Why are you single right now?

Updates:
Didn’t think this question would blow up... interesting views☺️

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Because of social anxiety that was fairly bad many years ago that prevented me from approaching girls and asking ones out that I shoud have. As a result, have only been with a few girls. But unfortunatley have the desire to be with more girls, because of what I felt I left on the table, especially considering, I've always felt I'm an attractive guy and very funny and charming. But I didn't take the chances so that didn't mean much. So as a result, it's been hard wanting to get in a relationship and just wanting casual or non commital relations with women, becaue I do want a serious relationship. But it's made me really desire to sow my oats, because I didn't in the past. And like don't want to turn the page until I do so. But this sucks, because I would end up meeting a great girl and not be in a relationship and then regret that. But I need to fix this because even if I met a great girl, this will still be there and I think would ruin a relationship I'm in.

    Not because I would cheat but it would be on my mind. I want this all behind me, so I feel it's best I do so, and which I have been meeting some girls, though not ready to give up single life just yet. But it sucks because girls are kind of my redemption even though I'm not lying to any of them. I kind of am still using them becaude of the reasons I'm wanting to have casual sex.

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    • I don’t know how old you are but even at my age I’m not interested in hookups unless I really really want to but I prefer committed relationships. I’m focusing on myself right now though. You need to figure out what you want since your getting older most girls definitely in their 30s are looking to settle down... unless you’ll be figuring it out later in life wondering what happened

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    • thank you and exactly. It's something where I just want to get out of my system and have some fun memories. But not like someone where I just want that or too long. Some guys just never want to committ, that wouldn't be me. If a do what I hope, it could be sooner than later that I'd want a relationship, because I do have a strong affectionate, romantic feelings. So I do love the affection, love and compassion with a relationship. I've been in one before. I enjoy both sides and see pros and cons for both. Though I need to have some fun first because the special woman I meet deserves a guy that's not sure about what he wants and deserves a guy that's fully committed. I know I would be fully committed if I get it out of my system, becauseI do have the emotions that suggest I would love being in a relationship when ready.

    • yeah it is a little late, trust me I have regrets about it, but also why I need to do something about it. I also look younger too, I don't know if that helps. Everybody is often surprised when I say I'm 32. It's not a big different but often thought that I'm between 26-29 years old. I've aged well apparently and my build and such is the same as when I was 25

  • My friends ask me that question a lot so I have a bit opinion about it. It is strange that the time we can actually seek a relationship is also time when you make something out of your life. I wish to grow more as an individual and it so happens as I see that people in relationships do grow but sometimes with sacrifices and their growth also leads for them to grow apart from each other. I think when you know for fact that something is certain to happen then it boils down to what you want in life.

    Seek for happiness. I had my losses and know what it feels like to be heartbroken. I still deal with that but I keep my mind to things which I want in life. At some point, I will find someone but by then I believe I will be at much better position, much more worthy for her and give my better self to that person.

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    • Aw I love this... Very wise! But I’ve definitely seen the growing up and apart a lot happen with people I know. I want a relationship but I don’t at the same time right now. So I’m just going to focus on myself right now

Most Helpful Girls

  • Because I’ve been hurt, lied to and cheated on so much that I’ve lost the ability to trust someone new or the wish to find one, as at the end of the day they will leave me with another scar, and only bring more pain after some temporary happiness. I’m just damaged

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    • You aren’t damaged... you’re worthy of love you just haven’t met the right one yet which you have plenty of time. Your going to go through a lot that’s the way life goes but it makes you stronger and a little easier to start picking out the good and not so good guys. Take care💕

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    • Like everything it takes time. Don't worry. You find someone time permitting.

    • Thanks for MHO!

  • I hate to be that person but honestly cos i dont wanna. I feel too young to get into a proper committed relationship where i can't just walk out when i want to cos feeeeeelings exists. and its so much work i dont want more stuff on my plate.

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What Guys Said 193

  • Because I have only known my girlfriend for 6 months and I will wait until I have known her for at least 2 years before I consider marriage.

