How do I handle it when my boyfriend critiques my eating habits?

He’s fifty five and eats healthy and I’m 25 I eat.. well good and bad. He says “ you eat too much sugar, it’s better if your healthiest self “. I take it really personally because I feel that he doesn’t love the way I look... even though he never said that. What should I do?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Get a boyfriend your age. This dude is trying to keep his body from deteriorating. I bet at your age he was not eating so healthy. It seems like differing priorities to me, you care about beauty and enjoyment and he cares anout heath and prosperity. Either grow accustomed to the differences he introduces into your life or leave him. Those seem to be your only options.

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  • Ask him, "How much longer will I live if I adopt your eating habits?"

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I personally don't mind the age gaps if people are happy with their relationships, and the girl isn't looking for money, and guy isn't looking for body, but he can be your dad. I wonder how you two got together?

    I think that it might be expected since he's 55 years old. Some people when they get older, they watch what they eat and how much they eat, since their metabolism will slow down with age, although there are many people who are young and watch what they eat as well. Some work out a lot and watch what they eat.

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    • We met through a friend :)

    • I think he eats that way probably is because his metabolism can start slowing down, and what he said about how you eat, could be that he didn't want you to end up with health issues such as overweight.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 68

  • Don't Forget that at his age, Eating unhealthy has much more consequences than doing it at your age.

    No idea what you look like, but his sugar comment is correct from a dietary perspective and isn't something I would take to mean a comment About your appearance.

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  • He's technically right but this is totally about control and a red flag. Ask him how he feels about your body as it is. If he doesn't convince you that he loves it with words and actions, it's time to go. There are plenty of old fish in the sea.

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  • "How do I handle it..." just try to realize it is health concern and not looks. I eat healthy and it physically hurts as in nausea, when I see someone I care about eating junk. I feel physical hurt when I see someone smoking. It is almost like the cringe you have when you see someone get really hurt in a video e. g..

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  • Well, he's right. Listen to him. I am 55 and wish I had listened to him when I was 25.

    This has nothing to do with how you look but how you are dying.
    The way you are eating now is helping it so that you die right around the same time he does even though he is 30 years older than you.

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  • He loves you and probably is genuinely concerned about your health. He has some benefit of hindsight too, and wants you to be fit and healthy at his age. This comes with the territory of dating older men tbh.

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  • i think he's just doting on you because he cares. if he didn't like the way you looked he probably wouldn't be with you right?

    tell him you appreciate the advice but you are an adult and make choices. you are aware of your choices and will keep in mind his advice but you'd appreciate him not voicing critiques and concerns over your consumption so much

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  • You still have to last another 20 or 25 years of service life to him. Unless he replaces you earlier. He looks after the stuff that is associated with him. Not liking ''the way you look'' - we all have sort of signed up because of certain preferences. Looks are one possibility; so: if you gradually mutate to someone/thing different due to your eating habits, it is understandable when he feels uncomfortable with it. At least he speaks about it.

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  • He's 55! he probably has to watch his cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure and god knows what else. better to prevent things then treat them later. here's a thought maybe he's looking out for you. but he don't want to say that because that's a reminder to you that he's older than you. women don't like weak men. And to admit any of that is to show weakness. So he isn't going to come right out and say it.

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  • Push your ego aside and stop taking it personal. No matter how you look it doesn't change the fact that he is right, even if you were a model with the perfect body he would still have a point. So you should just tell yourself he's looking out for your health, besides taking his advice wouldn't hurt anyone.

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  • He's just concerned for your health. There's no way a 55 year old is upset about the 25 year old he's banging... by the way... HOW? Lmao you could ask him to cook for you or maybe together.

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  • If he just mentions it, and isn't trying to control you, then he's simply saying you would be healthier if eating less sugar. That is something people often say to someone they care about, as they want them to be healthy, and enjoy life.

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  • Im gonna be honest with you. He is probably indirectly trying to tell you that you put on weight. You know yourself if that is the case or not.

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  • @KrispyKrunch I love younger women as well (though I'm not old enough for that sort of relationship to happen)
    But in his situation at least I would have the benefit of a longer and more experience so I can afford to be patronizing
    Also don't forget that he's actually caring for you whereas in most other cases the men treat their S/O's as disposable trophy wives in such relationships and replace them with younger and more beautiful women when they change their looks or attitude

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  • Its simple you wanna enjoy your youth hang around with people that are about the same age as you😂your old man is looking out for your health that's no biggie. Old is gold but if you ask me you won't be able to have the fun you can have with the people that are about the same age as you are with people that are older than you

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  • He shouldn't be telling you how to eat and what to eat. I think you need to lay the law down with him and put him in his place. None of my business but i sure wouldn't want a girl to tell me how to eat what to eat. When they tell you what to eat than they start to control how you dress. Than they control where you go. Than they control who you been with. Yes dear it can happen. None of my business and sorry if this was too broad.

