Do you ever think people who INSIST they love being single mean it?

Of course, tons of people prefer to be single. I used to be one of them. However, even I had my moments where I began desiring partnership in my twenties, and I would often put on the front that I was never lonely, even if I actually was.

Doesn't mean this applies to everyone, but I know a few people who exit relationships or who are long-time singles who have to PREACH about the amazing nature of single-hood. It's obviously a facade and many of them break down eventually, but I want to know what other people think.

You know the types: every instagram post is about being single, about valuing a girl/guy you lost, how snacks are better than sex, stupid stuff like that.
Updates:
For the one tit-fucker who made the point about asexuals: this question isn't about asexual people or people not interested in relationships. It's about hetero/lesbian/gay/bi/and every other sexuality in between that gives a fuck about relationships lol.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think there's a difference between enjoying being single, vs being scared of trying to have a relationship. I think most people who claim to prefer being single, are really just scared of taking on someone.

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  • It's about knowing the costs and the benefits. Those that see the costs and have experienced them just want a break and a time to be by themselves. They just don't want to deal with the drama and heartbreak and just want time to figure out who they are and not what their SO thinks they are or should be. But they forget that their is closeness, support, and friendship that comes from being in a relationship. I am more inclined to want someone, I don't want to be alone. But for some, being alone means having freedom and freedom to be yourself.

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    • Thanks for the MHG!!! and whoever gave me two thumbs!!! I feel like a good movie!

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think people who say things like, “fuck relationships I’m better off being alone, people ain’t shit etc” just try to show others that they aren’t desperate for a relationship (Which in reality, they probably are) or to show off how independent they are. Ofc I’m not speaking for ALL.

    I’m all about independence and what not but there’s seriously nothing wrong with wanting a relationship. Yes breakups are crappy, they make you want to have trust issues, maybe you have been alone for your whole life and never had a girlfriend/boyfriend, but I don’t think it hurts to try again. People who do shit like that on Instagram are obviously very bitter and trying to somehow shit on others who are already in a relationship.

    If you wanna be alone and learn on how to build up your independence, that’s great I’m with you on that one but don’t try to show off or be bitter to those who are taken lmao. Get what I mean?

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  • I think it's healthy to enjoy being single when you are single. There are positive aspects to being single that you'll just have to give up once in you're in a relationship. The reason why the vast majority of people prefer being in a relationship is simply because the benefits outweigh the benefits of being single.

    If you're in a happy relationship and stay together for a long time or forever, that's wonderful. But there are people who jump from one relationship into the next one. As soon as one ends, they immediately seek the next one. I have a hard time believing that these people always manage to immediately find the next right person for themselves. They definitely prioritize being in a relationship at all costs over finding the right person, which would mean staying single for a while. These people are afraid of being on their own. That's not healthy.

    But to get back to your actual question, there's also the opposite - people who are always single. I think I know what you mean by those Insta-singles. I have a hard time believing *those* particular types of professional singles. They apparently feel a strong need to constantly let everyone know that they are happy by themselves. That's kinda fishy.

    There *are* people who genuinely prefer to live a partner-less life. They're not many (not counting asexuals) but they do exist. These are just not the Instagram #SelfLove ones.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 91

  • It does seem like overkill if they do it that much, but, yeah, some people genuinely like being single.

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  • Humans have found a replacement for everything today, so why not for companionship too?

    From Social media, Chatting Apps, Video Chat Rooms to Japanese sex dolls, we have already invented everything to replace companionship. In the future, we will probably have human-like androids too which we can set according to our needs.

    "Yeah.. I want my android to be tall, dark and handsome. He should look like Channing Tatum."

    "Mine should have big tits and a huge ass."

    Stuff like this isn't too far in the future so being single isn't that difficult. To procreate is a basic human need which everyone feels at some point or the another, so the question isn't if we are comfortable being single, the question is whether we can learn to live without being chained down to a specific individual for the rest of our life.

    I like being single, there are no expectations to fulfill and a greater amount of time to explore the world around you on your own terms.

    Though, this does not mean that you have to go celibate like some great philosopher or sage. It's just a state of mind that you get used to. When I view relationships, I believe that the more hobbies you have in common with the other person and the more experiences that you share with them, the more likely is your chance to be with them for a long amount of time.

    In the end.. some humans are like swans.. when they truly love someone, they can last with them forever. And then, some humans are just not into the 'one person for life' deal.

