if the relationship starts open, then yeah I guess its ok.. but if you are all ready in a committed relationship, I suspect jealousy and hurt feelings will come.
Not neccessarily. But they'd need to communicate every step of the way and yes, there *is* a risk involved. But the thing about jealousy is that it is usually caused by people who do not feel confident enough in their relationship. They feel that the relationship is somehow threathened by their partner loving someone else. And if that kind of feelings starts it is a good idea to slow down the process and focus on fixing those feelings first before continuing because if they remain they *will* cause hurt feelings like you described...
@Losalt I will concur., Just easier if the relationship starts out open, in my opinion.. You dont have to shed the coat of monogamy, its comfortable once your in it. :)
Plumizz... No, that's the exact kind of people it is *not* suitable for... Open relationships and polyamorous relationships require a *lot* of communication and people with a solid relationship as fundation who don't get threathened by their partner having relationships with or loving another person.
If that what they both agree on it could be really really good for their relationship. No one person will feel trapped in a relationship but still be in one
Have you ever been in love with two people at once? Do you have children, and if so, do you have more then one? If you have more then one child, does your love for one of your children reduce your love for the other one?
Actually I have been in love with two people at the same time, but I only had sex with one, not both. Secondly, I do not have children, so I can't respond to your second question
*nods* Well, if someone was *both* in love with you *and* someone else, wouldn't you want them to be happy rather then having to live with the grief of being without one of you? If a girl I'm with fell in love with someone else I'd want her to be happy myself. As for the sex. Both men and women have a drive towards having sex with more then one person. And as long as both are ok with that I don't really see the problem with it.
A relationship isn't really about who you have sex with to me. It's about actually liking a person and wanting to spend time with them long term. About spending time with someone I can't imagining a world without. Me or her having *sex* with someone else is kind of beside the point.
DarkDave Both open relationships *and* polyamorous relationships *do* exist... And so, you develop feelings? Why is that a bad thing? You're assuming that the relationship terms of a open relationship *has* to include a term about love of someone else somehow being cheating. For open relationships to work you need the people thinking about trying it out to have a solid relationship and neither to feel that the relationship is somehow threathened if the other starts getting feelings for someone else. Neither having sex with nor loving someone else should be something that feels threathening to you.
That's not a open relationship, that's a polyamorous relationship. It is closed in the sense that it involves polyfidelity. But yes, that is probably a better starting point then a outright open relationship as it's easier for everyone to feel comfortable with everyone else involved that way.
Kind of. It's a bit more complicated then that. You don't just need to be able to handle him/her *being* with someone else. You need to have enough faith in the relationship to be able to handle him/her *loving* someone else and still don't feel that your own relationship is somehow threathened by that. If you don't have that much faith in the relationship then you both need to work on your own relationship before starting to include others. If you've *already* started to include someone else then do the work *with* them and try to get more comfortable with eachother in general and ask the others involved to slow things down a bit till the original relationship is back on track.
And that is bad *why* exactly? So, she or he loves more then one person, what's so bad about that? Loving two people doesn't neccessarily mean that you love the first one less.
@Losalt ** what do I seek, I seek a female to grow old with having all the salt and pepper of life if we are blessed we get children when it is time to go we still love each other, joy and happiness are a long-term exercise which called life.
Hi, its good for us as well, but I do wonder if my husband was like me whether it would work, you see in swapping all is involved at the same time, but in threesomes which we like the most, I got jealous at the point of penetration by my husband with the other woman, however my husband loves it when the other man is well giving me all he has, my husband don't seem to have a jealous bone in his body
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if the relationship starts open, then yeah I guess its ok.. but if you are all ready in a committed relationship, I suspect jealousy and hurt feelings will come.
Not neccessarily.
But they'd need to communicate every step of the way and yes, there *is* a risk involved.
But the thing about jealousy is that it is usually caused by people who do not feel confident enough in their relationship.
They feel that the relationship is somehow threathened by their partner loving someone else.
And if that kind of feelings starts it is a good idea to slow down the process and focus on fixing those feelings first before continuing because if they remain they *will* cause hurt feelings like you described...
@Losalt I will concur., Just easier if the relationship starts out open, in my opinion.. You dont have to shed the coat of monogamy, its comfortable once your in it. :)
Bad idea. Open relationships are for people who are immature and don't understand what a relationship really mean
Plumizz...
No, that's the exact kind of people it is *not* suitable for...
