Online dating connections: how soon do you want to move from the initial message to meeting face-to-face?

Don't want to spend too many years online?
Don't want to spend too many years online?
I have used online dating sites several times. Plenty of Fish is what I have used most often but I have also used match. com and a few church affiliated web sites. When I find someone who seems to be promising, I want to spend enough time to weed out the obvious lunatics but, otherwise, I ant to move forward with meeting face-to-face. I think you can spend weeks or months online or on the phone and never know as much as you will know after spending one hour in person.

How do you feel about the time frame? Do you want to spend months in messaging and phone calls, want to meet up that night, or something in between?
  • I don't use online dating sites
    Vote A
  • I have used online dating sites but never had a face-to-face meeting with another user
    Vote B
  • I like to take things slow. Maybe exchange emails for several weeks and then have several weeks of phone calls before scheduling a meeting
    Vote C
  • Not too fast, not too slow. Let's meet about a month from now!
    Vote D
  • I don't waste time. Let's meet within 1-2 weeks!
    Vote E
  • I am not doing online dating to develop pen pals. Meet me by the end of the week!
    Vote F
  • Hey, I'm available tonight! Let's get this going!
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I have personally never used online app or dating sites. But for my friends who do, they tell me they weed out who's serious and who's just catfishing/playing games by asking for a face to face date after a week or two of chatting through screen. Meeting someone face to face also eliminates the false representation you create for the person in your head.

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  • Meeting someone on a dating site is very difficult. I've been on plenty of fish, and other dating sites. . I've met a lot of men, some good, some bad. I've met a lot of men that are married and looking for a side chick on line too. I usually initiate a face to face dinner, or lunch date within the first week of meeting them. I do not waste my time messaging and texting for months, life is to short for that. I met my boyfriend on a dating site and we have been together for close to two years now, and I have no complaints. 😊✌

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't play games and I have no patience for mindless chit-chat. If I don't seem any closer to meeting them within a few messages I move on.

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  • If the vibes are right, as soon as possible. Why belabor things if either are undecided or afraid.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • 1-2 weeks is ideal for me, but i've waited months before and also met people the same day lol, it really depends on the situation who i'm talking to and if i'm busy.

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  • For the current guy I'm seeing, we had plans to meet a week after we started chatting online (which moved to texting), but because of unfortunate circumstances, we didn't end up meeting until about 3 weeks later. It was definitely worth the wait though.

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  • Personally I use online dating quite a bit because I mostly work with females. That being said I am caution with it. The first person I really got on with I intended to meet after about a month but with one thing and the next it turned into 4 months of messaging beforehand. Anyway we got on great over text, didn't click in person.
    So because of this, I reckon you need to meet in person within a couple weeks, otherwise the friend zone starts to set in a bit

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  • My boyfriend and I didn't meet on a dating site, but we did meet online. We will be meeting for the first time in October. We will spend our 11th month anniversary together.

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    • So you have not met this guy yet after 11 months? What was the delay?

    • Show All
    • So? you ever hear of an airplane? I'm gonna be flying to Calif from Oregon, over 1,000 miles, for only $79 one way as long as you make advance reservations. When you say met for the first time I assume you have Skyped or FaceTimed and talked on the phone at least.

    • Yes. And it's hard. He's a minor and I just turned 18 today. It's a bit difficult.

  • I will wait until I am a bit comfortable with the guy before meeting in person. I have no interest in a ONS or friends with benefits, so that typically will weed itself out once he realizes I am looking for something more substantial than a fuck boy. Also, if he is unable to communicate anything or is there doesn’t seem to be any chemistry in our communications, I’ll bail before meeting face-to-face.

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  • When I went on POF, I usually chat with the guys for at least 1 week before meeting them in person.

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What Guys Said 19

  • In my case, I used online dating sites to meet women in other countries, so it was obviously going to take longer- in my case it was months (2 and 5) for the two I met. For someone local, we'd have to message back and forth for a couple of weeks and I'd have to be interested and feel she is too.

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  • I quickly learned that texting, phoning, e-mailing someone you haven't met is a waste of time. You can invest hours before the first meeting, and then find out that the person completely lied about their appearance or there is just no attraction. Keep it simple. "Hey, I read your profile and... Would you like to meet?"

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  • I've yet to meet someone face to face except for a friend I reconnected with through tinder. I've never talked to anyone more than 2 days for that to even be a thing.

    Currently talking to someone I met from there, and we would've met the second week but we have busy schedules so it's been 2 months still no face to face. But, still trying lol. Ideally I would meet the 2nd week though.

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  • I usually go for a week.

    I think just texting has too much potential to bring forth huge misunderstandings, thats not worth it.
    And I dont consider myself or the other person to be such a creep, that walking away from a reallife date is impossible, so there is nothing to lose

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  • Almost never. A halfway intelligent person can detect the bullshit that most online daters expel. The internet dating scene is very different from when I started (very beginning of it all). Every woman I come across is obscenely selfish and self-centered. I can't imagine boys are much better by comparison.

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    • It's worth it for you to spend some time figuring out what's real for you and putting that into your profile. I pretty much stopped using dating apps & sites after I became completely frank about what I needed and wanted, and literally received no "looks," let alone "likes".

    • Wait a minute though women on online sites claim to just want the truth. lol

  • I'm not really into dating online. I feel that girl's are screening the guys to see what kind of career they have and how much money they're making you would be a high candidate on their list you being an attorney and all. I have a friend that did a test one time he made himself out to be a doctor and got tons of responses then he put down that he works as a security guard and nobody fooled with him. That right there disgusted me

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  • I've done months before, but usually if it doesn't happen within a single month I will tell them to forget it. (Regardless of how good looking or nice they appear) It isn't difficult for an Intelligent person to fake a personality and a picture.. and even if they aren't faking either, if they are that hesitant about meeting someone face to face or have that many extenuating circumstances, they may waste an extremely long time coming around only to disappoint when you meet in person by acting like a different person.

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  • Immediately. Interactions that aren't face-to-face aren't real interactions.

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  • Depends on individual and circumstances, personally i'm happy chatting via messages fpr a little while or jumping straight for a drink. Met someone back in June, due to childcare issues we jad to wait 2 weeks before meeting. Messaged everyday getting to know each other, by the time we met it felt really natural.
    Met some one couple of weeks back, i was away for the weekend so was maybe a week/10 days before we could meet up. didn't text to anything like the same level, we seem to have hit it off to some extent though.

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  • A relationship doesn't start until you actually meet, so as soon as possible. Anything else is just online pen pals.

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  • Most of yhe womeen I meet are spam bots. It sucks because Im just so adorable. What's up with that?

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  • I only use one dating site, but that's to make fun of furries

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  • I gave up online dating. Beforehand, I was ready to meet one week or less

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  • Usually within a week or two. Depending on schedules. I prefer to meet sooner than later.

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  • I message on Thursday and make plans for the weekend. Time is money.

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  • Hey, I'm available tonight! Let's get this going!

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  • when ever

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  • I always meet woman after a couple days of talking

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  • The best thing is within a couple weeks...

    Otherwise some girls just waste time and never wanna meet...

    And as a guy you have to speed things up and take it to the next level...

    The right answer is when you are ready, but that should be within the first couple weeks

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