Will attractiveness compensate for deficits in other areas?

Will attractiveness compensate for deficits in other areas?
Will attractiveness compensate for deficits in other areas?
It is easy to drool over a drop dead gorgeous girl, and I have heard grown women fawning like school girls about some handsome guy, but. . . is that spectacularly attractive person worth it if they have some unattractive traits? "Maybe. . . depends on how bad the bad traits are." Okay, how much does attractiveness compensate for bad traits, bad habits, character flaws, in a potential partner?

In your comments, tell us how much you would tolerate from a potential partner who is a 10/10 and who has indicated that they are interested in you.
  • Attractiveness will always compensate for any deficits or flaws
    Vote A
  • Attractiveness will always compensate for all but a few of my deal breakers
    Vote B
  • Attractiveness will compensate for maybe half of my deal breakers
    Vote C
  • Attractiveness will compensate for only a few of my deal breakers
    Vote D
  • Attractiveness will not compensate for any of my deal breakers
    Vote E
  • Attractiveness is not more important than any other factor
    Vote F
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

1|0
4782

Most Helpful Girls

  • There are some bad traits I can live with but if the person has a habit like being verbally abusive and not feel the slightest bit for it, he can be the sexiest most handsome man on earth and I will still treat him like the fucking jackass he is. Forgive my foul mouth.😊

    0|1
    0|0
    • It's alright. I speak French!

    • Show All
    • Maybe; they seem to be easily offended.

    • I see. I wouldn't know that.

  • Attractiveness will not compensate for any of my deal breakers, to me personally if its a deal breaker than im very very unlikely going to let anything change my mind of it.

    11|6
    0|1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well there’s a fine line between quirks/flaws and dealbreakers/red flags.

    From my experience, dating someone who’s cute but displayed multiple red flags/dealbreakers can cost you your sanity. Not worth it. Two examples are people on the rebound or people who are always “hot and cold”. You are better off being single than dating people like that.

    0|1
    0|0
    • @olderandwiser I think the best thing to ask yourself in these situations when observing red flags is “would you put up with this if the girl wasn’t good looking or just ok at best?”

      Sadly, a lot of people, including myself, tend to see the red flags as just flags when looking through rose tinted glasses. Maybe not all the time, but it can be inevitable. You live and you learn though.

    • Show All
    • Mines a bit of both, to educate others but also hear their thoughts and see if they have gone through similar situations.

    • Thanks for most helpful guy

  • Of course. While beauty may be skin deep, ugly is to the bone. ;)

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 45

  • No it won't

    0|1
    0|0
  • why did you put an old man for showing attractiveness...
    And for me yes it can compensate some stuff, I'm not a 10 so if I have the chance to date a guy who's a 10 I'm willing to be more "accepting" towards some of his behaviors.

    0|3
    0|0
    • There are some advantages to older guys! :) :) :)

    • Show All
    • @Sociopathvictim This 27 girl is so boring, poor dog, I really feel bad for him. I feed my dog every food he like (except chocolate too dangerous).
      Because of this my dog is fat XD

      It depend on the girls, if you knew my mother you wouldn't say that though that's true older women are generally nicer. (40 and more).

    • There is much to be said for older women!

  • No. If he isn't easy to get along with, I don't care how easy he is to look at.

    If him and I don't have personalities that compliment one another, if our lifestyles don't match, if he carries any massive deal breakers such as him not being a family man, isn't someone who has drive in life... I have zero damn how easy he is to look at. His attactiveness will not compensate.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Nothing, ever, could compensate my deal breakers but having other amazing attributes could actually compensate for not being as attractive to me. There would still need to be a level of sexual attraction and chemistry but being an amazing guy could balance out not being as hot as someone I’d usually be drawn to

    1|1
    0|0
  • a whole lot of times, the most beautiful person, male or female, can have the ugliest heart. as long as you are clean, try to look your best, all that, the most important thing I look at is your personality And your heart. some of the best people I've ever known are less attractive them some of the worst people I've ever known.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Most people will not break up with an attractive person because of character flaws, because these same people date unattractive people with major character flaws, which means score 1 in one scenario and score 0 in the other, which would you pick.

