How do I reject girls without them hating me?

I decided to finally try dating and some girls continue writing me, even if I don't express interest. I don't want to be rude, because I know how hurtful it can be, but I also don't want to just ignore them.

What is the correct way of telling them that you are not interested, but also not making them hate you? I want to maintain good relationships.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Let them down easy, let them know I'm not trying to hurt you but I'm looking for something different. Or I don't want to hurt you but I don't feel we are connecting like I'd hope, say sorry and move on. If they are offended it's on them at that point.

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  • I think the best is just be upfront and say 'I don't like you.' 'Cause if you ignore, we'll not be fans and if you beat about the bush, we'll be mad that you took all that time to say a pretty simple message.

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    • ''I don't like you' does seem a bit rude in my opinon. I do reply, but not in a way that I would express interest, like ''Oh, that's cool, hope you had fun!'' etc.

      You prefer when a guy just says 'I don't like you' upfront?

    • Yh. It's to the point and it saves my brain and heart a lot of trouble. If I really like the guy, I might cry a bit but I prefer upfront to a whole speech about how I'm nice and sweet and he'd love to but he can't. Not that he wouldn't it's just that now, he doesn't have any feelings and he can imagine dating me would be nice but not now. Maybe later, hopefully later.
      Imagine getting this entire thing from a girl, wouldn't you be a bit pissed off.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Okay, so here is how this starts. "It's not you, it's me..."

    I'm kidding. Seriously, you just need to honest with them. If it's not working between me and a girl I just tell her that I'm not feeling the emotional connection I need for a romantic relationship. I care about her, she's a great person, but I just don't have that romantic connection.

    When I explain it that way they usually agree, which is surprising. They were thinking of telling me the same thing, but didn't know how. Once in a while there will be tears, so just be gentle in those cases. If you do this right, you will remain friends.

    Best of luck.

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  • First you have to realize what rejection to a woman means. To a man its simply "I don't find you attractive enough to help you propagate your DNA, y'know simple mortality in her UGH no!'

    But for a woman, its all she has to offer IS her reproductive ability. You rejecting her means she's pretty my worthless. And that scares the shit out of women hence, they never approach men. Sitting there waiting for a man to approach her hurts way less than getting shot down. Even into their 40's when they start penning articles about how shitty the selection of men are nowadays.

    If you're an asshole like me you shoot them down as they would shoot you down. The most soul crushing way possible as if to say "how dare you proposition ME?" Or you can just tell them you're gay.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 15

  • Just by saying you’re not interested. There’s no super polite way to do it in my books without being over-apologetic, which I personally find insulting either way.

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  • be firm but direct. also be kind. if you are not direct it is leading someone on. so state, plainly, "you seem nice, but i feel like we do not have enough in common to date one another. i hope we can be friendly in the future."

    if they hate you for that it is that they have pyscho social issues and you can't help them with that! but this is the best way to let a woman down in my opinion.

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  • Ther is no polite way of telling someone you aren’t interested in them. Adding a cushion compliment doesn’t soften the blow either. Just says while I appreciate your interest I am uninterested in taking things further with you. Thanks for your time all the best!

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  • There's nothing call maintaining a good relationship after rejection. Especially when it comes to girls that had feelings for you, crush, or thought of you in any way else than friendship. As much as you'd think you're being nice it'll always reflect badly. So just be yourself, don't be rude and stay honest.

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  • I think if you know early on that you only like them as a friend, then make small comments about it. Be like “you’re a great friend” something along those lines that way they know where they stand. And know they are in the friend zone.

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  • Compliment their good things like “you have a great personality and you are kind etc..” then say something along the lines of “but I don’t think I’m looking for someone like you at this moment, im sorry” and just be very apologetic and kind

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  • Depends on the man, but I think after several weeks and several dates. You gotta be able to completely trust the guy if you're going with him to his house.

