately holding on to the love bombings because they're addicted to them, and whenever their partner enters a cold/abusive stage, they'll keep making excuses ("they're having a bad day", "I deserved that", "I shouldn't have said/done that" etc), and keep holding the love bombings as the "true" image of their partner. The victim will usually be led to believe that they don't deserve better, that it's normal, and that it's ok. And that's how the abusive partner traps them.