    Many of the answers here will be oh looks isn't all and I'd take an unattractive person who is nice any day because they're full of it that's why. Bottom line is, most of you are horrible and broken looks aside.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Deal breakers are deal breakers for a reason. And I dont know if I'm a minority but physical attraction is never enough to consider someone. I need something else. I just dont want to be unattracted to them is all.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Keep in mind that attractiveness could disappear within time and tends to sometimes be temporary. Regardless, their attractiveness won’t compensate for any of my deal breakers because most of those deal breakers are reasonable and understandable as well as includes their behavior.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I think most people care too much about looks. Yes this person is attractive but what else.. i guarantee there’s more people out there that just as attractive and more and also anyone who has a brain will understand that a person who is attractive is not a object to look at they have thoughts and opinions and ideas. So it depends if you are a shallow person or not

    0|1
    0|0
  • I've met a lot of guys who are just ridiculously model/movie star good looking but when they open their mouth become the ugliest of the ugly. I can't really think of any negative aspects I'd ignore and would always opt for the less beautiful guy for a great personality.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Attractiveness is what initially draws people in, to make a first impression. But relationships are based on way more than that, so attractiveness in the end is not more important than any other factor

    1|1
    0|0
  • I was dating this guy, and quite early on (4-5 months in) I could see I wasn't sure we were compatible. However, he was everything I liked physically in a man, and he was the first guy I ever dated who I couldn't take my eyes off of. So, I do feel like I let a lot slide. And I told him as much. However, pretty looks only buy time. I broke it off with him about a month ago and I'm happy. We just weren't good for each other, no matter how attractive I found him.

    0|1
    0|0
  • None of my dealbreakers... I want a legit relationship, what use do I have staring at a guy that pleases my eyes when my heart, soul and mind aren't satisfied?

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well there are different ranks for deal breakers... There is red hot deal breaker and then there is yellow deal breaker... so attractiveness will not compensate my red hot deal breakers but might the yellow ones.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I've met men and women that my initial impression of their looks changes after getting to know them. Many gorgeous ladies who are really no ladies at all and become uglier than anything due to ugly attitude and others I thought were ugly but I grew to be attracted to their personality which made them look better to me.
    Our looks are fluid and never does a day pass that we don't look somewhat different than the day before. People's character though? That does not change without a big catalyst and so ugly traits are definitely deal breakers as opposed to ugly faces, which are not

    1|2
    0|0
    • Same here. I've seen attractive women only to find out they have released their true inner bitch and it made me not want to have anything to do with them at any time.

      And I've seen at least one woman, who i did not like at first in terms of physical appearance (she looks nerdy but healthy. When i first saw her she looked the nerdiest she could and i am not attracted to this). Over time she turned out to be nice and i kind of started crushing hard on her. I also discovered, that i also like "big" women 😆 (not fat!). But she has a boyfriend, so i let her be.

  • Attractiveness compensates for none of my deal breakers. If he's some lowlife with no job and has no loyalty, I won't give him the time of day, no matter what a nice face he has.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It'll probably compensate for half, the way you struggle to shout at a kid that misbehaved but looks too cute.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Nope. If you're a cunt, I don't care how good you look, you can fuck off.

    0|2
    0|0
  • i dont care how hot you are, if one of my deal breaker shows up in you, im out

    0|1
    0|0
  • I realized over time that attractive men can be the worst for a person at times and I used to allow their looks to compensate but not anymore

    0|1
    0|0
  • Looks fade overtime and is skin deep. Personality stays with you life

    0|2
    0|0
    • Yeah but if you really love someone you will always see them the way they looked when you fell in love with him

    • While looks do often fade with time. If you have true Love for the person. They will always be the Most Beautiful Girl In The World to you. No matter what the outside changes to.

