Most Helpful Guys
Yup. Cause like it or not, 1/4+ of dating is associated usually with sexual sort of feelings. And people will do all sorts of stupid selfish shit to feed their sexual greed. Meanwhile the nicer people not so into the sexual aspect, instead of being thought of as a good thing, are bashed relentlessly likely out of jealousy and guilt, because they assumed as either "immature", "lying" or "fake" even though they 100% are not. the nice aspect too is the same thing as being nice these days people assume it's fake and not genuine even though it often is. Meanwhile, people much meaner and more selfish are seen as at least being truthful so therefore, get more positive attention. Why do you think so many people choose now not to date at all? We get sick of dealing with all this. No matter what you do, nobody truly likes anybody unless knowing them for like 10 years, but that's not even possible without giving a chance, yet in order to give a chance, they must have known them for like 10 years. Kinda like the "getting a first job" paradox, where it's an endless cycle of "need experience for job, while needing job for experience" It's often simply not possible. People are just too expectant, yet can't meet the same expectation themselves. Now watch too, if any comments go to this, they will likely label me as a "beta" or a "nice guy" or something like that. But really when did the word nice EVER become a bad thing? If somebody is a "nice guy" they are NOT actually a nice guy. So, why not call em an asshole? Isn't that the appropriate wording? Mixing in "nice" to be equal as "asshole"is awful and shameful. And it's so ironic, cause the ones who do use the whole "nice" thing then also complain about somebody who is mean, or rapes them, or cheats, well, WHY were they ever given a chance knowing they were mean? Why not give somebody who appears friendly the benefit of the doubt that they ARE friendly and have a 50/50 of an asshole than 100% of getting an asshole? Society sucks.
I don't even understand why it would be more difficult.
I think people confuse being good, with being naive and/or a pushover.
Being good simply means that you have empathy for others. You take the other person's feelings into consideration, you want to make the other happy, you want to avoid any harm, however, your own feelings and desires still come first. That doesn't make you a bad person, that's just normal and fair. What matters is that you're honest with your own feelings and intentions. This doesn't make dating harder, it makes dating easier, because you are not deceiving yourself or others.
Now I get that if you are dishonest you can easily manipulate another person into habving sex but that is not the question. The question is about dating, where in the medium and long term it is always better to be honest, so good people should have an easier time dating.
Most Helpful Girls
I would like to think I'm a good person and I have no trouble dating. If people have difficulty dating, I don't believe it's because they're a good person, but because they lack something that their dating pool is looking for.
I personally constantly get used because I put their needs before mine and their happiness and well being becomes more important to me than my own, which I begin sacrificing. I used to be really trusting too (I now have trust issues so no more) and that made it really easy for them to lie to me and take advantage of me without me noticing straight away cuz I ‘trust them’. Plus yeah many people will not reciprocate your kindness and care and that can lead to pain and even problems later on - like my trust issues and stopping to want to get close to anyone at all anymore