I need help with this one..

There was this guy I was seeing... we were seeing each other on and off for a little over a year. We had some disagreements, and sometimes I'd go off on him. I was standing up for myself in the game of love I guess you could say. He kept giving me mixed signals. First one being that he told me straight out in the beginning of our "fling" that he didn't want a relationship. I said it's fine...we did our thing. We'd usually text each other late at night after getting in. We'd almost always stay by each others house unless it was a week night, then he'd usually go home. In the beginning it was weird because he'd do very cute things, it seemed like he liked me more than he was leading on. I asked him once, and told him I liked him. He told me he liked me only as a friend. I got crushed and went off on him telling him not to do such cute things like sing to me anymore. Childish, I know. I let my emotions get in the way. I apologized some time later and we started talking again. When we first hung out after that break, he told me he loved hanging with me and thinks I'm awesome but can't get into a relationship because there are goals he still needs to accomplish. All was well...then he started getting into deeper convo's and talking less. Contradictive but true. He started talking about an ex and an abusive relationship then all of a sudden stopped and had to go. He would say he hates everyone, then change it to hates himself then get frustraded, stop talking and have to go. He started ignoring me and when I asked what was up and if he hates me or something, he said no but he couldn't do it anymore. I said OK. I asked him how he was doing a couple months ago and we started seeing each other again. Only as a fling of course. And hardly ever. He called me 3 times within just minutes one night very late and I didn't answer. I told him the next day that I'm seeing someone and we can't meet up for a while. He has been ignoring me ever since. did I hurt him? I wouldn't think so cause he never said he wanted more...but who knows. I'm hoping a guy can help with this one...or anyone really. Much needed advise. I really liked him a lot. Or do like him rather.


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  • You really need to stop being a doormat for this dude. You make yourself way too available and tolerate being treated like crap and with absolutely no respect. Have some dignity for yourself and stop talking to and seeing this guy. You deserve so much more.

    I know you may like him a lot, but he doesn't like you. He said you were just a fling and he didn't want a serious relationship. I don't care that he finally opened up to you about his past and ex. ACTIONS speak louder than words. And he hasn't done anything to prove to you that he actually likes and cares about you.

  • Why are you having this dilemma on what you should do when you are already seeing someone else and can possibly have a relationship with this new person? Yes a guy may not mean what he says when he said "he only likes you as a friend". A very close guy friend of mine said the same words but all my close friends and I knew perfectly well that he liked me through his actions. BUT if he already made it clear that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, take his words because he means it.

    I'd say move on with life, whether he got hurt with what you've told him, because the fact that he said he can't get into a relationship now already suggested that he's not ready for it for the moment and there's no point for you to give it a go with him. You can maintain a friendship with him should he agree to that, but with minimal contact will do. Also, keep your options open and take things in stride. Who knows maybe in the future if he's ready and if it's meant to be, it'll come naturally. Hope this helps hun. Good luck x