  • I feel that attractiveness makes sense when it comes to something such as a fling, however long term relationship I would prefer someone with average looks and an awesome personality and attitude.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Attractive people get everything! Even though people say beauty will not compensate the guy or girl but in real life they do.

    0|1
    1|0
  • To me a deal breaker is just that... a deal breaker. It means I won't date the person anymore no matter who they are or what they look like. But I like to think my deal breakers are focused around having principles (i. e I won't date a guy if I find out he's a racist) and real compatibility (if we have absolutely nothing in common or worse if we can't communicate and always fight) and not lesser important things.

    However, in all honestly, I will put up with annoying behaviors for longer if the guy is attractive. I think just about everyone does this. When someone is lacking in the looks department they have to rely mostly on their personality. If they are annoying there isn't a ton of hope for them.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Nah. I can't go out with someone who isn't interesting

    0|1
    0|0
  • Attractiveness does not and will not make up for a shit personality. A handsome face ain't an excuse to act like a dick.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I want to say 'E' but if I'm really honest I have to say 'D', it would compensate for some but only the lesser things. So for example I know one of my deficiencies is running late, taking a while to talk/deal with important things or being stubborn (not for too long) all of which are easier for a "Patient" person to handle. So if he was impatient, looks would cover that (but I'm talking, jaw-dropping, 10/10 dream guy) for a different guy it'd be other traits that could compensate, like 'Thoughtfulness' or 'Drive' or 'Being Organized'.

    But as far as the guys negative traits, it might compensate for something like, being 'Stubborn' or 'Disorganized' or 'Forgetful' but not for being 'Disrespectful', 'Controlling', 'Profane' or 'Abusive/Manipulative'. I know in some ways I set a high standard but I'm willing to wait and chase what I want while working on myself in the mean time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • the more attractive he is the more power to compensate.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I had an ex who was so handsome, when I showed his pic to my female friends they screamed.

    While I definitely appreciated and admired his looks, I never have them more importance than other important things in life, and I dumped him when he was not being sincere enough.

    I had one more ex who was quite average and I was still crazy for him.

    No level of attractiveness can make a person get away with being an asshole with me and no level of ugliness can mask someone's beautiful soul in front of me.

    1|2
    0|1
    • how was he not being sincere enough?

    • Show All
    • she is muslim so i 'need' to know :/ please?

    • @Sociopathvictim ok

  • Attractiveness doesn't compensate for shit. If you're attractive, i dont give a flying f*ck. Be a good person

    1|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Girls
    15

What Guys Said 80

  • Not for me. Personality can, though. Looks are just a plus; they are never enough by themselves.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Deal breaker is a deal breaker. It would not be a deal breaker if I let it slide for any reason, let alone something as superficial as looks.

    Also, traits and behaviors strongly influence ones attractiveness, making my original point and your question null and void.

    0|1
    0|0
    • If you read all the other responses, I clearly DID anticipate how other people would use that term. I also understand the dictionary definition of the phrase. The question, rephrased, is "does the attractiveness of a potential partner make 'deal breakers' a relative concept instead of an absolute concept?"

    • No it doesn't. Read my response for the reason why

    • You gave me the reason for your opinion but that does not mean that everyone else feels the same way on that subject. And I don't disagree with your opinion.

  • Attractiveness will compensate for many failures, when it comes to sexual value. However, attractiveness will not and can not compensate to make someone romantically desireable.

    So, they will have people who want to fuck them, but they won't have anyone who wants to be with them.

    Imagine a graph. 4 quadrants. Vertical is social intelligence and ability, maybe romantic value. Horizontal is animalistic sexual value.

    Upper right quadrant is the "friendzone" people. They might be masters at solving relationship issues or connecting with people, but they lack the ability to be sexual.

    Lower left quadrant is people no one want in any way: extremely low sexual value *and* extremely low romantic value.

    Lower right quadrant is the attractive people with low romantic or social skills. These are the fuck buddies and the partiers. They are incapable or very bad at intimacy.

