Feelings for Someone Else While in a Relationship?

Hey guys,

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and we moved to Germany (his birthplace) together recently. We are both working in his pizzeria together and a co-worker who is also a friend of mine started getting feelings for me. He is in a relationship too and told his girlfriend (I told my boyfriend that this guy confessed this to me). Everything is totally out in the open. I didn't think much of it because sometimes you can't control starting to fall for someone else. I thought it was mature of the guy to be so honest and thought we could move on and be friends after pulling back for a while. This guy and I never cheated or did ANYTHING behind our partners backs. He just said I was hard not to like and he felt we had really connected. My boyfriend got SUPER UPSET when I told him what this guy had said, and my boyfriend was gonna fire him etc. I thought that was super unethical etc. Long story short - boyfriend got really controlling and told me it was partially my fault for how friendly i am and how I dress etc. I thought the whole thing was totally over dramatic and my boyfriend was really overreacting. I hadn't led this guy on or did ANYTHING flirty etc. Now that my boyfriend was acting like this, I'm feeling more connected to the other guy and might be starting to have feelings for him. I feel SO GUILTY and we are still friends as I didn't feel right at all about writing this guy off as a friend just because he was honest with everyone. Now I don't know what to do. i love my boyfriend so MUCH and my whole life in Germany depends on this relationship working out. But I feel super disconnected from him rn because of how he has been acting/control issues etc.

I literally have no idea what to do.

Please help!!!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'd stop hanging out with other guy.

    • We don't ever hang out. We work together and just message here and there.

    • I'd stop messaging him. To keep him as a friend is too lead him on to something more. I'd also stop talking to him at work if you care about making your relationship work. What do you gain from leading him on that's so hard to walk away from!

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