His grandfather died, he’s been radio silent (understandable) and I’m giving him space to grieve,.. how long can I expect this to last?

Met a guy, starting to get to know each other but has heated up pretty quickly. I’ve messaged him a few times since his grandfathers passing, “I’m here, no pressure” kind of things. Just wondering how much time is “normal” for someone to need after losing a loved one. Any personal experience would be appreciated. Will he come back once he’s grieved?

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What Guys Said 1

  • Did you actually message him those exact words? ''I'm here, no pressure''?

    How long he grieves depends on how close he was with the grandfather, and the history.

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    • No, not exactly those words. I kept saying things like “il here for whenever you’re ready” “let me know what i can do” “if you need space i understand” “take you’re time” “no pressure”. Stuff like that. Messaged him a few time soon over the last few days. They were very close and he hasn't messaged me since the day after he passed saying he was sorry for not letting me know what was going on, kept apologizing. Haven’t heard from him since the weekend. Thoughts?

    • The ''take your'e time'' is patronising because he's the only one that can decide that. The ''no pressure'' really means the opposite because you are waiting for him to come back.

      The ''if you need space I understand'' is also something from the unconscious mind. This is why I do not say ''sorry for your loss'' when someone dies.

      He may not have seen that from the messages, but that mostly comes from not knowing how another feels. The only suitable message would have been ''I'm here for you'' but you need to decide on your own boundaries, and for truthfully how long since most are looking to replace others.

What Girls Said 1

  • Grieving changes us. We never come back from loss, the same way we went in.

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