    Upper right quadrant are the ideal partners. They are both attractive and socially/romantically skilled, capable of both expressing intimacy and sexuality.

    That's how it is. You need both to be all around desireable. Doesn't matter how attractive you are if you are incapable of intimacy or maintaining social ties or bonds.

    1|0
    0|0
  • There is a quality that most of us seek in another person - character. I believe we develop character over time by being presented with challenging situations and being able to overcome them. Much like gaining experience, we learn that doing the right thing when no is looking is as important and succeeding in the task.

    I bring up this attribute because your question focuses on the ultra-attractive 10/10 people. In general terms with everything else considered I don't feel like they have developed as much character as a 5/10 person raised in the same environment. They have been given things (attention, patience, material gifts, social acceptance) their entire lives whereas the average joe had to work on getting those and other things. I question who has the opportunity to develop more character.

    Don't get me wrong, some beautiful people do the right thing and just hit the genetic and social lottery; were raised the right way and have character just built in. But I feel like the heart of your question is whether we prefer an ultra-attractive person who doesn't have the same character as the average joe/jane. Personally if it came down to it and I was still attracted somewhat to the 5/10 person with more experience and character, that's my choice.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Initially, it camouflages many issues but if she is intellectually/emotionally/spiritually incompatible it will out.

    One interesting thing about the pics you chose is that the woman is very likely under 30 whereas the man could be over 50.
    It's definitely unfair that our culture can portray a man as desirable at 55 but you rarely see pics of women who are considered hot over the age of 30. It's also untrue. There are plenty of beautiful women as old as 70

    3|1
    0|0
  • Ideally we’d all say “no, not at all”. I’ll speak for myself because some have clearly said that. For me it’s not a yes or no question which is why I’m glad you had a gradient of choices. I will allow some deal breakers through, which means, now I think about it, are not deal breakers apparently - by definition. At this point in time, I do not want children and I do not want a religious (church) ceremony for a wedding. Big ones right? They’re not set in stone but are my current beliefs. I do want a family but I ideally would turn to children that are in need right now. I have been to many church ceremonies, each and every one the priest has asked for donations at the end. Sickening. Distasteful and I’m just not a believer in any of the 3000 gods.

    I’m very open to differing views however. Sadly in my honesty I have come to the conclusion that an attractive women would stand a better chance of changing my mind.

    SEE BELOW BEFORE OUTRAGE

    Disclaimers, I have a very human sense of attraction and I’m not talking about that fake cover shot pseudo beauty. Attractiveness is as much in the level of kindness and compassion. Sexual attraction is (perhaps sadly) vital. I can sit here and write that I would happily compromise my beliefs for what I think is an unatttractive person. I can’t. But I probably wouldn’t be in that situation, nor would any of you. You’d adore the person you’re with with pure subjectiveness.

    PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND TRY AND GAUGE MY INTENT BEFORE POSTING A REPLY (if at all). Have a good weekend all.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Nope. If they have a deal breaker trait, I'm out.
    People say I'm crazy, or I have lost my mind. But, it's not worth the headache. Been there and done that. It may work in the short run, but long term that deal breaker will whittle away at you. It's a house of cards, and arm candy isn't worth it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • If I feel a really strong physical attraction, I would probably bend some of my deal breaker rules a little bit - at least for a while until I see whether she's willing to accommodate my needs in that area or if I can change my opinion on whatever it is that I don't like - but no amount of attractiveness is going to compensate for things like lying or cheating. I'd much rather have an honest faithful woman that's average looking than a smoking hot woman that lies and/or cheats.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Everyone's got at least one bad trait. unattractive habits I can tolerate are things like depression, eating disorders, maybe some learning disabilities, etc. mostly because I could relate to her and help her. But unattractive habits I CANNOT tolerate are things like laziness, bad hygiene, anger issues, greediness, double standards, cheating, criminal behavior, being gross, being mean, rudeness, and all that horrible shit.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I voted for B. Most people have flaws anyway, and I would rather deal with an attractive woman and her flaws, rather than a woman I'm not attracted to and her bullshit. Just make sure you always protect yourself, no matter who you are with. You can't fully trust people, and always keep your money separate and in your control.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Attractiveness is an important aspect. Physical appearance is the first thing that you notice in your partner before any type of communication.
    Moreover, getting a 100% match is next to impossible. You have to accept the person as he is with whatever his likes and dislikes are. Everybody has to go through some adjustments and sacrifices so as to make the best compatibility. This goes with both you and your partner.