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  • Difficult to say. Perhaps you're looking at it from the wrong angle. He may really love you and just wants you to take care of yourself. Or he's just selfish and doesn't want you to get all chunky in the butt. Ask him a direct question about it.

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  • Eating healthy is always good and you'd actually feel and look better! It shouldn't be taken personally and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with him liking the way you look or not. He may havebad habits in the past and therefore he's more conscious especially that he's older. Don't make it into a big issue. He's just concerned.

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  • What do you have to be sensitive in this matter and gently kick his ass to the curb going to critique your eating habits take him out to a public place order two pictures of beer a large pizza and a sub sandwich scarf them down by yourself making a huge mess then tell him to go fuck off

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  • You should not take his concern for your health as a comment on your appearance. It's scientifically proven that sugar wreaks havoc on your system. He is simply concerned for you and your health. Maybe he likes you enough that he wants to be with you long term. That's hard, if you get sick from consuming too much crappy food.
    You're lucky that you have a boyfriend you can share a healthy lifestyle with, so why not embrace it?

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  • Tell him to eff off, that you enjoy your food, and not to sit at the same table as you if he's so bothered. Tell him you don't need a parential influence as an adult.
    As for the others here commenting on your BF's age, again eff off. It's like being told what you can and cannot eat all over again.

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  • Have you talked to him first about it? Try that and then go off of what he tells you. He might be joking or he might be concerned for your health. The best thing in this situation is clear communication and putting your feelings and opinions forward as to clear up any miss understanding so you can both move forward.

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  • I would have ignored him. Even if it is unhealth or made you gain weight, maybe you are aware of it and you can lose awell. Shouldn't it be your responsibility? Tell the old guy, he is the one who should care about what to eat or not.

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  • I would evaluate my own personal eating habits to decide if he is correct and if it is important enough to implement a change. I fail to grasp how your ages are relevant to the situation.

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  • You tell grandpa that you're 25, so it's not as important for you as it is for him.

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  • I see where both of you are coming from but it sounds like he cares about you but if you eat something bad here and there then go ahead as lobg as if its not everyday

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  • Decide, him or what you want to do. Everything demands sacrifice, you can't expect for having everything you want without sacrificing something. Eat healthy (what is better for you) and make him happy or don't do it and accept his comments

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  • One he's 55 two you learn more as you get older I would hope

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  • Drama in 3 acts:
    He said "you eat too much sugar" She heard "you eat too much sugar"
    She twisted it to "you look ugly" admitting he never said that.
    She asks what should she do.
    Curtain

    It's just mind-blowing how women think. Could you just please treat what men say literally? And if you're not sure if what they say have a second meaning could you just not think about it? In 999 cases out of 1000 when a man says "A" he means "A", not rest of the alphabet.

    Same case when a woman will try on a new dress, ask a man if she looks fat in it and he'll say "no" and she will most likely think that he meant "she looks fat, but in that dress she doesn't look half bad". For god's sake please stop. We honestly, genuinely hate that. And the fact you give us a rocket because you have to misinterpret things in the worst way possible, every time.

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  • Well he may be looking at it at a different perspective than looks. How long you can live, just cares about you but doesn't know the right way to express it.

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  • If you eat what you ate today every day of your life what does your physical health look like 30 years from now?

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What Girls Said 35

  • You say ”listen old man, unlike you I have more than 2 years left to live and while my body is still young and bounces back, I’d like to enjoy junk food”.
    Haha okay no maybe you don’t have to be that harsh but maybe say something like ”okay, I hear you and I understand your concern, but can you please stop bringing this up because it’s actually making me feel quite bad about myself”.
    I don’t think it’s about not loving the way you look, some people are just health freaks and go around preaching about healthy foods/point out other people’s bad eating habits, without realizing that it can actually be an extremely touchy and personal subject (what with the existence of eating disorders and other mental illnesses or insecurities that affect your relationship with food). So calmly try to explain to him that it’s a touchy subject for you and that you’d appreciate it if he just let it go. You’re only going to change on your own terms anyway and he has already made his opinion clear, so there’s no point for him to keep pushing it.

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  • Talk to him calmly about how it makes you feel bad. I'm sure he's just trying to help you live a healthier lifestyle; as a fitness fanatic, I can be guilty of sometimes trying to motivate people around me to join in. I dont mean anything wrong by it, and Im not trying to tell them they dont look amazing- simply that eating healthy makes you feel better and there's benefits.
    Im sure that if your boyfriend knew, he would stop doing it.
    On another topic, 30 year age gap? WTF?

