Is it bad to wait a few dates before telling someone you have a child?

I really like this guy but feel as though he’s not going to like me back because i’m a mom. My confidence has reached an all time low and really can’t take rejection anymore off guys.
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  • No
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Um. . . . are you ashamed of your child? ? ? Look you are who you are, look at the positives, you're young enough to bounce back because this is prime age for healthy baby, and healthy mum. Say that to people. Say you're proud to be a young mum, and that your baby is healthy and your body is too.

    Look bottom line kids take time. They take time away from couples. It IS going to be hard for you. But some guys like kids and want to be fatherly. The more you act like your kid's a dirty secret, the more guys will think of you as used and desperate. There IS a genuine feeling among guys that, ugh, someone else got to plant the seed, now I have to look after the garden? Just honesty, but the thing is, that mindset is completely removed when the girl has a stable, non-intrusive friendship with her kid's father, or she's unwilling to ever see that guy again. And over and above that, if the girl is proud and upfront about her child.

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  • And what difference does it make with waiting to tell him? Eventually you will have to and if he doesn't want that it will only be 10 times worse cause you lulled yourself into believing he will be different. If he doesn't mind he doesn't mind now also but might mind later because you didn't tell. Sorry but that's the price you pay for having children your dating life is not what it used to be.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Your child should be the most important thing in your life not dating or worrying about rejection. If you do choose to date your child should be one of, if not THE FIRST topic of discussion. Why would you even consider someone who wouldn't want you because you're a mother? If your confidence is that low you shouldn't be dating or looking for attention from men as a pick-me-up, seeking validation through others will only continue to bring you down, you need to focus more on finding happiness within yourself and being the best mom you can be.

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  • Yes, I think it is bad. That's something you definitely need to be upfront about. Even if you think they may lose interest, this is something that the other person deserves to know going into dating you. Your child is a major part of your life and who you are. It should never be something you are ashamed of, but obviously there are some people out there who either don't want kids themselves or simply aren't interested in dating someone with kids and you need to understand and respect that.

    If that fact about you makes someone lose interest then clearly they weren't the right person for you anyway. For others, being honest from the very beginning could make a difference to them and they will still take the time to get to know you. I'm sure it's hard to be in the dating world when you have a child but don't give up. Even if it takes a while to find, the right person is out there. ❤️

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What Guys Said 41

  • As long as you don't hide the fact and lie about it... He might understand why you didn't say anything up front, know I would. I had to deal with something similar to this, and would wait to tell them because I was tired of being rejected before they even gave me a chance...

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  • Ask yourself why you're doing it, and answer honestly. I'm willing to bet that your answer is something along the lines of "if I can make him more attached to me before I tell him, the decision will be much harder for him, and he might be less likely to leave." You don't need me to inform you of how selfish that is.

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  • I think the longer you hide it the more likely to alienate him when you do tell him. He'll wonder why you didn't trust him to tell him.
    If he's the kind of guy you want in your life, he'll not have an issue with it. If he does have an issue, he's not worth your time. Either way, assuming you want this to progress into a relationship, you need to tell him.

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  • It's okay as long as it's so you can see whether you think the guy is worth it, but once you know you like the guy you should tell him. You do you, being a single parent is hard so don't you worry about it.

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  • Add someone divorced with 3 kids dating.. You shouldn't be looking for anything serious, if you can't live with rejection. Otherwise you'll end up settling for someone, and dragging your kids into it. Your kids deserve more.

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  • Sorry girl he will probably drop you like a bag of potatoes. Single mom's are not dating material because men don't want to date girls with kids. It's not healthy and he knows he will never be the #1 in your life.

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  • I think you should be honest, just because if he or anyone else is going to say no to you over that, better to get it over with sooner rather than later.

    I'm not trying to be harsh, it's just the reality

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  • Stop creating straw men. You're running yourself down because you THINK he'll reject you; that's a disservice to both you and him. Let him make up his own mind before you rule him out based on your fears.

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  • If a girl was pregnant i would have more faith in her if she told me upfront that she was pregnant or she could ask me if i would date pregnant girls and yes i would providing she was upright honest with me in the beginning and i would never reject a girl.

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  • Yeah, pretty much being deceptive to try and increase your chances, if you're going to tell them anyway, be honest about it so you don't wait both your time in the process.

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What Girls Said 8

  • If they can't handle you being a mom, then why do they deserve you? You owe it to your kids to find someone who can accept them.

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  • You don´t owe someone you just met and started dating a complete run down of your life. Of course it gets to a point where those things should be talked about but I don´t think it´s after a couple of dates.

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  • you should get that info out there as soon as possible. If its a deal breaker for a guy, better to have him back off before you get too emotionally connected. Plus its a part of who you are. You're a mother, You're either proud to be a parent to your child or not, and if you are not, maybe getting priorities aligned should come before dating.

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  • Tell him on the first date so he won't think you've been untruthful.

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  • You should tell him right away. If he doesn't like the idea it's better to get over it soon instead of waiting longer and getting attached.

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  • Depends on the guy but some guys wouldn't like such an expected twist like that

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  • It's very bad. I love children and a date's attractiveness increases manifold.

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  • You shouldn't hide it too long.

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