    0|1
    0|0
  • No. You drool over her now but what if she's drooling because she's comatosed? What if she has no idea how to raise kids or take care of herself and she wants to start a family with you? What if she has a short fuse and becomes aggressive or abusive over stupid shit and she thinks she can control you?

    0|1
    0|0
  • Attractiveness may be the reason that made me get up and make my way across this crowded room, brought you another glass of wine and sparked up a conversation with you. It's still comes down to who you are on the inside that will keep me there.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Attractiveness for me compensates for maybe a few other shortcomings like for example her to not be all that what you expected her to be and her other, own quirks but will never override any of my dealbreakers. A shithead is a shithead.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yeah I'm not going to complain if she's very attractive, but if she is a horrible person, cheats, or just won't put effort into the relationship then all her attractiveness means nothing and I will move to someone else who appreciates the effort I'd put in.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would love to have had this questions posed to me at different times in my life because I suspect the power attractiveness has held over me has lessened as I got older.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Only to a degree and only for superficial "relationships". If you have any sort of a good relationship, then the insides of a person should prevail over the outsides.

    0|1
    0|0
  • For me, a deal breaker is by definition something that will make me not even date a woman, let alone get into a relationship with her. Each one, all by itself, is exactly that... no deal. I don't care HOW attractive she is, if she possesses one of those breakers, she's out.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I love how the vast majority of people voted that attractiveness wouldn't compensate for their deal breakers even tho this is clearly not the case in the real world.

    When someone is attractive enough it will compensate for a ton of shit whether people would want to admit it or not. It's easy to stick to your standards online anonymously but when you're face to face with someone really good looking it's sadly a different story.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've met plenty of women who were fucking hot until I got to know them. Their unappealing personality actually detracts from their physical attractiveness.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It is the other way around. Other traits can partially compensate for lack of physical attraction, to enhance overall attraction. (can't overcome obesity, though)

    0|1
    0|0
  • A deal breaker is just that... a deal breaker. If it can be overcome by some other quality, it would merely be a preference.

    I would turn down Cindy Crawford if it turned out she was a meth addict for example.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I find not having those other unattractive traits attractive, because if i like someones personality I grow to like their looks too no matter where on the scale they are.

    0|1
    0|0
  • The best looking girl can't over come some things That a guy likes. After sex a few times yu can't h hardly take it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • My values are my values. While I am somewhat open minded, there are certain things I just don’t tolerate and it doesn’t matter how good you look, no is no.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes right to the bone.

    0|3
    0|0
  • Outter attractiveness while to many might be the most important thing. I like a nice looking girl. She didn't have to be some cover girl model. I love a natural beauty. One that dosn't require a girl to think she needs to wear 10 pounds worth of makeup. So she can go get the news paper off the front porch. The inner beauty is so much more attractive anyways. I do have some deal breakers. And no amount of beauty could ever be able to have me overlook my decision with the issue of the deal breaker. That's no different then bribing an official to look the other way

    0|1
    0|0
  • The dumb blond and bungalow Bill come to mind. No amount of attractiveness will cover up the mind numbing horror of being around such people.

    0|1
    0|0
  • well it depends on what other areas are those, if those areas are like : Loyalty, Honesty, monogamy and Maturity? Then Never

    0|1
    0|0
  • Compensate for about half of my dealbreakers. I like the way you worded those in your poll options. You worded it way better than I would have.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Show more from Guys
    50

Recommended myTakes

Loading...