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  • I'd say being overweight, being poor, have little to no friends and still living with my mom at 25 factor into it.
    But admittedly, as much as I hate to say it, it's ultimately because I'm depressed and I don't love myself enough.
    I used to have it all in college: freedom, friends (not a million "friends" but rather a group I was very close to), motivation to better myself (especially my weight), and ultimately happiness. That was the only time in my life I was ever in a relationship. But then graduation came and bit me in the a**. I didn't even pretend to be happy that day as I knew my life was going back to sh*t.
    My close friends from college are now distant, I realized I disliked most of my friends from home so I have no friends to go out with, my relationship became long-distance, I gained back a bunch of my lost weight, I struggled for two years to find work in my field, I fell behind in debt, and my grandfather passed away. Then my girlfriend broke up with me. I continued to struggle to find work and motivation to exercise because I got really miserable, and then my other grandfather passed away.
    It's now been two years after graduation and I still feel distant from people at home, including most of my family. But I finally got a decent job in my field a few months ago so, though the idea of moving out is still far from my reach, I'm definitely working toward it, now that I'm all caught up on my debt. In this month I got back on my almost daily exercise routine and am finding myself waking up early to do so often before work.
    So even though I'm still unhappy with myself, I am working to change that again, slowly but surely.

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    • So, what you're saying is, you have very low self-esteem, right?

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    • Thank you. I appreciate the kind words. I'm just sick of waiting and I feel like my entire life is waiting! And for what? For a good thing to come and go by the snap of a finger and then many more years of waiting?
      Also I'm sorry it took me five days to respond.

    • And lately every time I get a paycheck, I also get some large surprise expense that costs me most of it. So my efforts to save really get hindered. I'm even behind on getting my car to the shop because I recently had to renew my registration and pay my monthly student loan fee.

  • Choice first because feminism has ruined most if not all western women. Along with metoo and all laws are against men in dating and marriage. Also there is no benefit to dating or a relationship for a man bc most women open their legs to anyone it’s not like you’re getting anything exclusive or special she didn’t give to a hundred men prior to you. All you get as a man in a relationship is a headache and the depletion of your bank account. Maybe a std.

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    • When I see post like this I wonder to myself why this would hold You back? I’m apparently a part of the metoo movement before it even started. Wow is all I have to say you keep that energy up then maybe it’s best you work on yourself before bashing All women who do not fit what you just said and can bring things to the table. Best of luck to you sir.

  • Mostly because I am too loving and romantic, I try too hard to be supportive and the women I have been with abused that

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    • That’s perfect... ugh I hate when women take advantage of such good guys!

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    • I don’t think so he has a lot of pain unfortunately and lost both his parents in a car accident and I feel like he seeks out love regardless if they really care but I’m hoping!

    • Hopefully one day he can find that special person that will

  • I am single, because I gave up on dating, because people just kept messing around.

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    • Ignore my comment, I was in bad mood at the time. The real reason I am single, is cause I am a coward who has never really tried with girls.

    • You should try there’s no harm in it!

    • Yes will do, thanks for the encouragment.

  • I've got a certain woman in mind that I want to be with and I don't wanna settle for anything less because I'd feel like I'd be cheating myself, which wouldn't be fair to either of us. Sadly, I have yet to come across the type of woman I'm interested in. Sometimes I'll see them in passing but I'm usually too flustered to do anything because we all know how women feel about being approached by random guys they've never met.

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    • Well next time you need to shoot your shot when you feel she matches what you want! Tread lightly though.

    • I don't know how to tread lightly. I don't know what that would look like. I either tread or I don't tread at all

  • I have been single for about three years now. I dated some girls here and there, but nothing serious or for more than a month or two. A big part of the reason is because I had to break up with my last big ex only because of moving countries, and she was by far my favorite girlfriend so far in life. I think because of that, I end up comparing every girl to her and no one has come even close to matching the simply natural relationship we had. I never felt like I had to try with her, everything just made sense right from our first date. We even still keep in touch via these crazy long letters... but alas that can not be so I have to figure something out.

    More directly to your question, I haven't even been on a date in the last 6-8 months. which is due to thee things. One is that I moved to a whole new city where I know one person, but she travels a ton for work and lives with her boyfriend- he's really cool but they don't go out much- thus I don't have much of a social network to use to meet people. All of my colleagues at work are older with kids and married/ divorced so no hope there. The second is because I just grew tired and frustrating going on all these dates and never feeling that same spark with anyone. The third is pure laziness... My new job keeps me pretty busy, I work some on most weekends too, so it can be hard to have the energy or motivation to try and meet people when all I want is a moment to myself to relax.