    And as for the idiots bragging about being single on social media, they are not much different from the social media couples who must post how happy they are, every second hour.

    These people live for validation because they're deeply insecure. Nothing more to it.

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  • some people mean it. some don't

    i know there was a time when i was single and particularly happy to be single after a few crummy relationships. i was happy to be single for several years until i felt ready to go out and date. i'm sure there are many who feel similarly either temporarily or long term

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  • I doubt that anyone can go forever without beeing loved, that said I think all people that praise the single life lie in a way. Ofc beeing single has amazing features but beeing loved is something amazing that outshines everything. But Judging by past relationship attempts and Hookups, Ill sadly die single I guess :D

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    • Being single doesn’t mean they don’t feel love.
      People always believe that in order to be fulfilled you need to have a romantic partner. That’s simply not true. Maybe for some. But not every person feels that way. Me personally, I will be completely satisfied with lifelong best friend and my (future) adoptive child. Those are different forms of love. And I also love myself. So... I don’t feel like I’m not loved or lacking in that department.

    • @Ellie-V yes but everyone needs to feel love in a way. Most people won't adopt a child, and without adopting a child they´d need a partner to make one. I do feel love for myself and by my friends, but thats not the same in my opinion. Id love to have a relationship since I think that bond of love is stronger.

    • I understand you feel that way. But I don’t think one or the other is stronger.
      My point is there are different kinds of love, no one is superior to the other, but most people tend to believe the opposite.
      I feel it’s mainly because of social pressure to find a romantic partner. There’s also the sex thing that most are stuck on.
      But anyways, all kinds of love can be fulfilling if you don’t close your mind off to it. And it takes a secure person to realize that.

  • You do realize that there are asexual people around right?

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    • This question isn't about asexual people lol.

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    • @cutiebytheshore123 I kinda feel bad though. Like no one else wants to talk with him so now he's just talking into the air. Should we get help?

    • If I say the word asexual will it trigger you some more?

  • No they dont.
    It's a coping mechanism they use to make themselves believe the false reality of their sad miserable existence.

    They say it as a front but once they get behind closed doors they cry their lonely eyes out from wondering why they can't find someone

    Even being a player gets lonely

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    • lol 2 thumbs down

      Human beings crave companionship, the only ones who dont are autistic.

  • I love being single so much I plan to have this status for life lol

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    • I'm thinking I should explain because it seems most people can't seem to understand this mindset. I've never been happy in relationships even ones I'd describe as good. I always feel tied down like there's a huge weight on my shoulders. I have to incorporate this person into every aspect of my life and I'm a super private person. I like to plan my own moves without having to answer or explain to anyone. You could say I have very little patience for people. I don't mind dealing with people but what's most liberating to me is knowing I have a place where I can go where i can be free of all that. I hate confrontation and disagreements which inevitably happen in relationships. I just enjoy marching to the beat of my own drum. I've also never really liked intimacy nor do I feel the need for it. I do have a high sex drive but that's something else I prefer to take care of on my own rather than having to bring someone else into it which complicates things. I know my body better than anyone.

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    • I've never had to financially take care of my partner, personally, we've both always had our own jobs.

    • Thanks! You too!

  • there is a difference between convincing others and convincing ones self. fact is most people who constantly say they love being single are trying to convince themselves. Someone who is truly happy single does not feel the need to say it.

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  • There's great stuff about being single... But there's also great stuff about being in a relationship. And ultimately the grass tends to be greener on the other side of the hill. If you're single you can get really lonely. But if you're dating you can really want freedom. So it depends on the person-- but I doubt many people are truly happy being single if they talk about it THAT much.

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  • Singlehood is awesome for one's personality but deep down every single person knows that they would be happy being in a relationship as it is good for one's soul.

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  • No. That's why they're such loudmouths about it. Compensation.

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    • Just bc you're dependent doesn't mean everyone else is

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    • Dudes writing essays. what kinda life is that? 😂🤣

    • @cutiebytheshore123, you just proved my point. You can't stand the thought of not responding to me. I am extremely important to you. I am so important that you WILL respond to this post, too. Either that, or you're an immature little child who is only single because you've driven away every decent human being and now you compensate by pretending that it's your "choice" and you "love" it.

      Either way, I own you--or a least a piece of you. You can prove I don't own you: Don't respond or even mention me elsewhere. If you do, then you prove that I own a piece of your mind.