Open relationships and polyamorous relationships require a *lot* of communication and people with a solid relationship as fundation who don't get threathened by their partner having relationships with or loving another person.
If that what they both agree on it could be really really good for their relationship. No one person will feel trapped in a relationship but still be in one
Yep, that happens sometimes... :-/
Both need to feel comfortable with it, otherwise it don't really work...
Good: if you two just want a casual relationship for the time being, but you don't see each other as someone you could live forever with.
Bad: if just one of you look at the other as someone you'd want to marry/live forever with.
Depends on the people. Great for some. Not so much for others.
Why be in a relationship if you see other people? I dont understand this concept
Have you ever been in love with two people at once?
Do you have children, and if so, do you have more then one?
If you have more then one child, does your love for one of your children reduce your love for the other one?
Actually I have been in love with two people at the same time, but I only had sex with one, not both. Secondly, I do not have children, so I can't respond to your second question
*nods*
Well, if someone was *both* in love with you *and* someone else, wouldn't you want them to be happy rather then having to live with the grief of being without one of you?
If a girl I'm with fell in love with someone else I'd want her to be happy myself.
As for the sex.
Both men and women have a drive towards having sex with more then one person.
And as long as both are ok with that I don't really see the problem with it.
A relationship isn't really about who you have sex with to me.
It's about actually liking a person and wanting to spend time with them long term.
About spending time with someone I can't imagining a world without.
Me or her having *sex* with someone else is kind of beside the point.
No and I don't see why anyone would, it's just cheating with permission.
Its always a bad idea. Always. Open relationships dont exist, at one point one of the pair is gonna develop feelings the other can't return.
DarkDave
Both open relationships *and* polyamorous relationships *do* exist...
And so, you develop feelings?
Why is that a bad thing?
You're assuming that the relationship terms of a open relationship *has* to include a term about love of someone else somehow being cheating.
For open relationships to work you need the people thinking about trying it out to have a solid relationship and neither to feel that the relationship is somehow threathened if the other starts getting feelings for someone else.
Neither having sex with nor loving someone else should be something that feels threathening to you.
I could see myself in an open relationship, if and only if it was like... with another couple or something.
That's not a open relationship, that's a polyamorous relationship.
It is closed in the sense that it involves polyfidelity.
But yes, that is probably a better starting point then a outright open relationship as it's easier for everyone to feel comfortable with everyone else involved that way.
It's not for everyone. But it works for my wife and I. Brought our sex life to an all new high. We have been open for about 8 years now.
It depends on your personality and feelings.
If you both can take knowing that one of you is with another right now then it's fine.
Kind of.
It's a bit more complicated then that.
You don't just need to be able to handle him/her *being* with someone else.
You need to have enough faith in the relationship to be able to handle him/her *loving* someone else and still don't feel that your own relationship is somehow threathened by that.
If you don't have that much faith in the relationship then you both need to work on your own relationship before starting to include others.
If you've *already* started to include someone else then do the work *with* them and try to get more comfortable with eachother in general and ask the others involved to slow things down a bit till the original relationship is back on track.
It’s bad because what is going to happen if you fall for someone else?
And that is bad *why* exactly?
So, she or he loves more then one person, what's so bad about that?
Loving two people doesn't neccessarily mean that you love the first one less.
I'm polyamorous so it works for me... I don't know about others tho
calling an open relationship a relationship is hypocrisy
amrraziq6
Really?
So, what are your definition of a relationship then since a open one apparently does not qualify?
@Losalt ** what do I seek, I seek a female to grow old with having all the salt and pepper of life if we are blessed we get children when it is time to go we still love each other, joy and happiness are a long-term exercise which called life.
What the deference between that and friends with benefits? no it's no good.
I mean difference.
It’s good for us.
It all depends how you feel about it.
Hi, its good for us as well, but I do wonder if my husband was like me whether it would work, you see in swapping all is involved at the same time, but in threesomes which we like the most, I got jealous at the point of penetration by my husband with the other woman, however my husband loves it when the other man is well giving me all he has,
my husband don't seem to have a jealous bone in his body
Could be both, because it should be make clear and be fair for both partner
i am currently having a good experience with it, very good actually
It can be a very good thing for some people. Bur if you have any kind of trust or intimacy issues id say its a death sentence to the relationship
Yes, trust and faith in eachother is incredibly important for such a relationship to work.
I dont think its a good idea. The more people that get involved in your relationship the more that can go wrong.