    And there's my life story for ya!

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  • Because I don't want to lose my career, money, or risk going to jail at no fault of my own.

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  • Because I am fearful of the result. It's that questioning of myself of whether I'm good enough, what their initial reaction to me will be, are they going to accept or downright say no. I don't know if I'm attractive or not, I've heard yes and no, so I have that lack of confidence and have the fear to go along with it. Dont get me wrong, I can initiate a conversation, but when it comes to asking the girl out, I freeze, then think of a way out of the conversation

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  • Having a break from relationships after my divorce. They just don't seem worth the the time or the effort.

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    • A lot of people are saying divorce😢 but that seems very reasonable!

    • Divorce changes men. It doesn't seem to have the same effect on women.

    • My parents got divorced when I was younger my mom seemed to struggle the most emotionally it’s different for everyone

  • I'm a widower and have become so set in my ways that it would take a perfect woman to deal with me. If a perfect women does exist, why the Hell would she want an aging widower?

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  • It's because I smell of dead fish and my interests are stamp collecting, licking peoples' windows and collecting My Little Ponies.

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  • Im not for the first time in 18 years so bad timing, but I always was single because I never cared enough about people to get emotionally invested I think. I have a really hard time finding people I truly find interesting, boys or girls.

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  • Because I'm "cursed" to be alone. I can't find at least one girl to give me a chance to take her on a date. But sometimes... i take a chance to think about it if I'm ready to be in a relationship?🤔 #IDK

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  • Yep.
    Enoying the time, but would like to find someone to share my life with.

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  • Because i broke up with my girlfriend because still i wanted sex from her but didn't feel the love anynore so i thought it would be best not to use her... but apparently this doesn't matter so... and sinnce then i have been searching and as i find not a soul thst is near me and thst i could meet i am giving up hope...
    I don't know why i am still single, guess i am unwanted here

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  • I have a lot of work to do on myself. I have a lot of baggage. I don't think I should be with anyone either, so there's that too. Also, I don't have anyone I want to be with. My standards are too high for my own good.

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  • I'm completely oblivious to everything happening around me so I'd never know if anyone likes me.

    Furthermore I'm quite introverted and tend to prefer not to talk to people I don't know.

    I'm also not aware of anyone irl finding me somewhat attractive so that also doesn't help

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  • I got into a car accident and she didn't want to deal with someone that's disabled

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  • After my divorce, I'm laying low from relationships for a while.

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  • Because I'm fat, ugly, dumb and no one likes me. That's why...

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  • although i am young i am a great boyfriend and friend and person but no one is willing to get into one. everyone says id make a great boyfriend but im still alone. i do get desperate and lonely but im willing to wait to find the right one. it does get annoying in this day and age to still be a virgin and alone in general

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  • I could say it's because I don't have a car, because I don't hang out bars or clubs, but the truth is I don't know.
    I don't understand why women seem to like me, they find me to be a great friend and that's all I seem to be good enough for is being a good friend.

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  • I'm too old school, I don't use my phone or any social media that often, I enjoy super long walks/runs that a lot of people find boring. Other then that I don't really socialize at all.

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  • I am a white man so every girl hates me. Girls only like black men.

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    • Both my ex’s were white... rethink your opinion because that’s not true at all.

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    • It's a widely known fact that black men are more attarctive. Even white women don't want them.

    • Agree to disagree on this.

  • The last girlfriend killed my soul and I do not have it in me to try again at the moment. Dating is awful.

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    • James... there are still nice people out there... just because u met a sick girl ( sorry) who put u though whatever u ve been through... doesn't mean dating is awful... when u find the rite one.. she will pick Ur pieces and lead u to peace.

    • My ex was controlling and cheated on me... I broke up with him and I’m taking a longggg break with guys because of what I’ve been through. But I still believe dating when In a healthy relationship can be amazing! Don’t give up

  • My fiance' died about 20 years ago just 2 weeks before our wedding. Since then, have not found the girl to fall in love with. I enjoy being single and having the ability to fuck just about anyone I want.

