Why do you all think I’ve had no luck with dating so far?

So, I’m beginning to believe that I have a huge personality flaw and I’m also ugly. All of my friends seemed to have boyfriends and gotten attention guys at a young age while I didn’t. And I blame that on being a chubbier teen. Even though I’m smaller now, still considered thick, men don’t look at me. And if they do, they’re not my type 99.9% of the time. I’ve only been in one short term relationship and I wasn’t in love. I’ve been online for a while and it hasn’t really gone anywhere. I get compliments from my photos and people in real life, however, this website seems to think differently of my appearance. I’ve accepted my loneliness as permanent and unchangable. Plus, I was bullied when I was younger. What is so wrong with me?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • "99.9% of the time they're not my type." So you are getting interest. Quite a bit from the sounds of it. I understand you can't force yourself to be attracted to these guys, but maybe entertain one anyways. Talk to them, just to get more confident talking to men. Go on a date to get some confidence, you're not obligated to anything after one date.

    I've never gotten any interest from women AT ALL, and if you were in my situation I would say give up, but it sounds like you definitely aren't hopeless.

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  • I doubt you're ugly, and lots of guys (I would say most) love thick girls.

    Since I am not a fly on the wall where you are, I have no idea what's actually going on, but I would suggest taking a look at your hair and what you wear, being sure to smile at guys and appear friendly, and not be afraid of approaching guys you like and starting a convo.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • what's wrong with you is your confidence... and possibly your standards. you totally bashed you above. i do believe there is someone for everyone. i will say if you aren't super hot, there is nothing wrong with that, but in knowing this, do not date someone else for their looks. be open to dating beyond looks. chemistry can be earned through personality. this doesn't mean you won't end up with someone good looking... but know your strengths and play off of them, and don't hold anyone to standards you would hope they would not apply to you. so if you are funny go for the funny guy. he might be hottie, but he might not. just focus of the funny...

    when you focus on your strengths hopefully your confidence will improve too! looks are NOT everything!!! when you focus on your power and awesome assets, you will actually appear more attractive to men regardless of your hair, weight, dress size. i kid you not! loving yourself is attractive!!!

    so do you and good luck!

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    • I don’t think it has much to do with confidence. I believe I tend to give the appearance that I am pretty sure of myself. I’ve seen women with low self esteem and eating disorders/other trauma that have a man in their life. I feel as if I am cursed. Plain and simple.

    • the men with these women are losers and not who you want in YOUR life. a man who knwos a woman is pyschologically battling illness and still engages with her and does not do everything in his power to help her over xome illness is a loser. not opinion. FACT.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • 99.9% of the time they aren't your type is your problem. How picky are you? if you are not flawless from hair to toenails then at best 10 to 20% of guys should not be your type. you are way to picky for being "average" or whatever you see yourself as I wasn't sure. Also stop looking. and while you at it stop caring about looks so much. personality is how you find a romantic partner.

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  • Stop focusing on finding a good man for a while if its only depressing you. Have fun with life. Men are much more attracted to happy gals :)

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    • Is it supposed to be this hard to find a partner?

    • One that suits you sure, if your self image is poor though its only going to be harder. That goes for anyone and everyone single & looking.

  • Mostof us are our own worst critics. Start going to a gym and getting some exercise in. You will boost your self confidence, plus you might actually have fun. Learn to love yourself before trying to find love from others.

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  • You need someone to speak to from the opposite sex that is not only a friend, but also a role model. A father figure that just so happens to be a bigger/little brother.

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  • Nothings wrong with you you're an individual dont let others put you do i mean I've never had a girlfriend but its because im ugly i look like a pizza so take it from me you're not ugly and u never will be if u think to yourself that u r your just going to let other people get to u and bully you dont let them do the believe in yourself

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  • Been single over 6 years now it only bothered me for the first two, you just learn not to care that no one is interested in you.

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  • Your mentality of yourself could be wrong but I feel as if you getting bullied is affecting your ability to have pma about yourself.

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    • PMA?

    • Show All
    • I feel as if I’ve encountered people that seemed negative or unapproachable and they still had attention heading their way. So, maybe something about me isn’t desirable to the opposite sex.

    • Seemed. You don't know that, do you?
      Your frame of mind does more for or against you, WAY more than you know. Give yourself more credit, hey? Wish you the best.

  • your personality seems fine from reading your words. but i would be happy to give you an honest answer if i saw a photo of you

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  • It’s not that there is something wrong with you, but shallow people have taken a toll over you. Yes, genetics is ONE way of looking at it but there are things you can improve on your own. I might sound like a cunt right now, and I’m sorry, but this is what I did. Exercise a bit more often to feel mentally good about yourself because results will show. Start by watching or exposing yourself to more comedy shows or something like that. It helped me with my humor and while it makes people laugh, it puts them at ease. As you grow more as a person, confidence will bloom. It won’t matter if you’re ugly, that confidence and being comfortable in your own skin will help

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    • Another way you can improve yourself is not caring. Giving zero fucks makes life a little bit less stressful because you won’t worry about what people think about you. It gives you an edge and makes you stand out, eventually attracting moths to a flame.

  • You just said 99.99% not your type. Maybe you have unrealistic standards especially if your not attractive

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What Girls Said 3

  • It generally not a problem with you. It's a problem with the guys you're trying to date.

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  • I feel for you, young friend. I long to have a boy/girl/enbyfriend to love me and be special to them, but as the decades fly by I realize many people see some of us as just not good enough.

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    • Oh my goodness and you’re 51. I thought there was hope but this is discouraging 😭

    • I was married from 1999-2013 but I could no longer take all the abuse.

    • Before we were married it was like sex five times a day but marriage put a stop to that. I guess I was "owned" after that.

  • Nothing is wrong with u You are perfect the way u r that is how God created u its the people around u that are wrong u need better friends and need to be around people who make u feel good

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