  • It depends on the person. If you had a rough breakup/divorce and emotionally broken then in love with being single only implies you are worried about the past waiting to repeat.

    But if a person has never been in a relationship is just hiding behind a mask regardless of your love life troubles either way when you age you will be wanting a partner because life gets real lonely when you grow older which further leads to more problems.

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  • For now I do. I did used to want someone but after trying so hard and waiting with nothing but rejection I said I cba. And even then it’s so much work and commitment that I don’t realistically have time for.

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  • In my case I've never not been single so I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship I will say after seeing many friends and family go through some tough relationships I do value my freedom and I enjoy the fact that I haven't had any serious heartbreak or anything involving having to worry about someone not being faithful to me.

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  • I tell people I love being single because I can’t tell them that no girl finds me attractive and every girl I ask out rejects me. I get jealous when I see couples holding hands, kissing or when I see people on social media enjoying vacations or restaurants. I feel every one deserves to be loved but in my case it’s completely rejections 😔

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  • To love it being single has at least 2 interpretations. 1 is no desire in the heart, being free, it's great! No. 2 is being alone and not having a partner, it's not so great...

    Looking at the troubles relations can being, it's great to have your heart for yourself and no one to break it.
    Looking at being alone, ... do I need to explain?

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  • Depends... They've either been in too many relationships to count and they want a break. Or they have given up on even trying to find someone and just feels like he/she are better off being single - they lie to friends and family that they rather be single.

    The most common phrase people say over and over again who feel that way (speaking from experience) is "I'm fine".
    To actually be fine, you have to have friends and a significant other - just having one or The other will not work.
    😎

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  • I would say yes, they do mean it. I have always been single and I wish to remain single for life. I mean it.

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  • I love it. I get to live my life the way I want to spend my money the way I want to, all without someone nagging me and using me for my money. I'd call that a win.

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  • I think that the people who insist saying such things just never knew what love truly is :) OR are still affected by what happened to them in their last relationship

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What Girls Said 54

  • I don’t think the majority of single people who say that really mean it.

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  • Yes, I love being single. I really do mean that. I don't understand why some may think people lie about that. Learn how to love yourself first so you don't take other people bs when you finally do get in a relationship. So many people today stay in bad relationships because they don't want to be alone.

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    • Yeah I trust someones intentions infinitely more if they know how to be happy and single. Its the people who can't be happy without someone attached at the hip that I can't trust

  • I feel like it’s a mix.

    > There’s people who might seriously prefer to be single
    > Some people might lie to themselves to avoid talking about actual Hong’s that are going on within them. Some don’t feel ready for a relationship for different reasons. Some might have too much low self esteem. Etc
    >sometimes it’s just a pro and con.

    Me myself: I loved being single. I liked that I could listen to my own music and rock out on my own. I enjoyed my own company. Sometimes I hung with friends and family when I was too isolated. BUT like you, I also began to crave partnership. In my current relationship, I enjoy that I’m learning from someone else. I enjoy being hugged and kissed. I enjoy being around my goofy partner... but of course... relationships (at least the ones you take seriously) takes work. My partner and I have been through a couple of bumps. Sometimes I hate that he leaves a mess or throws clean laundry on the floor.

    So I guess you could also just say for some it could depend if they like the partners they are with 😅 for some maybe they haven’t met that person... or THEY JUST LIKE INDEPENDENCE.

    There could be a lot I would say. It’s a big world. There’s a billion reasons why someone does or doesn’t or if they really do or not like being single.

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  • As you said, there are those people who put on a facade, but I think there are plenty of people who enjoy being single. I've had long periods where I've been single, and when I was in my early twenties I enjoyed it for the wrong reasons... when I was older and single, I enjoyed it because it gave me a chance to really focus and throw myself into other commitments... plus I got to really just work on my own issues, not having a relationship allows you to do that without it affecting another person, which is ideal... I found when I was single, and enjoying it for the right reasons and wrong reasons, and all of my friends would preach to me about finding a relationship or trying to set me up... which always prompted me to let them know I was happy being single, which I find society sometimes can't deal with people being happy in their singlehood... like people who are single are incomplete or something... I dont think anyone wants to die alone, be sick and ailing alone, or wants to truly be solo for the duration of their life... I do think people under 70 can be perfectly content being alone, and there isn't anything wrong with that.

