What to do with a guy who isn't sure about pursuing a long distance relationship?

I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month now, it’s a long-distance relationship (50 miles apart) and we aren’t exclusive yet. When we’re together, he seems super into me. He talks about me to his friends and he introduced me to them and to his dad as well. He engages in PDA, and compliments me all the time. He initiates every conversation, checks up on me by calling me every day and talking about everything (we talk for hours sometimes), makes plans in advance, clears his schedule for me, etc., and I know for a fact that he isn’t seeing or hooking up with anyone else. We meet on weekends and we had sex.
But he is (and always was) very against long distance relationships. Even before we started dating he was very clear and direct about not wanting anything long distance. But he also said that sometimes there are exceptions and it might be worth it. I don't really blame him, I respect and understand his reasons, so I never pressured him into anything. We just happened, honestly, we didn't really planned to get so into each other. Especially since I'm looking for a relationship, I knew what I was getting myself into with him. But since I liked him so much, I decided to just let it be whatever it is, take it slow, and see where it goes.
Earlier we talked on the phone and we kind of got to the "topic". I asked him how he feels about us. And he said he doesn't know. That he likes me and wants to keep seeing me, but that he doesn't know where it would lead if we continue it. That he is thinking often and seriously about it. That meeting me totally got him question everything he believed in so far.
Could it be that he really just needs some more time? And if so, what for? More time isn't going to change the distance. Is he waiting to see if I'm worth it? Or is he leading me on?
He probably started feeling pressured now, and I started feeling like wanting space. Would asking for space until he figures out what he wants be a good idea?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Leading you on? Sounds to me like he’s been honest from the start and told you straight out that he doesn’t want a LDR.

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    • Then why doesn't he end this?

    • He likes you. He’s obviously stuck not knowing what to do. Maybe one of you will move eventually

  • You have to give him a reason to want to commit to a long distance relationship. Your cute face, and nice personality aren't enough. Not to sound gross, but if you want to keep him around u need to rock his world whenever you can. Give him a reason to not cheat on u or leave you. Suck his dick good, and fuck him good. Not trying to be gross, just being real

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 50 miles ain't shit. You're probably old enough to know you shouldn't waste your time on someone you don't see it working out with in the end. Figure it out sooner rather than later and if he isn't up to the plate move on. He's either willing to do distance or he just doesn't care about you enough to change. It is simple.

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What Guys Said 13

  • 50 miles long distance? My ass. Mine is a 7 hour drive and we’ve made it work for almost 3 years. Move on

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  • If he's ever been against long distance relationships it would be very unwise to push him into it. Even if u get ur way his already, existing hatred of it will make it end in a hurry. 50 miles isn't that terribly far though

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  • It would be a good idea to see how both of you honestly feel about it some people dont like long distance relationships and they want to move in with the other person their seeing, thats probably a reason why he's thinking about it

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  • I've been in long distance (longer than 50 miles) and they just don't work well, it sucks but it what happens, try it and see if it is ok with you, if it's difficult then, it'll be best to cut it off and move on

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  • Well I think you have all the "combos" on this fight.
    Your relation is open, you really love each other, and he is questioning his ideas about it.
    My advice, put a calendar to see yourselves.

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  • He might need some more time to be able to understand if he can go on with this kind of a relationship. He might have a strong need to see you more often.

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  • If you don't want to pursue the relationship. Asking for space = breakup.

    Decide what YOU want and go for that. All this 'splaining is a headache.

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  • 50milez isn't far I'd come for girl every other day and make u fall in love again every time

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  • It never works at the begining is all ok. But never works

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  • 50 miles is a doable distance, I traveled further than that for girlfriend

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  • Move on

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  • Break up

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  • This won't work, but it's your fault for continuing when you already knew his stance on LTR.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Nothing

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  • Your distance is not very much in compare to many relationships, give him some time and he will find out if he’s really in love with you and wants to have you no matter what is the distance! Or he even may find a way to be closer to you, it’s even more better for you!

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  • Maybe he isn't into all the talking and flirting. Maybe he wants something real. It probably has nothing to do with you. And honestly he's telling the truth. No one knows the future or what may happen so maybe he's scared.

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  • Question is do you like him? If you don't like him 100 percent then you know this is just a relationship of convenience.

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    • I mean do you like him enough to wait for him to say yes to a committed relationship?

  • Communication is key when having a long distance relationship. I don’t think the best thing to do is just wait to see what happens. I would try and talk to him a little more about it. Ask him questions like: do you think that we could make it work? If you think his answer leans more to him not wanting to make an effort then YOU can see if it’s worth it or not. Remember that you can change things too and that he’s not the only one whit a point in your relationship. He should be able to give his best and try to find a way but if you’re not seeing it maybe he’s not worthy of making efforts for either. Good luck.

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  • They’re dumb

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