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    • And I posted the wrong answer to the wrong question! 😂😂😂

    • is this a response to the qn regarding first dates at someones house?

    • 😂😂 Yes. I thought I had clicked on that question and didn't realize my mistake until I had submitted my answer.
      I copy and pasted the answer and posted it to the right question, but I couldn't delete it on this post. 😃😃

  • Just be honest and write kindly. Don't drag it on and give her hope. That's the worst.

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  • Just say that you don't want to talk anymore. Keep it simple and strict. Don't beat around the bush just say it

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  • I would just say kindly, hi Heather you're a great girl but I'm seeing someone.

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  • Clarity is the key. Do it in a polite way. If you do not tell them clearly what you think you are actually hurting them

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  • WHATS THE POINT IN THAT

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  • Either don't respond or say I'm not interested.

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  • Keep it straight and to the point and be sympathetic and apologetic.

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  • Did you ever initially show interest or do something to make them think otherwise because that may be the reason they keep on writing you?

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What Guys Said 18

  • Is this online or IRL?

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    • I met them IRL, but they write to me through the internet.

    • Tell them they are Wonderful Girls, but that you just want to be Friends.

  • It doesn't matter how you do it, they will hate you. I tested it out myself, i wrote a very kind 'we aren't clicking with each other' and then i somehow bumped into this girl again and her only intention was to get her own back. It's better to ghost them, just dont say anything at all as it will later harm your defense, (i hope it doesn't go to court).

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  • Any variation of "I'm sorry but you are not my type but if you wish to stay in contact. I would like to get to know you" - Many will walk away just saying that they are here for dating not socialising but some may stay, I don't think any would be offended.

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  • You can't. Women face rejection do rarely that they are unable to accept it gracefully. Either damn yourself to a life and livelihood with a woman who doesn't care what you need and want, or damn yourself to a life in which women hate you, attack you, and may even try to kill you or have you imprisoned because you rejected them. It's kind of a lose-lose situation. GOOD LUCK!

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  • You have 3 choices.
    1st option is tell them that you like them as friends.
    2nd option keep them hanging on the line as side chicks. I don't recommend this
    3rd option is to introduce them to some of your single friends.
    There are more options, but giving todays rules of dating, you never know. You can also introduce your girlfriend and she will take care of it for you.

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  • why would you care? i mean if they hate you, they won't stalk you or still feel lead on so that's a plus. i'd risk them hating me to be honest. it's not my problem if they do.

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  • This is what you say, "I'm sorry, i dont think i could love you the way you deserve to be loved".

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  • You don't. Women in general handle rejection poorly. Welp, that's life. Drop kick them to curb and get on with it.

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  • Be honest, don't insult and respect her. There's always hate no matter how nice you try to reject them. It's their problem if they can't get over it.

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  • Is not you. Is me. Its joke. The best way is just be totally honest to her about. You can't avoid hurt people feelings in this kind of stuff sorry

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  • Nah bro, reject them like women reject men. Ignore them or call them a creep

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  • Women shouldn't expect any commitment from you in the first place. An appropriate way of telling them that you're not interested is to tell them that you like them (compliment) because they're a human being with loving emotions that all men can appreciate, but you're not interested. If they hate you, oh well. You don't have to deal with them because you're not interested anyways. If any of them go crazy over a date just block their numbers, but the likelihood of a woman disliking you is slim to none.

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    • In other words, you want to maintain friendships with the women you date and you're not Interested in making any commitments. Just wait it out and see what happens. If they try to get you to commit to something before you agreed to any kind of commitment just be honest and back out if there's a problem.

    • You're a free, independent, single man. No woman has the right to expect anything.

  • Just say listen bitch... when you get those stds cleared up call me... until then fuck off

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  • Maybe say like I I'm not interested in you like that

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  • be polite, positive, respectful, and honest about it

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  • If she's mature, she won't.

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  • Just ghost them

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  • Don't be an asshole... simple.

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