What were this guy's intentions in looking me up on facebook?

I met this guy online in January, we really seemed to hit it off and talked very often for about two and a half months. I never have felt such a connection to anyone in my life, we could talk about anything, he even opened up to me... He was really flirty and nice although at first our chats were very fantasy-like they eventually became quite real. He never asked me anything indecent or to do anything sexual. I saw pictures of him, he saw pictures of me and also videos. The only issue was that he lived in the UK and I lived in the US. We understood that it was unlikely our relationship would develop beyond chat buddies. Well, he kept talking to me until he got in a little trouble at work for talking to me so I felt bad and quit getting online, he also started to treat me less and less flirty. Well two months later I came back online and he talked a few times but that was it. I confessed that I had feelings for him in an email and I had considered going to college in England but it seemed he was unsure of whether or not he wanted to meet me if I came. He said it was not possible for me to like him and he had said he thought I was special before and all of this other stuff so I said I guess you didn't mean those things, he got defensive but then our conversation ended on a good note, he said he would talk to me tomorrow... well I waited and waited and he never talked so I signed off for an entire summer. He eventually looked me up on facebook (which is pretty creepy because sometimes I would look him up just to look at his picture since we no longer chatted like we used to and within the same day he requested me...) and added me, he talked to me as soon as I agreed to let him be my friend and said "Hey, it's been awhile..." I told him I didn't go to England and on my page it says I'm in a relationship (I got a boyfriend in the summer) but I was really just trying to move on from him. Secretly I'm still head over heels... he hasn't talked to me since and it's been two months and he's talked to me twice for only like five minutes...

Why did he look me up? Do you think it put him off that I had a boyfriend and didn't get to go to England this year? Thanks for reading...


Most Helpful Guy

  • if I was him I wouldn't be liying. so I'm just assuming he's on the level. from what he say he's confused and nervous he doesn't believe online dating really works but for him it seems like it is

    then all a sudden he thinks you are coming, and that messes him up all his insecurities come to the fore and he's scared a you now. he gives a gut reaction but then regrets it doesn't and know how to say he's sorry. so he talks himself round and thinks that this might be cool 4 you to come to England (entirely BTW England is so much fun)

    but then he nervous again what if you not what you say he check your page to make sure. Sees you have boyfriend OUCH you Say you're not coming DOUBLE OUCH then you seemingly with draw your previous feelings for him Aaaaaand OUCH.

    Is the silence any wonder

    • So what should I do? I was accepted at a university sort of near him all I would have to do is call them up and see about the financial aid and dump my boyfriend... and then try to explain everything to the guy I truly like... I haven't stopped thinking about him and it's been almost a year since we first talked and obviously he's thought about me too... it's scary how real this feels...

    • Show All
    • for a while but in the words of somebody who's name I don't remember "this to shall pass." you'll miss so much more staying quiet then if you carpe some diam whenever you go out. Life on Life's terms is the way to go. Missed opportunities are the worst. Don't ask me how I know that.

    • i'd like to know how things went mssg me please

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • HIm taking the time to add you shows he's still interested, but after seeing your in a relationship with someone else I guess he's given up on you


What Girls Said 1

  • boys are asses! and online flirting is so so easy! it's easy to talk to someone about everything when your never gna see them...

    u can be anyone you want to be...maybe that's what put him off? he could've been making stuff up? or...on the other hand he could've had a girlfriend that he never talked about...

    or maybe he was just afraid of having to deal with the reality...

    there's also the possibility that he thought you going to england would make everything really serious...

    my gut feeling on this one would be to give the new guy a chance...this guy doesn't sound like he's worth it...

    u know the saying curiosity killed the cat, but information made him fat? it could've been as simple as his curiosity getting the better of him.

    forget him hun...ur really better off without him