Are these details that I mention a sign my boyfriend is lazy/unmotivated?

I am currently dating this beautiful person who has the biggest heart I've ever seen I can honestly say that I genuinely love him and want to make him happy. What's mine is his and he knows that. In every aspect of our relationship he is great I don't have any complaints. He'd do whatever I ask him.

The thing I'm concerned with though is that well, my boyfriend isn't a very motivated person. He gives up fairly easily after failure and well I'm not sure if I like that about him. He's also lazy when it comes to self care/hygiene. He fixed that once I brought it to his attention. However after a while he gets careless about it again. He expresses his interest in certain things however I never see him actively looking into said subjects. For instance he stated he wants to be a nutritionist but I've never seen him read a book, post on social media or watch videos about nutrition. All he does is watch random videos on World Star or YouTube. I'm starting to worry that he may not change these habits.

Are these bad signs? I should mention that he's been sheltered for most of his life and has only been on his own for a little over a year.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds as though you may have a "people pleaser" who puts everyone else ahead of themselves. The book "Take Your Like Back", by Arterburn and Stoop might help him, IF he finds the motivation to read it.

    • I think you may be right to some extent. I just wish he saw what I see in him. He really is a good person I just feel he should put more focus on himself more often. He has the ability to be consistent when it comes to others but when it comes to himself not so much. I'll definitely suggest the book to him. Thanks!

    • Taken on the face of it, some might just write off this guy. You see something else in him- the good heart part- and that gives you enough curiosity that you seem to want to find out the "why" of his lack of motivation. (Maybe his parents shot him down every time he tried something so he just gave up, etc. - who knows, but you are trying to find out! :- ) Another resource would be the book "Five Love Languages" by Chapman. Spoiler: they are- in no particular order- gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. My wife is "words" and I am "acts" which leads to some interesting situations, but at least we know WHY now, and we've been married well over 35 years.

  • It won’t change so you have a decision

    • I really hope that's not the case. However if it comes to that I know what I'd have to do. The right decision isn't always the easiest.

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