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  • I had a boyfriend who was a vegan (I’m not), and who constantly offered running commentary on everything I ate. I told him to eat what he wanted, I would eat what I wanted, and to enjoy his food without commenting about mine. He wouldn’t lock his yap, so I paid for my meal and told him to find someone who felt the same or would tolerate his bs.

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  • I say listen to him, he know better. he didn't say anything about your clothes or weight just what you eat which is after your health which is your best self.

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  • He just wants u to eat healthy... if it bugs u that much express it to him and I'm sure he'll stop pestering u. Altho he's right, sugar really is bad for u

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  • He’s looking out for you and your health? Is that such a bad thing? At least he cares instead of you just dating a guy that doesn’t care about your health.

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  • Do you ACTUALLY eat too much sugar or does he think you eat too much sugar because he's a health nut? Now if your diet is causing health problems then I can see his point as he cares about you but if he's complaining because you pig out on candy once a week... Tell him to STFU. That's just plain patronizing. He may be old enough to be your day but you're not his daughter. Unless you guys are into the whole 'daddy' thing and he's playing up the role.

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  • Tell him that you are not employing him as a nutritionist and he can keep his comments to himself.

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  • "Stop being a Father and Begin By Being my Hunny, No Funny."xx

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    • He is treating you like a daughter and although he is somewhat right, tell him to chill out, It's no Delight, xx

  • Don't mean to be rude, but I mean stuff what he says it's ok to eat foot with sugar in it and fatty foods, I mean it's not that bad, if your happy with your self then stay happy. He proberly just Wants to make sure you stay healthy, but it can come across as offensive

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  • Just be assertive and tell him you're not changing your eating habits to fit around his. If he continues to pressure you, then continue to tell him to stop dictating how you should eat.

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  • Next time he gives you shit take a biiiiig fat bite out of a delicious everything pizza without breaking eye contact. Eat the whole damn pizza while staring at him not saying a word

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  • Girl that man is old enough to be your dad. Find someone your age or at least near your age..😕

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  • Daddy issues omg

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  • damnnn ! Gold digger. lol hahahah! Girl nobody want wake up with a fatty next to them. And I can talk about fat people because I am one.

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  • I'll just set aside the daddy issues and answer the question. You can take it one of two ways: Him giving honest and genuine advice because he is concerned for your health, because if you eat lots of sugar and don't do much exercise, you will be very unhealthy. Eating an apple a day won't keep the diarrhea and obesity away. Also, by the way you say "I feel like he doesn't love the way I look" I assume you're leaning more towards unhealthy than... healthy. On the other hand, you could take it as him being a controlling freak trying to micro-manage your life etc etc. Up to you.

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  • If you don't feel like eating healthy - don't. Just keep in mind that too muvh sugar is not good! But a little is good (makes you happier).

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  • He sounds rather controlling but I'd say if you're happy with what you eat, ignore him.

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  • He should stick to looking after himself instead of you - in that sense. If you are unfit/unhealthy and he is genuinely worried, speak to him, but he should approach in a different way.

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  • Why are you with a fossilized man? I find them to be sexist and they like underaged looking girls to be their maids to do house duties.

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  • He just want you to eat healthy. Does not mean that he wants you thinner

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  • Just listen to your Elders.

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  • If it makes you bad about yourself talk to him about it but if he doesn't change that then maybe you should dump him

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  • By going out and buying yourself pizza and ice cream, then proceeding to eat it one sitting.

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    • hmm that's a little aggressive but thanks

    • I'm a little petty 🤷 he shouldn't tell you how to eat though. That's like telling you what to wear, and his reasoning being that some clothes are more flattering on you.

    • I understand. He tells me I can eat whatever I like but to be mindful. I hear you though

  • i too tend to date older men. he’s probably learned the hard way how a consistent bad diet causes disease. i think it’s more natural for a women to automatically assume something’s wrong with her body- don’t do that. i’m sure you’re beautiful just the way you are. older men tend to have that “i know what’s best” syndrome and sometimes they do. you are what you eat. your body breaks it down and that very “food” (usually chemicals that make our brains think it taste good) becomes what our cells are made of.

    watch FedUp and What The Health on netflix then assess for diet for yourself.

    best of luck <3

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  • He is trying to take care care of you..

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  • y r u dating a guy twice ur age jesus

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  • Tell him to take a jump!

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  • fuck his opinions

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  • Tell him to give up

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