I always believed you needed women to be attracted to you for other women to be attracted to you to demonstrate preselection and social proof; similar to the saying "you need money to get money". To use an analogy, I'm starting to think a guy trying to get a girlfriend without any dating experience is like a cancer patient trying to get health insurance.
Girls, how much of a deal is dating experience to you? Can it be a deal breaker?
Guys, I'd also like to know what you think. I'd also like to know if anyone has ever been in the same situation as me.
I know it's a pretty radical thought, but it's just something I've been thinking off for a while. Thanks!
Most Helpful Girls
Not a deal breaker At. All!
If a girl thinks it is, she is only thinking of sex or something and isn't really being serious about the prospect of knowing you for who you are as a living breathing intelligible, emotional, physical human being. So da hell with her!
in my opinion, it can only ever be seen as a good thing, a huge compliment to any girl you do indeed feel the desire to get to know and have feelings towards. To me, (and given your reasons for not being in a previous relationship) I would almost favour it because it shows you value a partner for all the right reasons, and that you aren't a playboy or just looking for the physical.
The whole aspect of "preselection and social proof" isn't really true in terms of finding a true partner. Maybe people that still value popularity after leaving highschool, but in the real world there are so many different personalities and shy/quiet people don't always shine brightly inna sea of noise. So they aren't always noticed, and hence ladies don't all go crazy over them unless they are attracted to their physical appearance that's blatantly flagging them from the crowd.
You want a girl that will like you for you, so no matter what, she shouldn't care what others think anyhow and should really be intrigued with who you are and not how others see you. On the contrary, as a shy girl (but not quiet lol) I tend to not approach guys that are popular amongst the ladies... I feel like when girls constantly talk a guy up, my mind automatically thinks he gets all the girls and is a potential play boy (Its a bias I have that I try not to let rule over my decisions but it is in the end how I initially percieve the situation).
by the way I'm 25 and have never been in a real relationship either (just an online one)
Sooo I think it's safe to say that I know what you mean, it was hard for me to find anyone I was interested in and could trust, and even when I did enter a relationship it wasn't even a good match and I was hesitant to even begin it (but I did for the sake of experience)
So don't let age or experience affect your confidence. It's nothing to be ashamed of or even worried about, it is what it is and life gives us all different experiences and opportunities. Otherwise, life would be boring lol.
Don't let the status quo of society's view on dating rule your life, tread on with your comfort level and enjoy experiences that will improve you as a person until you meet that special person you will want to enter a relationship with.
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It depends on how mature you are. Many girls just don’t want to be bothered of taking responsibility of ‘teaching’ you things. Like you’d probably need some guidance in some things (not even talking about anything intimate but just the way you should take care of a girl etc) and a lot of girls want to be guided themselves.
But that doesn’t mean girls are attracted to more ‘experienced’ men. If a girl likes you a lot, she doesn’t care about anything above
Most Helpful Guys
In this point in life, anything is possible. What you have to rmemeber is to be genuine, unique and special to the girl in your own way. When I had my first date at 23, you’d be surprised at how these girls never had the door or chair pulled for them. I tried to Mimmick the cool guys on tv, and it worked. Be confident, don’t care if you don’t have experience or sex. Girls go for people that interest them on a whole new level, not just having 999 girlfriends, because the more break ups you had kind of says that you suck at relationships for not keeping them. I might be wrong, but this is what I think. Just be smooth, funny in your own way and let the girl see the real you, not a facade or a mask.
It's not too late. But you have to up your game, and your attractiveness. You need three things:
Confidence. Irrational confidence.
So work your hardest at 1 and 2, and 3 will come through the effort. Hit the gym, hard, muscle up, and make a ton of dough. You'll be fighting them off.
Women are looking for a guy that's actually going someplace and being someone. So just be awesome and one will happen along that wants to hitch their life to yours. Don't be in a hurry, choose wisely.
And always remember, YOU ARE THE PRIZE! So act like it. Women will come and go, but a REAL MAN is a prize to behold.
So get busy... you have a lot of work to do.