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  • Because I am a sissy boy who wants to be dominated and humiliated used and abused

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    • Oh good luck with finding your dominatrix

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    • And does this mean we are a couple. i an starting transgender so I may have a pussy 4 u to lik

    • No for starters you need to fuck off and stand in the rain all day

  • I’m starting college again in a week. Don’t need any distractions.

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    • I feel you

    • Apparently one guy doesn’t like my opinion on my own dating life. Sorry that I want what’s best. 🤣

    • He disliked almost all of them we got into an argument and he wanted to act like a little bitch soo he got blocked 🤷🏽‍♀️ sorry😂

  • I am in the restroom right now so...
    xD
    No sucess. Or not easily interested by someone. Or the girl is already with someone. Not easy to forget someone also.

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What Girls Said 65

  • Because I'm thirteen and I don't plan to start dating until I'm at least sixteen and I don't want to get my heart broken by a little boy who doesn't know his butt from a hole in the ground that "loved" me and who breaks up with me after fifteen seconds of us "dating". I might wait till I'm twenty though 😃

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  • These are some the reasons why I'm single:

    - I don't go out much
    - I have no male friends
    - I have low self-esteem
    - I don't know how to talk to guys
    - I'm average looking
    - I'm shy
    - I'm attracted to white guys and I'm a black girl
    - I live in a racist country
    - I'm not interested in dating guys from the country where I live

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    • Where are you from?

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    • @Joel07 O racismo não tem nada a ver com a nacionalidade. E eu não te julguei pela tua cor de pele.
      Mas sabes que mais? É melhor pararmos com esta discussão, porque não vamos chegar a lado nenhum. Além disso tu nunca me vais entender.
      Mantém a tua opinião e vou manter a minha (com as minhas experiências).

    • A discriminação com base na nacionalidade tem o nome de xenofobia. E eu não posso ser xenófoba uma vez que sou estrangeira em Portugal.

  • I'm a workaholic.

    Long hours, come home late in the evenings, then weekends I catch up on sleep and sort out things i wasn't able to during the week.
    So I barely have the time to go out... not good from a social aspect, I suppose.

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    • I am too but I try to do self care for my profession I have to. Some weeks I can’t definitely empathize!

    • I do take breaks every now and again too but i guess the focus is else where... another point is finding someone that won't waste my time. Not into playing games..

  • Long story short not only have I had bad experience with guys but I also haven’t met a guy that wants something long term or that wants love. In the area I live in, most guys just want sex and that’s all.
    So I’ll rather stay single, work more on myself and whenever someone that seems worth trying for comes along then I’ll see where that takes me.

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    • how long have you been single for?

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    • Wow. Well you're young, and doesn't count since I'm a dude. So while I know how guys are generally more visual and sex driven than women. But even if I strictly wanted a relationship, yes guys can want only or mainly a relationship too. I'd hold off from sex or women if they don't seem like they'd be a good girlfriend or don't want a relationship. But that hold off could only go on for so long even if really don't want casual sex, because being abstinent could be like torture which one is doing if they only want a relationship but meeting people of the opposite sex. But not having sex, not because said people don't want it with them, but because they aren't a match for something serious or said people just want something casual. I wonder for many girls, if they want relationships and mainly do, if they give in sometimes because so much time goes by. I know there's masturbation and women have toys that do such tricks well and a lot of guys dont' know what they are doing it seems

    • But still, doesn't seem to beat sex and a being intimate with a sexy person and sexy body...

  • Recently got out of a relationship.
    Just taking some time to myself.
    Will get back out there soon lol

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  • Because fuck dating, a lot of work and a lot of money for some cunt and it doesn't work out in the end anyway.

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    • Aw I’m sorry you feel that way someone will come along that’s worth it... that’s what I’m trying to believe

  • Being single is giving me lots of space in my mind... Freedom, freewill, happiness, no drama , less tension , more time for urself... currently m a happy single

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    • I hate when girls say "oooo single means freedom" ex was up my ass 24fucking7 and couldn't do anything by herself, but I'M the one creating the lack of freedom -.- really the only thing you're not free to do is fuck everybody

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    • Mhm... at least you understand where I'm coming from... imagine if that specific controlling ex told you he felt free after breaking it off. Would that not frustrate you? It's silly

    • If I was really controlling and picked up on everything he did.. m sure he will feel free... But understand... Relationships should be supporting , understanding without holding them from anything.. unless it would hamper the relation...

