Guys, is it a bad sign if your date talks about his ex?

We liked each other before they got together. When he wanted to make a move on me, I was dating someone else. He got with another girl sometime after and they were together for 1 year and a half. They were long-distance, but we would often meet because we went to the same college and had the same friends. I never asked about or hinted at his ex. He initiated the talk only once a couple of weeks ago saying he is over her. Now, he has been back home for two weeks. He asked me what news I have about my life and I said I have some news (mostly related to work and family) and asked about him (I was asking in general) and he replied 'yes but it's mainly related to the past' (i guess he is hinting at his ex). Is it a good or a bad thing he told me that? I have never asked about any of this, it was him addressing the subject only twice (with today) and unsolicited. He knows that I think his past does not concern me as long as it has no impact on us and he said it has not.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's good that he is opening up to you. He's started to trust you and I suggest you start comforting him and help him ACTUALLY get over his ex (he's clearly not). For an odd example:- think that the boy is on his period and you are there to comfort him and handle his mood swings

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    • Well, I speak openly about one particular ex because I am over him, and less about my last one. We did not start dating right after they broke up and in the meanwhile, he went out for like a month with another girl while I sorted out my own head giving it another go with my ex. I cannot blame him when I am the one who broke up even more recently. However, I do not have second thoughts about my breakup. He does not seem either.

    • I think you should just confront him about not just this but any of the issues in the future as well. Just tell him if something bothers you and tell him to do the same. That is how it will work out. Also you don't need serious conversation, just ask him casually in chat or when you hang out. This will show you are not insecure and just wanna know him better

    • I do not feel threatened by her or the fact they talked. I told him before he left that it was ok if that happened. I just wonder why he spoke about it. Does it mean he trusts me or that he did not want someone else to tell me or that he still has feelings for her (although he clearly said without me asking he is over her). If he does that's ok, it just helps me understand how I should behave.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I think he mentioned her only because you knew about her, but I would not have mentioned her if I were him unless asked directly.

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    • Why did he mention her to say he is over her? and why did he mention only that when I asked back about what's new in his life? He could have said he had nothing new to tell or he could have addressed other topics.

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    • *agree with the statement 'my date's past does not concern me as long as it does not impact me directly or the relashionship'

    • OK, well, just make sure that everything is disclosed and that each of you is Ready to move Forward.

  • It’s good if he mentions the bad things about them. I dated a girl who spoke badly about her ex and it was refreshing as she was opening up but it put me on the spotlight to be a better human

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  • Well that is ur damn problem don't u think get over it

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  • yes... it's a huge red flag

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