Doesn't mean this applies to everyone, but I know a few people who exit relationships or who are long-time singles who have to PREACH about the amazing nature of single-hood. It's obviously a facade and many of them break down eventually, but I want to know what other people think.
You know the types: every instagram post is about being single, about valuing a girl/guy you lost, how snacks are better than sex, stupid stuff like that.
Most Helpful Guys
I think there's a difference between enjoying being single, vs being scared of trying to have a relationship. I think most people who claim to prefer being single, are really just scared of taking on someone.2
It's about knowing the costs and the benefits. Those that see the costs and have experienced them just want a break and a time to be by themselves. They just don't want to deal with the drama and heartbreak and just want time to figure out who they are and not what their SO thinks they are or should be. But they forget that their is closeness, support, and friendship that comes from being in a relationship. I am more inclined to want someone, I don't want to be alone. But for some, being alone means having freedom and freedom to be yourself.5
Most Helpful Girls
I think people who say things like, “fuck relationships I’m better off being alone, people ain’t shit etc” just try to show others that they aren’t desperate for a relationship (Which in reality, they probably are) or to show off how independent they are. Ofc I’m not speaking for ALL.
I’m all about independence and what not but there’s seriously nothing wrong with wanting a relationship. Yes breakups are crappy, they make you want to have trust issues, maybe you have been alone for your whole life and never had a girlfriend/boyfriend, but I don’t think it hurts to try again. People who do shit like that on Instagram are obviously very bitter and trying to somehow shit on others who are already in a relationship.
If you wanna be alone and learn on how to build up your independence, that’s great I’m with you on that one but don’t try to show off or be bitter to those who are taken lmao. Get what I mean?6
I think it's healthy to enjoy being single when you are single. There are positive aspects to being single that you'll just have to give up once in you're in a relationship. The reason why the vast majority of people prefer being in a relationship is simply because the benefits outweigh the benefits of being single.
If you're in a happy relationship and stay together for a long time or forever, that's wonderful. But there are people who jump from one relationship into the next one. As soon as one ends, they immediately seek the next one. I have a hard time believing that these people always manage to immediately find the next right person for themselves. They definitely prioritize being in a relationship at all costs over finding the right person, which would mean staying single for a while. These people are afraid of being on their own. That's not healthy.
But to get back to your actual question, there's also the opposite - people who are always single. I think I know what you mean by those Insta-singles. I have a hard time believing *those* particular types of professional singles. They apparently feel a strong need to constantly let everyone know that they are happy by themselves. That's kinda fishy.
There *are* people who genuinely prefer to live a partner-less life. They're not many (not counting asexuals) but they do exist. These are just not the Instagram #SelfLove ones.4