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  • I honestly love being single. I feel so much more free to talk to and hang out with whoever I want. Relationships are not for me. Too much stress and drama and then eventually, I just get my heart broken so what's the point? I don't want to give someone the power to hurt me

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  • For starters, I’m single and I don’t do that shit like posting how snacks are better than sex or relationships etc. I agree that shit is annoying. The one who post shit like that are usually the ones to jump on the first dick that says possible relationship. I also don’t advertise my singleness like a desperate person. Desperation is bad perfume to wear. I view my singleness as taking the time to work on me, be selfish, and to grow as a person so when I do meet the right guy I would have something to offer and know what I want in return because I spent time looking into myself and what my needs are.

    I genuinely enjoy being single. I’m not saying I don’t have moments where I feel lonely. I was in a situation where the way a guy was pursuing me made me feel lonely and made me realize he’s stringing me along for emotional support. Had I not done self work, I would have missed the fact that the way this man is pursuing me makes me feel lonely and if he’s doing this now imagine if we dated or were in a relationship. I could have just saved myself the pain and stayed alone. Not be with someone’s who makes me feel Lonlier than when I was alone.

    Point is, it’s all about perspective during a moment in time.

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  • Post breakup, a lot of people feel that way, mostly if the relationship was toxic or dead. It does feel good to free of the weight of that.

    People who say any food is better for sex, I'm so sorry they've never transcended to another universe of moans and eye rolls and orgasms. sucks to be them XD

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  • Yeah, sure everyone has their moments where they wish for a partner but overall I'm really damn happy being single and I mean it.
    And yes sure you're alone but there is a difference between being alone and lonely and honesty being alone is exactly what I need and want right now
    I got plenty of time for me, to handle my own bullshit and work for the things I want in life
    Here and there I go on dates and have my flirts and that's fine for me

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  • Eh, we all have coping mechanisms, and exaggerating the "highlights" of your current situation might help you feel less shitty, and/or display to one's ex that you're doing just fine without them.

    That said, obviously some people take it too far to the point where they're hurting inside and their behavior is counterproductive.

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  • All over I like being single but every once in a while, I like the idea of a relationship. I think about how unhappy I was in my last relationship and how I even wished I was single. Right now, its better for me to be single. When I was dating around I put work and school on the less important thing.

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  • Some people enjoy being single for a time, either they don't have time or energy for a relationship or they aren't ready, etc. But I dont think anyone wants to be single for the rest of their lives.

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  • There are many reasons why they would say that lying is one of them but a lot of people dont know what love is because they have never experienced it and many people who come from divorce learned young to associate love with hatred

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  • Depends. I've been single for a long time now and I've pretty much have gotten use to it. Though I do admit I miss the days of waking up next to somebody, being single (for me) does have its perky and qualities that I love~

    Would I like a relationship? Yes.
    But I would rather stay single than be in a bad relationship.

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  • There lying. Sometimes there can be positive sides to it but very rarely It's actually really painful at times and you feel extreme loneliness and sadness but you can't have someone to share all the special moments with

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  • Being single is like going on an all expense paid vacation forever. They get so happy and caught up, they just have to talk about it constantly.
    Also there are some seriously lonely people who try to tear down other people’s happiness and so that person feels the need to defend themselves.
    But yes there are fakers. I just think they come in a handful. Being loud and proud about living single is the romantic equivalent to graduating from Harvard 😂 that’s how much they really believe they’ve accomplished something.

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  • Depends on if the lives they live back up their claims.

    I knew a woman who "loved" being single, yet became a chain-smoker, a functional alcoholic and a "party-animal" who never dances, but only drinks at parties/in clubs.
    I did not buy it.

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  • Yes, I believe they mean it. theyve probably gone through relationships after relationships then realized happiness is achieved by getting to know your self which means being single. i love being single

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  • It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal so yeah probably most of them secretly desire to find somebody but they won't admit it

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  • I'm sure many do, I insist on it personally because society refuses to believe that one can live a happy fulfilling life being single and that's stupid af

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  • Yes, all my life I’ve been treated badly by the opposite sex, starting with my father, who used me as a punchbag.. when you’re only a kid you actually think that’s normal being dragged about by the hair at 7. anyone that’s been physically or sexually abused by their father will know exactly what I mean when I type this.. no self worth if your so called dad doesn’t love you who will? Pick one bastard after another until one day you say enough no more. Better off on my own

    Some folk just get sick and tired being hurt

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