  • Because I was so young when I got into a serious relationship now I'm single I don't know how to date, the world of dating has changed a lot over the last decade.

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    • I have a few friends like that- dated a girl from the end of high school or beginning of college and they are completely lost now...

    • I dated a guy for almost 4 years all throughout college (which I could have soooo met different people but nope) senior year I found out he cheated so I’ve been single for a year and I don’t think I’ll be changing that anytime soon unfortunately

  • I guess lack of courage and subconciously low self-esteem. Also trust issues as all the men role models in my life have been total pricks.

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    • Try working on your self confidence more and loving yourself you can’t have a healthy relationship without treating yourself right. You’ll find someone ☺️

  • Because I haven't found the right guy yet! I'm not attracted to that many guys to be honest so it's kind of hard finding someone. I'm never really attracted to guys my age so the guys in my day to day life at university don't interest me that way. It's a hard life x)

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  • Stopped dating. Been rejected when I approached guys and no ones approached me before. I'm happy and comfortable being single so it's somewhat choice and somewhat because of rejection.

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  • Because I don't play games, don't even think of inviting me to candy crush either.

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  • Because I can't have a stable relationship without breaking down at least once

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  • b/c i haven't truly connected with someone yet. & im inexperienced

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  • Because I broke up wth my ex six month ago and I don't want or feel the need to be in a new relationship right now.

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  • Men aren't attracted to me; I guess they all have their own and varied reasons.

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  • I guess Im single because Im busy being a single mom and meeting the right guy is difficult nowadays.

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    • Well, as a single mom it will be. Many guys think that is a deal breaker.

    • Unfortunately being a single mom it’s going to be a lot harder for you! But not impossible of course

  • Because no one I might like likes me back, or they don't say.

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  • I’m not that proactive about letting people know i’m into them, and I broke up with someone who sucked.

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  • Everyone says my standarts are too high.. I think I could fall in love with everyone the only thing that‘s important to me is a good and respectful character and a put together look

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  • Because the long distant cousin I like doesn't know about my feelings. My aunties refused to tell him. He just had an accident and He lost a lot of blood from his head a week ago. He got stitches and 3 white sheets got covered with blood. He fell down from a ladder. He is okay now. I cried my eyes out on that day and prayed the entire day. I ran to a place of worship without telling my parents cried as soon as I stepped inside. My aunties think I am too young and I am 19. They say I should keep my feelings a secret for 4 years and my mom is against love marriage and the idea of falling in love. She shouted at me for one week. I am in pakistan right now I have another 2 weeks to let him know my feelings.

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  • I'm 19 years old and I have never had sex or a serious relationship before. I had my first kiss though. Anyways, I'm either very ugly or I think it's because I seem not approachable and somehow I feel like people think I'm mean or not interested.

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  • The guy left for college and I haven't found anyone yet.

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  • Yes I am single. After my experiences i may stay that way.

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  • Because relationships are not for me. I have tons of other things I would much rather do (lear guitar, uke, piano, among many other hobbies). If I were in a relationship, I wouldn't have time to do all the things I enjoy most and that make me the happiest so I would end up miserable in another relationship. I also need a lot of alone time (I'm an introvert) so that also wouldn't work in a relationship. Ultimately, relationships don't make me happy, they make me miserable. So I prefer to be single

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  • Because I'm only 16 and I don't think it will be a very serious relationship.
    I won't waste my time on it.

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    • Wow, one of the most mature answers I've read... Tho there are exceptions, you are 90% right don't waste your time

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    • I'm just enjoying life at the moment.
      There's enough time for me to find a guy and start a relationship.

    • Well said

  • I just don't date. Never even had a boyfriend before.

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  • My last lover married my friend. So I'm now anti man mood. Later, another non Muslim, I'll try.

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  • My recent crush goes on spiritual journey or something

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  • single by choice until I meet him.

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