So do modern day women still expect the man to pay for dinner or do they want to split it?

Women like thinking of themselves as being independent now and probably since the 1990s.
Does that change anything when it comes to the dating game. (which is played by fools)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's sweet if he pays but im fine with splitting if previously discussed. I mean he asked me out.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • oh, they expect it... trust that 100%
    some might say they don't... but internally they will always feel a little screwed if they had to pay --> just for the fact they know other girls get it free, just by that... they will feel screwed by default even if they don't mind

    they will only NOT mind, if its their choice completely... then they feel empowered

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • It'd be hell cool sure, free dinner, but not like I'd be disappointed if he didn't. I understand its fair.

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  • it depends like if i have a job then hell yeah ima split 50/50 ..
    or if he pays for dinner i got him next time.. I don't know thats just me tho

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    • Maybe if he pays, you can make breakfast in the morning

  • I pay half

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  • I expect him to pay

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What Guys Said 5

  • I've always felt uncomfortable when she has paid and would prefer to pay, even if she has invited me out.

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  • In my opinion, it is best that the man pays for it since he would have most likely have asked her out on a date. However, if she decides to split it or pay for it, let her.

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  • I'm old-fashioned about this and prefer to err on the side of paying when it's early in the dating process. And the early stage of courtship is not "equal" in my case. I ask the girl out, I figure out where we go, I make the arrangements, and I pay. She's my guest.

    I lead, as in the analogical dance. I initiate the first step, set the tone and pace, but always looking out for her and making sure she's happy, that sort of thing. Leading to me is a responsibility rather than a privilege.

    And I had a cheapskate boss one time. He insisted to me that we go to his favorite Thai restaurant when I wanted to just eat some fast food at work and not be so distracted. So I went with him and he didn't pay for the bill. And he seemed like a cheapskate in that moment since the Thai restaurant was his idea and he was the boss. Given that I see myself as "da boss" on the date, I don't want to be like that one.

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    • But the exchange penalty in my case for paying the bill and arranging everything and taking all the initiative is that I'm "da boss". I'm paying because I am the powerful and almighty one in this context in my mind, and in my actions. The girl is my follower and guest (although she is free to leave at any time). But if she stays, she is "submitting" to my leadership. And in exchange I will treat her very well and look out for my follower.

      I probably just pissed off all sorts of people writing that. But that's my rationale for paying.

    • It only makes sense to me to pay if I'm "da boss". If I am "da boss", then it does seem like I'm a cheapskate if I don't pay. It does seem like I'm an idiot if I don't have an idea of where to go on the date. It does seem like I ought to be the one with the initiative asking the girl out. All of that makes sense if I'm "da boss".

      If we're supposed to be "equal", like "friends", then none of that makes sense. I should be able to say like, "Uhh, so where do you want to go?" We should be able to split the bill. It shouldn't matter which one of us asks the other out.

    • The final angle to me is that if I ask a girl out, generally that implies that I like her a bit more than she likes me. We usually don't start out liking each other exactly to the same degree. I might be like, "She's pretty hot, I wanna see her naked", and she might be like, "I'm not sure about this guy's intentions, but maybe it'll be fun." So if the interest is lopsided like that, then I need to impress her. I gotta charm her to convince her to like me as much as I like her. So I have bigger burden of responsibility there, naturally, if I'm the one asking her out. If she asks me out then maybe I'd expect her to pay for everything and impress the hell out of me.

  • Some do some don't. It's actually a good test when you first date a woman and are trying to decide whether to date her in the future.

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  • It's changing. I had a woman buy me dinner for the first time in my life this year.

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